He drew in a soft breath and reached out to trace the soft slope of her shoulder, the line of her arm. His fingers trailed over her side beneath the blankets and he memorized the swell of her hip with his hands. She stirred a little and he froze, watching as her lips parted on a contented little sigh. She didn’t wake, though. Was it because she was a heavy sleeper? Just exhausted from a night of passionate exploration?
She wanted him to find out. She wanted him to take this time alone and make it theirs. But…he wasn’t sure. In the light of day, even with her tucked against his body, he knew that wasn’t right. It wasn’t something that a gentleman and a lady did.
Only that body didn’t seem to care. Even now when she curled her hand against his chest and burrowed closer, his cock swelled to life and demanded he do things to her. Wicked, wonderful things.
His mind wanted things, too. After all, he had loved Charlotte since the moment she took his hand and dragged him inside to listen to his father the day he’d been abandoned with his aunt and uncle. Loving her had only become easier as wanting her became more and more painful.
He loved her now, looking down at her, a little smile on her face as she dreamed of…well, he could only imagine what she dreamed of. If he were any other man, he would have offered for her years ago. The moment she was out in Society, he would have gone to her brother and asked for her hand so that no one else could ever make a claim.
But he wasn’t any other man. He wasn’t normal. He wasn’t right. He was damaged. His father had told him that five times a day for ten years, and Ewan knew he was right. What other man had to carry a notebook around in his pocket just to communicate? And if the notebook was missing? He was reduced to pointing and grunting like some animal. People stared. Whispered. Laughed. Talked about him like he wasn’t there or wasn’t intelligent enough to hear their mocking.
Was that a life for Charlotte?
And what if they had children? What if he passed along his brokenness to some little boy or girl? Then he would have to watch that child tread down a horrible path like he had.
He flinched at the thought, at the pain that accompanied it. He wouldn’t pass that pain to anyone, not even his worst enemy. How could he even consider passing it to this woman he loved and any children they would produce together?
Whatever Charlotte was trying to do with this seduction, he might not be able to resist physically. But he had to remain strong when it came to everything else. When it came to a future he knew they couldn’t have.
A knock on the outer door to his chamber broke through his troubling train of thought, and Charlotte stirred again at the sound. She lifted her head, eyes bleary with sleep, and when she saw him, she smiled. She snuggled into him.
“I thought you might be a dream,” she murmured, voice still thick with sleep. “I’m so glad this is real.” The knock came again and she shook her head. “What time is it?”
He signed, “Early. I need to answer it.”
He leaned in to kiss her, then managed to extract himself from her arms and get out of the warm bed. He grabbed for a robe that was draped on the back of a chair and checked its pocket for his notebook before he slipped from the master chamber and into the entryway.
When he opened the door, he found Smith awaiting him. While the butler was normally pulled together, this morning he had clearly been interrupted in the midst of his toilette. His hair was slightly disheveled and his jacket was crooked.
“I’m so sorry to wake you, Your Grace,” he said with an incline of his head. “But the rain continued overnight. The water is rising like last year.”
Ewan nodded before he wrote, “Then we’ll need to sandbag and move the tenants closest to the water’s edge.”
“Half a dozen men have started down to the river to start filling the bags with sand, Your Grace,” Smith responded.
Ewan glanced over his shoulder. The irresponsible part of him wanted to let his staff take care of the issue and just stay in bed with Charlotte all day. But he couldn’t do it. And perhaps it was best to have a day apart anyway. It could only help him find the distance he liked to keep between them.
“I will ready myself and join them,” he wrote. “I will not need a valet.”
“Very good, sir,” Smith said. “Will you require anything else?”
Ewan shook his head, reached out to squeeze Smith’s shoulder in thanks and stepped back into the chamber. As he made his way back into the bedroom, he found Charlotte there, sitting up in his bed, his sheets barely wrapped around her body. Want rose up in him, pounding through his veins and making his cock hard and achy beneath his robe.
“Flooding?” she said, concern heavy in her voice.
He shed out of the robe and went to his wardrobe to find some of his working clothes. As he stepped into his trousers, he signed with one hand, “Yes, the proximity of my property to both river and sea makes it a beautiful place, but also dangerous. This year and last the heavy rains have caused flooding. My father let the tenants deal with it themselves, but I see it as my responsibility.”
“And so you fill bags with sand?” she asked, watching his every move as he dressed. Her focused regard did not make this easier. “Is that what Smith said?”
“That’s right,” he signed, then tugged his shirt over his head. When his hands were free again, he continued, “It provides a temporary dam that directs the water away from the houses. This repeat of last year’s situation means we must build a retaining wall in the spring. But for now, I must go out and help the men.”
She pushed to her feet, the sheets fluttering away and revealing her utterly naked body. He swallowed hard past a suddenly very thick throat and fought desperately to focus on what she was saying.
“I’m coming with you.”
He blinked, and her nakedness faded slightly into the background at her shocking statement. He shook his head and signed, “Too dangerous!”
She arched a brow and grabbed for her gown from the previous night. As she struggled into it, she said, “You’ll need all the help you can get. And wouldn’t it be easier to communicate through sign rather than trying to write notes in the rain?”
