“Good.” He leaned in and kissed her again. She tried with all her might to sink into it, but couldn’t manage it. He didn’t seem to notice. “Now I’d love to go into one of Vivien’s rooms and seal the deal properly,” he said, and she stiffened as he reached for her. “But I think I’d like to have you the first time in the home I provide for you. When I know you’re mine.”
She almost collapsed in relief. “Yes. That would be very nice,” she said.
“Excellent. I’ll have my man write up an agreement with terms and send it to your home tomorrow. Begin preparations for your move.”
He caught her in his arms with a laugh and kissed her again, but as Elise clung to him, she fought tears. This was what she’d wanted, planned for, what she needed.
And yet she wasn’t happy in the slightest. And she knew no matter how hard she tried, she never would be. Andthatwas the ultimate punishment for her past.
“Your Grace?”
Elise jerked her face toward her maid, Ruth, and found the young woman staring at her with a strange expression.
“This is good news, isn’t it?” Ruth asked.
Elise blinked. She had just told her charge about her arrangements with Winstead. “Yes,” she said slowly. “There is just much to be arranged. And we must do it quietly so that the Duke of Kirkford doesn’t get wind of it. I cannot imagine he’ll be pleased with my decision.”
She shivered at the thought of what Ambrose would do when he realized she’d taken a lover and it wasn’t him.
Ruth frowned. “I’ll pack as discreetly as possible.”
Elise nodded. “Good.”
She looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was down and her night rail and robe were on. She looked ready for bed, but although she ached from exhaustion, she doubted she would get a wink.
“You—you don’tlookhappy, Your Grace,” Ruth whispered. “I’m sorry if that’s forward.”
“No,” she said with a reassuring glance at her maid. “I-I just didn’t think this is where my life would take me.”
No, she’d had an entirely different future not so very long ago. With Stenfax. If she had married him when she was meant to, by now they would perhaps have a child. His beautiful child.
She bent her head and squeezed her eyes shut to keep the tears from falling. She couldn’t surrender to this pain or it would swamp her, destroy her. She had to be strong because there was no other alternative.
Suddenly there was a great pounding at her door. She jerked her head up and leapt to her feet, facing the barrier. “Who is it?” she asked.
“Let me in, Elise, or I shall kick this bloody door down!”
She gasped. It was the drunken voice of Ambrose, himself, that came from the hall. She exchanged a look of utter terror with Ruth.
“What shall we do?” Ruth whispered.
Elise looked toward the dressing room. “Go out through the adjoining room door. I don’t want him taking out his anger on you.”
“But Your Grace—” Ruth began, eyes wide as saucers.
“Do it,” she insisted, all but pushing her maid toward escape that she, herself, could not take.
The girl did as she’d been told, but shot one last fearful look over her shoulder as she departed. Elise smoothed her robe and said, “Ambrose, I’m unlocking the door. Stop!”
He did not, continuing to pound so hard that the hinges of the door shuddered with each smashing fist. She shook with terror as she moved to the door and turned the key.
The moment she did, he thrust it open, nearly running her down as he rushed inside the chamber. She backed away at rapid speed, looking briefly to the drawer of her dressing table. She had a gun in that drawer. She’d put it there years ago, to guard against her husband when he was in a similar mood to his cousin’s.
Now she was glad she’d never removed it.
“What is it, Ambrose?” she asked.
He stared at her, his gaze sliding over her informal nightgown and hair around her shoulders. He let out a belch before he said, “What do youthinkI’m doing here?”
