The guard moves around me and opens the barrack door, closing it against my heels.
My stomach drops as I take in the sight of tiered rows of wooden-pallet-like bunk beds, bodies in each hair of space. Thestench from within the walls is nothing compared to the smock and handkerchief. All I smell is sickness, waste, and death. The air is stale, but cold, and the moans and coughs echo.
I clutch the clipboard to my chest as my pulse titters me breathless. The pencil trembles against the paper as I begin to call out muffled identification numbers. Each response comes in the form of either a thud from clamoring out of a bed, a groan, or silence. Men drag their weak bodies into the center of the barrack between the rows of bunks, forming a single line in front of me. They’ve done this before.
Hues of gray, green, and yellowing skin could mean more than typhus, but unless someone can’t move or is unwilling to try, they deserve a chance to live. Even if for only another day. I won’t be the person to make that choice for them. Despite what Weyman prefers.
“Do you have bread, water, anything?” the man standing in front of me pleads. “We’re starving to death, not dying of typhus.”
My brows knit together, pain churning through my stomach as I shake my head. “Sorry, no,” I whisper as I mark the man “fit.” “Step to the right please.”
There are more silent men than ones standing in front of me. More “unfit” than “fit.”
I turn the page, starting at the top and call out the next group of numbers, ending with 170501X.
Stefan. That’s his number.
Tears burn the backs of my eyes, watching, waiting to spot him climbing out of his bunk. I keep watching as I inspect the others standing in front of me, hardly paying them much attention as I mark them as “fit”then point to my right where the line is growing. I call Stefan’s number once more, knowing I haven’t called anyone else’s more than once. I’m not sure anyone notices.
Movement to my left catches my eye, spotting a hand flapping against the edge of a bunk.
I get through the remainder of this group as quickly as I can, then move toward the hand. The closer I get, the heavier my heart grows. It’s him, on the second tier. His body contorted like a narrow question mark with a thin blanket half draped over his body. Specks of blood dot his face, mostly around his mouth.What happened?
“She called that number twice!” a man shouts from the line.
The words float around me like bullets aiming for my head. From outside, heels pivot on the snow. Someone is listening. Weyman.
The exterior latch clicks, and a sliver of light skims the floorboards. I stiffen and remain still as if no one can see me unless I’m moving.
“Silence!” Weyman’s voice strikes between the walls. “Don’t distract the woman.” Quiet returns and Weyman’s voice fades into a breathy echo.
I close my eyes and take in a breath, trying to understand why these men would turn on each other when they’re all in the same situation. Desperation. I understand that much.
“Stefan,” I whisper. Names are prohibited here. Knowing someone and helping them isn’t allowed.
His eyes flutter at the sound of his name before he opens his eyes and struggles to focus on my face. Confusion swirls in his eyes. I step onto the ledge of lower bunk, bringing myself closer to him, then pressing the back of my hand to his forehead. No fever. Just skin covered in grime. His lips are cracked and swollen and as he opens his mouth to talk, blood spills out from the corners of his lips. His jaw trembles.
“Ro-e,” he utters, trying to speak my name.
“Shh, don’t speak,” I tell him, brushing my fingertips along his cheek. “Look at me.”
He struggles to lift his eyelids any higher, but it’s enough for me to see unfocused pupils.
“-ei-ure,” he says, his tongue seemingly useless while trying to speak.
“Seizure?” I whisper.
He closes his eyes and nods once.
“Did you bite your tongue?”
He nods again.
“How long ago?” I shouldn’t be asking him questions. Someone is going to hear me, rat me out again.
“-o-ay…”
“I don’t know—” I’m not sure what he’s trying to say. “It’s all right. I need you to focus on me. Take some deep breaths, try to calm your mind.”
