Stenfax looked up at their mother in surprise and Felicity did the same. She had no idea why Lady Stenfax looked so pale. She had always been flighty, but this was something more than that.
“Yes,” Stenfax said as he got to his feet. “You are correct, of course, Mama. If the gentlemen will join me in the billiard room.”
“And we shall retire to the east parlor,” Elise said, also giving Lady Stenfax a strange look before she motioned the women toward the door.
Felicity stood slowly and glanced down the table at where Asher was rising. Their eyes met again and he didn’t break the hold of their stare even as he pushed his seat in and backed toward the men.
Finally, it was she who turned away, the intensity between them too much. She followed the others down the hallway and to the parlor, though she hardly saw anything or anyone in the room. She was too busy thinking of Asher and his kiss.
There was so much pain in her heart at present, so many memories that haunted her. But when Asher finally kissed her, all that had bled away and for a brief moment she’d been at peace.
Perhaps that drew her in as much as any other desire for him. That blissful silence in her mind when he touched her.
“Felicity?”
She jumped as Elise touched her arm and looked up at her friend with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. Just woolgathering.”
Elise slid an arm through hers, taking her for a turn around the outside parameter of the room. “You seem to have been doing that a lot at supper.”
Felicity sighed. “I suppose I was. It was rude of me, I apologize.”
“No need for it. I understand how difficult things are right now with the book hanging over your head and Asher here to complicate things.”
Elise cast a glance toward Lady Stenfax, who sat in the middle of the room with Celia and Rosalinde. Whatever had been troubling her at supper seemed to have passed, for she was now smiling and seemed normal.
Felicity pursed her lips. “Mama was odd with him, wasn’t she?”
Elise followed her gaze. “A bit.”
“But then sometimes her moods are a bit hard to read,” Felicity said.
Elise shot her a side glance. “Something you inherited, I think.”
Felicity slowed her walking pace and sighed. “I’m certain I have no idea what you mean.”
Elise turned toward her and leaned closer, to keep their conversation private. “What is between you?”
Felicity froze, for she knew exactly what Elise was referring to, even if she shrugged. “Between who?”
Elise’s eyebrow arched slowly. “You and Asher.”
Felicity swallowed hard. This wasexactlywhy she’d been avoiding him. When she was with him, it was like someone cut open her heart for everyone to see. She couldn’t hide herself the way she normally could.
And that was a bad thing.
“Nothing,” she whispered, the lie coming off her tongue easily though it didn’t sound genuine.
Elise touched her hand. “You still don’t trust me?”
Felicity shut her eyes. For years, shehadn’ttrusted her best friend. In fact, she had despised her because she didn’t understand why Elise had turned away from Stenfax. Those years had been lonely without a friend.
They’d begun to reconnect in the weeks since the truth came out and Elise married Stenfax at last. But Elise still didn’t fully understand.
“I-I haven’t trustedanyonefor long time,” she whispered. “But if I don’t trust you, it isn’t because of what happened with Lucien. It isn’t because it’s you.”
“Then why?”
“Because I’m not the same person I was…before,” she admitted. “I don’t fit anymore. I see Gray with Rosalinde and Celia with John and you with Lucien, and I see how happy you all are. It makes me happy, but it also pushes me away farther and farther. Because my life is not ever going to be like that. It can’t be.”
