“Yes.” Stenfax sighed. “I suppose Gray, especially, fears I will entangle myself in Elise—that woman’sweb again. That I’ll be hurt as I was before.”
“Andisthat your intention?” Celia pressed, truly interested and concerned herself. The last thing she wanted was for Stenfax to be hurt. He didn’t deserve that. He’d never been anything but kind to her and never kinder than when they ended their engagement.
“She hasn’t returned to Society as of yet,” Stenfax said, staring straight ahead. His jaw flexed. “Her mourning period isn’t even over until the fall. But when it is, I have no intention of seeing her. You may report that back if you’d like.”
“I wasn’t asking for your siblings’ interest, but my own,” Celia said. “You and I may not have married, but since our engagement ended I have begun to think of you as a friend.”
He smiled at her. “A friend. I’d like to be your friend, Celia. Sincerely. And I appreciate your worry, as well as that of Gray and Felicity. But it is all misplaced. The Duchess of Kirkford holds no sway over me. She never will again.”
But there was something in his tone that belied his words. Something in his expression, as well. Still, it wasn’t Celia’s place to push him or advise him.
“Now, as your friend, I suppose it is my turn to ask after you,” Stenfax said. “What’s this I hear about the Duke of Clairemont courting you?”
“Seems like your siblings are more a spy for you than me for them,” Celia teased.
“It is in the grapevine, my dear,” Stenfax said, holding up his hands. “Everyoneis raring to tell me how you have found yourself a duke.”
Celia’s lips parted and she turned toward him. “Oh, Stenfax, I didn’t even think how the two situations might look alike to others.”
He shook his head. “No one who matters thinks you threw me over for a duke. I’m certain they would be crowing to me just to see my reaction if you were being courted by a baronet or a shopkeeper, too.”
“Well, ifanyoneis so bold as to suggest that I threw you over for a higher title, they will get an earful frommein retort,” Celia said.
“What do you think of your duke?” Stenfax asked.
She lifted her brows. “Why do you ask?”
“I suppose curiosity as your former fiancé. And some concern as your friend.”
“I-I like him, Stenfax, I really do,” she admitted softly. “You and I, it should have worked, but neither of us felt that attraction, that connection that we should have as intendeds. But with him…” She trailed off with a blush.
“You feel it,” Stenfax said, finishing her sentence. “You needn’t feel badly about that, Celia. It is what I wanted for you when we parted. To find the love you richly deserve. If you have discovered it with Clairemont, then he is the luckiest of men.”
Love. Celia let that word sink into her soul. She’d been avoiding thinking it, saying it, admitting it, but now that Stenfax had, it was like a seal was broken over her heart and she could see the truth.
She loved Aiden.
A thrill worked through her at the realization. One tempered by icy terror. She loved him but she had no idea if he felt or ever could feel the same. Oh, he wrote romantic words to her, he held her gently, he did all the things he should do and that had drawn her in and allowed her to fall in the most wonderful way possible. And yet she still felt a chasm between them she feared she’d never cross.
What if she risked herself and received nothing in return? What if they married and the feelings ultimately only rested on her side of the pillow?
“Why do you look so worried?” Stenfax asked gently.
Celia faced him, trying to keep the fear from her face and the tremble from her hands and voice. “It is…complicatedwith him,” she said slowly. “Sometimes he withdraws and I’m not certain what he thinks.”
“I watched him dancing with you earlier,” Stenfax said. “If it helps, his body language reminded me of Gray’s when he is with Rosalinde. It’s like he’s always looking for a way to lean into you. Or searching for a reason to touch you. He’s been out of Society a long time. Rumor says he kept almost no company during that time. His hesitance may be uncertainty in how to behave, rather than a lack of feeling toward you.”
She leaned forward, catching his hands as relief flowed through her. “Do you think so?”
“But certainly you must discuss this with him. You deserve to know what is in his heart long before you link your life to him forever. Youdeserveto be happy, Celia.”
“Thank you,” she whispered. “So do you.”
He turned his head a little, and she frowned at his wordless denial that he could ever be loved or love again. But her worries about him were tempered by what he’d said about Aiden. The man might very well care as much as she did.
And that made her future look far more bright than it had when she exited the ballroom just a short while ago.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
