But as she looked into Asher’s eyes, she saw the truth.
“She…she wanted me to marry well,” she finally choked out. “Because of our financial position. She was desperate, but I never thought she’d…she’d…do something so awful. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Asher reached out to her. “Felicity,thisis why I didn’t tell you. I know how close you are. With everything you’ve been through, I didn’t want you to know how far she’d gone.”
She covered her face with her hands. “She went to the ends of the earth to obtain my security, at the expense of my happiness. At the expense of yours.”
“I was very angry that night,” he said. “With her, with my father. When I left, I didn’t write him for weeks. But I enjoyed my studies and found success. In the end, I convinced myself that what she’d done was for the best. After all, you married well, or so it seemed, and I was able to have a life I never could have imagined as a boy training to be a servant.”
She bent her head. “So you didn’t regret leaving.”
“Every day,” he said softly. “Every time I dreamed of you, I regretted it. Every time I thought I heard your voice, I ached. I regretted itevery day. And it turned out, so did my father. His guilt over it was part of why he quit your family’s service less than a year later.”
Felicity nodded. “I was gone by then, but I was surprised when I heard that Seyton had left our employ. His hands, he told my brother.”
“And that was part of it. But part was…he said something strange to me. That he’d lost enough thanks to those in rank. And he was sorry he’d let me lose something too.”
She wrinkled her brow, also not understanding those words. But she did understand one thing as she traced through the timeline of their situation.
“My husband died three years ago,” she said softly. “I had some autonomy then. And you had success. You could have come to me at any time in those years and explained yourself to me. You could have told me the truth.”
He pressed his lips together. “I didn’t think I deserved you, Felicity. I was older then, I had experienced more of the world. I had seen others try to make such a disparate match work and fail, to the great pain of all involved. I told myself you had moved on. I told myself that you had forgotten me.”
“But I hadn’t,” she whispered, shaking her head. “I never did. And I never gave a damn about your rank, Asher. Not when you were a servant’s son. Not when you were a successful solicitor. Not if it turned out you were in line for a damned dukedom. I wanted you. And I would have done anything to have you.”
“You were braver than I was,” he said after a pause that seemed to fill the carriage. “You always were, Felicity.”
She stared at him, this man she loved. He made no excuses, but he also made no promises. She was everything to him, he claimed, but he’d been willing to walk away. She could forgive that the first time. He’d been threatened and he’d felt he had no choice.
But since then? And now?
“Asher,” she began, but the carriage began to slow as she said his name.
They were pulling into her mother’s driveway. She could see her family coming down, Stenfax leading them, her mother just behind. The mother she would have to deal with, along with everyone else.
“This will have to wait,” she said softly, meeting his gaze. “But we are not finished with this discussion.”
“I agree,” he said. “There is so much more to say, Felicity. But for now just know that I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
She heard those words and the sincerity behind them. And somehow…it helped. Becausehehelped. And she wasn’t ready to let that go, even as the door to the carriage opened and she stepped out into the family that would have to process everything that had happened to them. And everything that was still to come.
Asher couldn’t keep his eyes off Felicity as she took Stenfax’s arm and allowed him to lead her into the parlor. The rest of the family followed, including Lady Stenfax, who tossed Asher the same furtive glances she always had since his return. The ones that said guilt and regret and shame.
Celia and Dane took up the rear of their group. He had arrived on horseback just moments after the carriage had. And their friend was pale as they settled into their places.
Stenfax sent a side glance to his mother and then said, “Is everything…resolved?”
Dane didn’t speak for a moment and Asher stepped forward. “Yes,” he said. “The item we were seeking has been found.”
There was a collective relief in the room, save from Lady Stenfax, who still looked confused. “You have all been entirely odd,” she said. “Does anyone want to tell me what is going on?”
Felicity released her brother’s arm and moved toward her mother. Asher couldn’t read her expression. Years of protecting herself and hiding her feelings had served her well in that arena. She slowly looked at her brothers, then back to their mother.
“You and I will have a chat in a little while, Mama, and I will explain everything to you. Andyouwill do the same for me. For right now, just know that we’re…safe. Thanks to John Dane. And thanks to Asher.”
Her mother jerked her gaze toward Asher and he held her stare calmly. “Felicity,” she whispered.
“Will you meet me in the music room in half an hour?” Felicity asked. “I promise you I’ll explain everything at that time.”
