His cheeks grew heated. These were the parts she had never known. The parts he’d kept from her to protect himself. Now he forced himself to explain about his own bad choices. How he’d dug them in even further.
“I am humiliated,” he said when it was all out and the room had been silent for too long as his family digested his confession. “I didn’t want you to know.”
Charlotte had been staring at him as he spoke, but now she stood slowly. He watched, wary, as she moved toward him. Then she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him just as tightly as she ever had. Her voice trembled as she whispered, “How horrible that you felt you had to carry this burden alone. Oh, Baldwin, I’m so sorry.”
He drew back. “You’re sorry? I’m the one who has disillusioned you about our father and destroyed our family name.”
She shook her head. “I am disillusioned, of course. But that isn’t your doing—it’s his. He had many good qualities. Right now I am stunned, but this news doesn’t change how kind he could be. How supportive. How loving.”
Baldwin’s brow wrinkled. He’d been dealing with the fallout of his father’s bad behavior for so long that he hadn’t been able to recall those things that Charlotte said. Now they flooded back. His father teaching him to ride. His father praising him for successes and comforting him in his failures.
He swayed a little as those loving feelings returned. His sister’s gift to him.
“There’s more, I’m afraid,” he croaked out as he motioned Charlotte back to her seat.
His mother moaned anew. “Oh no.”
He nodded. “I’m sorry. There were three outstanding debts that I could not trace the source of. While we’ve been here, my solicitor has sent word that they’ve been bought by one private party.”
Ewan shook his head and signed as Charlotte translated, “Bought? Someone bought all three debts? Why?”
“I have no idea,” Baldwin said, holding Ewan’s stare and watching his friend’s face twist in horror at the possibilities.
“There can be no good reason,” Charlotte whispered.
Ewan signed, “How much?”
Baldwin shot his mother a side glance before he said, “Five thousand pounds.”
The duchess leapt to her feet, covering her mouth with both hands. Charlotte simply stared at him, and Ewan looked sick.
Baldwin let them process the terrible news for a moment, then drew a deep breath. “There’s a reason I’m telling you all of this at last, when I’ve kept it a secret for so long. And it is this…I’m in love with Helena Monroe.”
His mother lowered her hands slowly. “Oh, Baldwin.”
“Mama and I had created a list of suitable heiresses with large enough fortunes to help get us out of a portion of this mess father and I created, but…I love her. And she has nothing,” Baldwin said, and there was a huge weight that lifted from his shoulders when he got to say those words. The last secret was out. He was no longer alone in bearing it all.
Charlotte’s eyes had filled with tears and she reached for Ewan’s hand. “Baldwin…oh, this should be such happy news. We adore Helena, and anyone can see the connection between you.”
“Loving her is the best thing I’ve ever done in my life,” he whispered. “If the circumstances were any different, I would offer for her without hesitation. But the circumstances are not different. So when I offer for her, it will cause farther-reaching consequences. I knew you had to understand them, to voice your objections. You have that right.”
“You’re offering for her,” his mother whispered.
He nodded immediately, for he felt no hesitation in the decision he had made. “I am. I must. A life lived without her is…unfathomable. I spent the night going over figures, reading over the ledgers, trying to find a way to make it work. It will require whittling down to almost nothing. The art will be sold, some of the furnishings in the other three houses. The London home will be where we stay almost all the time.” He shook his head. “I’ll tell her, of course, that it will be an austere life.”
“And what about these debts you spoke of,” Charlotte whispered. “Does it take into account if those are called back by this mysterious buyer?”
He hesitated. “That is the sticking point. I have no idea of the terms that will be laid out by this mysterious person. I can’t plan for them. So…no. If the debts are called in, then—then the worst may still happen.”
Ewan signed something. A few simple slashes of his fingers in the air, but Charlotte’s expression crumpled as she stared at him.
“I love you,” she whispered.
Ewan smiled down at her, his reply clear on his face. The words were not needed.
“He says he will pay the debt,” she said, rising to take his hand.
Baldwin’s lips parted. “It’s five thousand pounds. A small fortune.”
