“You deserved it,” he said softly, rolling up his sleeves as he spoke. “You deserve so much more than I’ve given.”
Her expression softened, even as he dipped his hand beneath the water and stroked his fingers back and forth over her knee.
“Simon, you judge yourself so harshly. Have there been mistakes made? Yes. But that is being human. To expect you’d go through life without ever making the wrong move is to hold yourself to a high standard that is unattainable.”
He met her stare, stilling his fingers in their movement. “But I’ve hurt you.”
She nodded. “You have. But I’ve never thought you did it with malice or intent or forethought.”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, his heart hurting.
“Yes, it does,” she whispered. “If I thought you’d meant to hurt me or taken pleasure in that act, I would have asked you to leave instead of joined you today. I grew up with a man who enjoyed hurting those around him, who did things on purpose to break us down. Whatever you’ve done, I know you are not that man.”
His eyes fluttered shut and he let out a long breath as pain overwhelmed him. “You overcame just as much as I did from your childhood, but you are so much better, Meg. So much stronger.”
She moved forward again, cupping his cheeks gently. “I had James as my support,” she reminded him. “You were alone until you met Graham and James when you were, what, thirteen? And even then, it wasn’t as if you always had them at your side. You are exactly who you are, Simon. I wouldn’t want any other man, any other way.”
He met her eyes, he saw the truth in her words, and the love he felt for her washed over him. He leaned in and kissed her, drawing her almost out of the tub as he crushed her against him and reveled in her warmth and her acceptance, things he had shied away from since their marriage because, in truth, he hadn’t believed he deserved them. Or that they were real. Or that they could last.
Now he was beginning to believe. To see the future she had described so many times. The one he had nearly destroyed out of fear and distrust that love could be true.
He drew away, shaking from the power of his emotions. “I’m sorry.”
She laughed as she stood up, a goddess clad only in rivulets of streaming water. “Never apologize for kissing your wife thoroughly, Simon.”
He grabbed for one of the thick towels the servants had brought to the cottage earlier in the day. She wrapped herself in it, drying off slowly as she smiled at him, well-aware of the show she was performing. And every part of his body was on high alert as she did so.
Somehow, though, he resisted her temptations and took the robe that lay across the bed. “Your Grace.”
She shrugged into it, and followed him into the main room of the cottage. He offered her a seat at the table and she stared down at the place he’d set for her. When she smiled, he tilted his head. “What?”
She laughed as she switched the knives and forks around. “You set it all backward.”
He grinned. “How am I to know?”
“You don’t pay attention when you sit down to eat?” she giggled.
He shrugged. “It seems I don’t. Perhaps I am too caught up in the company I keep to know which side is for knives and which for forks.”
“Of course. That must be it.”
He set food on her plate and his own, then sat down across from her. The table was so small that it was an intimate setting, and for a while they ate in companionable silence.
But as time ticked by, Simon knew he couldn’t put off the inevitable for long. At last, he set his napkin on the table and met her gaze.
“I’ve avoided your questions and your concerns these past few weeks,” he said. “And tonight I want to address them. So if you have something you want to ask, if you have something you need to know…I’m here to answer.”
She caught her breath, a sharp intake of air that told him she was surprised by his openness. She set her own napkin away and leaned back in her chair. “You are truly dedicated to this, aren’t you?” she whispered.
He nodded. “Yes, I am. The moment James told me you’d left, I realized that was like my own heart being torn from my chest. I was late in recognizing that losing you would be the closest thing to death, but I see it now and I will do anything to keep it from happening.”
She pressed her lips together for a moment. “Very well, then I open the floor to the same openness from my end. If you have any questions for me, I shall answer them with the same spirit of honesty that you have given.”
He drew back, for he hadn’t considered that as an option. He realized he did, indeed, have questions for Meg. But he wanted to clear her mind before he addressed his own. “You first.”
She ducked her head and a dark blush colored her cheeks. The unexpected reaction surprised him.
“What is it?”
