She lifted her hands to her hot cheeks. “Oh, Abernathe—”
“If we’re plotting together, it really must be James,” he said with an arched brow.
“But I’m not plotting,youare,” she said. “I was only teasing when I said that to you last week.”
“Were you?” he asked, suddenly serious again. “Be honest with yourself,wereyou teasing? I know a little about you, Emma.”
Fear gripped her heart just as sadness had a moment before. “What do you know about me?”
He sighed, as if reluctant to say what he was about to say. “I know you’ve been out in Society for four years. I know you stand on the wall at parties, hating every moment. I know your mother is pressing at your back, demanding you save her.”
“Save her?” Emma repeated, hating how her bottom lip trembled. Hating that he was right and could see everything that tormented her.
“Save her because the money will run out, especially at the rate she wants to spend it. And she puts all her hopes in you. It’s a heavy burden, Emma, I can see it.” His voice dropped and he took a small step toward her. “Iknowit. I’m offering to help you carry it. To give you a fresh chance you haven’t had since you first came out.”
She shook her head. “And you would do all this just to keep a few aggressive mamas away from you?”
He held her gaze for what felt like a very long time. She felt him reading her, analyzing what to do next. It seemed he’d made a decision when he said, “It’s more than that. I suppose if I am to make demands, to ask you to be my partner in this, I must be honest with you. Emma, I don’t want to get married.”
“Ever?” she asked.
Slowly, he nodded his head, his gaze never leaving hers. “Ever.”
She blinked. She’d heard those rumors, of course, that James was avoiding his duty. Meg had implied it, he’d said a few things about it, gossip screamed about it…but she’d assumed it was about putting the inevitable off for a year or two.
Thiswas something else.
“Why?” she asked.
He froze, and discomfort crossed his handsome face. He stared off into the sky, lost to her as he pondered whatever troubles were on his mind. And there were troubles. She could see them moving across his face. Worse, she wanted to step forward and comfort him, even if it wasn’t her place.
“It’s complicated,” he said at last, his face turning into shadow so she could no longer read it. “Suffice to say, I have my reasons. So will you help me? And be helped yourself in the process?”
She didn’t answer right away. In that charged moment, she wanted to know so much more. To know why that sadness was in his eyes again. To know why he avoided his duty when it seemed he was a man of honor in his heart.
But he didn’t want to show her those things and she had no right to ask for them.
“This is insanity,” she said at last, for she had no other way to describe it.
To her surprise, he smiled. “You are here, Emma. We are in this situation already, aren’t we? Why not help each other?”
She drew in a long breath. The world was currently spinning wildly out of control and she needed a moment before she agreed to anything so wild as his plan.
“Let me think about it,” she said.
His eyes went wide, and for a moment it was like no woman had ever refused a request of his before. Perhaps they hadn’t. He was a man who was hard to refuse.
Finally he nodded. “Very well, if that is what you require. Think all you’d like.”
“I need to go up to the house. I need to…get ready, to just…to get ready.”
“I can escort you,” he suggested.
She looked at him, her lips still throbbing from where he’d kissed her, her knees shaking and shook her head. “No, I think you’d best stay here. I—oh, I’m just going to go.”
She said nothing more and ignored him calling her name as she rushed from the garden and back up to the house. But being away from him didn’t help as much as she’d hoped. Even as she fled his side, she still felt his gaze on her. His hands on her. His mouth on her.
And she still heard the words of his plan ringing in her ears as she went to get ready for what promised to be a very long night ahead.
