He cleared his throat and wrote, “I’m not trying to make Charlotte ill at ease.”
He left his pencil to hover over the paper a moment. He wanted to say more. He knew he likely needed to say more. But the words wouldn’t come. Probably because every word that ran through his head was a confession. A plea for help. A surrender to all she desired and all he feared.
Finally he handed the pad over. Baldwin read the words and silently handed it over to Matthew. Sheffield softened slightly. “I know,” he said. “I know you don’twantto hurt my sister. If I thought you did, I’d call you out at dawn, friend or not. But you must see that you—youare.”
Ewan shifted. Of course he saw it. Hefeltit. He wore that guilt like a blanket around his shoulders.
“I don’t know what happened between you two while you were alone here,” Baldwin continued as Matthew handed the pad back to Ewan. “But I feel a shift. I hope it might signal a new future for you both. But if it doesn’t, I hope you won’t hurt her in the process. She was hurt enough last time.”
Ewan flinched. So Baldwin knew or had guessed about the past. About the present. He nodded slowly.
“Excuse me.”
The men turned, and Ewan caught his breath. Charlotte was standing at the door. Her expression was bright, untroubled, so he didn’t think she’d overheard their conversation about her. He hoped she hadn’t.
“Mama and the Duchess of Tyndale have decided to take a rest, so I was thinking that this might be a good time to go into town.”
Baldwin cocked his head. “Why?”
“Well, unlike you lot, I’ve not been out in the house for the past few days. I wouldn’t mind seeing that the world still exists outside these walls. And I made some promises of wooden swords and dollies that I’d like to keep.”
Baldwin and Matthew exchanged a look of confusion and Ewan smiled at Charlotte. Of course she would wish to keep her word to the children. With Boxing Day coming up so soon, it made sense to bring her offerings to his tenants’ children on the same day he brought his other gifts to them.
He nodded and signed to her, “I will accompany you if you wish to go.”
“Ewan agrees,” she translated. “Are you two willing or are you tired of town?”
“A bit tired, actually. Baldwin, what say you to a game of billiards?” Matthew replied. He smiled, but Ewan saw the tension still on his face. He was playing peacemaker, putting space between Baldwin and Ewan so the battle between them wouldn’t transform into damage that might not be repaired so easily.
After the past few months with Simon and Graham broken apart, no one wanted that.
Baldwin stared at Charlotte and back to Ewan. Then he nodded. “I prefer billiards, as well. You two enjoy, though. I assume you’ll be back in time for luncheon if Mama asks.”
“I would think so,” Charlotte said. “It’s only a few things I must pick up.” Ewan nodded and her face lit up. “Excellent. I’ll have Smith fetch my wrap and my gloves and I’ll be ready.”
She spun from the room and Ewan couldn’t help but watch as she did so. He was so focused on her departure, he didn’t realize Baldwin had stepped up to him until his hand closed around Ewan’s upper arm. Ewan turned, his heart throbbing as he stared at his friend.
Baldwin’s voice was gentle as he said, “Just try not to hurt her. Better yet, don’t hurt yourself. It seems your hearts are tied together, so I know there is not one heartbreak without the other.” He patted Ewan on the arm and then said, “Come, Tyndale. I’m ready to make you look a fool at billiards.”
“Unkind!” Matthew said with a laugh even as he speared Ewan with a look that told him this subject would be discussed again. Then Matthew followed Baldwin out the door, leaving Ewan alone.
He sighed. Somehow he’d thought that having the others here would put a kind of buffer between himself and Charlotte. Instead, everyone seemed to see the connection between them and wanted to encourage it.
And he was about to be alone with her once again. A recipe for disaster that he had to avoid. For both their sakes.
Chapter Thirteen
Charlotte clung to Ewan’s hand as she stepped from the carriage. The town of Donburrow was a bustling place, with a thriving inn for travelers, several shops and a village of residents who all seemed to pause to tip their hats to the duke.
She smiled at the deference they showed, though there was part of her that was frustrated. Here Ewan believed he was seen as damaged by all who met him, but his people clearly respected him. His friends adored him. It was like the negative things said and done to him held so much weight that he tossed the positive aside.
Including her.
She sucked in a breath. She was not going to go down that road in her mind. She’d been very careful to be benign on her topics of conversation on the half an hour ride to town. She’d wanted to launch herself into his arms, but had resisted. They’d spoken on the weather and the holiday and compared news of all their friends.
It had been comfortable and normal. Just as she’d intended it to be, in the hopes that he would see how easy their connection could be. How easy and normal their life could be.
“Swords and dollies,” she said, sliding a hand into his elbow and squeezing gently. “Lead the way.”
