He trailed away, cutting off his vulnerability before he could reveal the entirety of his soft underbelly. In truth, he didn’t fully trust Aaron not to cut him.
Aaron stared at him for a long, charged moment, then stood. “Feel so what?” he asked.
Griffin swallowed, struggling with his words. Then he whispered, “Alone.”
Aaron’s jaw tightened, like he was gritting his teeth. He took another long step toward Griffin, his eyes flashing emotion. Griffin at first thought it was anger, and he recoiled. But the closer Aaron came, the more he realized that wasn’t it at all.
“Have you ever thought that the reason I don’t discuss this with you is because I fear I would not just talk to you?” Aaron said softly. “Have you ever considered that perhaps it is self-preservation?”
“What do you mean you wouldn’t just talk to me?” Griffin asked, even though his heart was pounding with excitement. He knew exactly what Aaron meant. He meant he was afraid that if they spoke of things plainly that he would…touchGriffin.
“Fuck,” Aaron said, and turned to leave the gazebo.
Griffin caught his arm before he could go and spun him back. Aaron tensed, as if ready to pull away, perhaps even ready to fight, but before he could do any of it Griffin leaned in and pressed his lips to Aaron’s.
For a moment, the world stopped. Both men froze, their mouths locked. Griffin could feel the tension in Aaron’s body, the fight he was waging. Then he mumbled a curse against Griffin’s mouth and grabbed his arms, dragging him closer as he opened and slanted his mouth to deepen the kiss.
Griffin opened too, and their tongues met, tangling with desperate passion, with long withheld curiosity and desire. Griffin had often wondered what Aaron would taste like. It turned out it was mint and whiskey, and the combination made his toes curl in his shoes as he drank deeply of the heady mixture.
Aaron clung to Griffin’s arms, his fingers biting into his biceps as his tongue plunged hard and fast, mimicking a fuck and making Griffin tremble with anticipation. He managed to rip his arms free of Aaron’s grip and wrapped them around him, their bodies molding from head to toe.
He felt Aaron’s fingers gliding along his spine and he shuddered at the pleasure that touch caused, even through all the heavy layers of wool and cotton that separated them. His cock swelled and he arched, driving his tongue harder into Aaron’s mouth. His erection bumped Aaron’s and they both shuddered at the slide of cock on cock.
They rocked like that, rubbing lightly as the kiss slowed, gentled. There was no longer a war between them, just a desire to touch, to be close, to sate the need that had been born that first moment their eyes met across the room at a forbidden club. Griffin felt like he was melting, melting, merging with Aaron, two now an inseparable one. He slid his hands down Aaron’s back and cupped his backside, drawing him up tighter to increase the pleasure of rubbing cocks.
Aaron froze at the action, his lips ceasing their movement, his hips tensing.
“No,” he mumbled against Griffin’s mouth.
Griffin drew back slightly. “Please,” he whispered.
“No,” Aaron repeated, this time more strenuously. He pulled from Griffin’s arms and paced across the gazebo. His shoulders shook as he ran a hand through his thick blond hair, and he refused to turn back to look at Griffin.
“Why?” Griffin asked, his voice shaking as hard as his body. “Why not? We both know this is what we are, what we do. And we both know there has been an attraction between us—not just in the past day, but for far longer than that.”
Aaron spun at that. His mouth was drawn down in a deep frown. “Yes,” he admitted. “Yes, that is true. But I can’t. Not with you.”
“Damn it,” Griffin snapped out, gripping his hands at his sides. “What the hell is wrong with me that I don’t rise to your standards of who to fuck?”
Aaron’s lips parted in surprise at the strong words. He rocked like he was going to move toward Griffin, but he dripped his head and instead stepped back. “I-I can’t because…because I won’t hurt your sister. Not like that. Not again.”
Aaron watched as Griffin’s mouth dropped open in surprise at his outburst. He couldn’t blame him. Aaron was a bit surprised by it, too. He had never spoken to anyone about his past with Letty and Noah. But the kiss…that glorious kiss had changed everything.
The moment Griffin touched him, Aaron’s mind had emptied of everything but pleasure. Of need for this man that he had tried to stifle, to ignore, to destroy. It was impossible, though. He wanted Griffin so fucking much that it hurt. A deep, soul hurt that he recognized.
He had felt it once before. And it had ended so badly.
“Don’t just stare at me,” Griffin demanded through clenched teeth. “Explain what you mean.”
Aaron squeezed his eyes shut. As much as it hurt, he had to tell the truth. It was the only way to make Griffin understandwhythey couldn’t be together. The only way to stop this out of control boulder racing down the hill toward them. He opened his eyes and met Griffin’s.
“Do you know my history?” he asked, his voice choked and croaking.
Griffin cocked his head. “A little. You are a solicitor. You’re the best friend of Letty’s late first husband, Lord Seagate. You want the same things I do, even if you stand here saying you don’t wantme.”
The last sentence was said harshly, an accusation that stung Aaron to his core.
He rubbed a hand over his face. “Noah and I met as children, and yes, we were friends. But by the time I was sixteen, I knew that I was…different. That I couldn’t deny these urges that swelled inside of me. I felt like I was drowning and I resolved to kill myself.”
