She lifted into him with another ragged moan and her second orgasm hit fast and hard. His thrusts grew steadier as he guided her through it, then harder, then faster until he grunted deep in his throat and withdrew to spend away from her at last.
Asher wouldn’t have been able to say whether they lay with their bodies curled together for a moment or an hour. He only knew that Felicity felt perfect in his arms, her back settled against his chest, her backside cradling his cock, her breath matching his evenly.
Still, time was passing, he knew that, and he also knew that at some point he would have to exit her room.
She must have sensed his thoughts, for she turned slowly and wrapped her arms around him. “Pondering your escape?”
“Not from you,” he reassured her before he kissed her gently. “But your mother would likely not be happy if she found us together. I’m certain that would lead to a violent calling out from your brothers.”
She pursed her lips and he saw the shadow of trouble cross her face. He wasn’t certain if the expression had to do with her fears on what would happen if they were caught together like this or everything else that weighed on her mind.
“My mother is on the other side of the hall,” she said at last. “My door is locked. And my lady’s maid won’t come to me for hours.”
He arched a brow at her statements. “What are you asking me?”
She pushed herself up on one elbow and met his gaze evenly. “Stay,” she said softly.
He blinked. What she was asking meant a great deal to him. He had no doubt it meant an equal amount to her. But it was still dangerous.
“Felicity.”
Her face fell slightly and she rolled away. “Of course not,” she said softly.
He touched her shoulder. “Staying is too treacherous.”
“For what? For who?” she asked, pushing to her feet. “I understand what answers you’ll give, but I wish you would be honest with me.”
He watched her tug her nightgown back over her head, the flush on her skin no longer put there from pleasure, but from upset.
“How am I not being honest?” he asked, trying to keep his frustration from his voice.
She turned on him, arms folded as a shield, walls erected between them that felt suddenly insurmountable despite what they’d just shared.
“Six years ago I asked you the same thing that I just did. To stay. And you left. I asked you today and you refuse. Why don’t you just tell me that you have a limit to how much you want me? That what keeps you from me isn’t some false sense of not belonging, but of notwantingto belong? Not to me.”
He got up slowly and reached for his trousers. He put them on, taking the time to calm himself before he said, “That isn’t true.”
“No?” she said. “Funny how it feels true to me.”
“I’m trying to protect you,” he said softly.
She shook her head sadly, and began to walk away. “You’re protecting yourself. Good night, Asher. I assume you can see yourself out, just as you saw yourself in.”
She walked into her sitting room then and he heard the outer door shut behind her. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. This was not how he’d wanted this night to go. He’d come here to talk to her, to help her if he could.
Making love to her had been a surprise. This end to their night was a frustration. He wanted to go after her, to explain the truth she didn’t understand. To tell her why he’d left all those years ago, to explain what he felt and why what he felt couldn’t decide what he did when it came to her.
But he didn’t do anything of those things. He just finished getting dressed and he left the house as silently as he had entered it. In the end, some things were better left unsaid. For her.
And for him.
Chapter Fourteen
“It may be book code,” Dane mused.
Asher jerked his head up from the figures he was analyzing and forced himself to focus on his friend. They sat in Stenfax’s parlor together, each going over their pieces of the puzzle. Only Asher knew his head wasn’t in the game.
It was with Felicity. It had been with Felicity for the twelve hours since he’d left her bed the night before. He hadn’t slept in that time, only tortured himself with memories and regrets.
