“I haven’t been by your house because you’re a taken woman. It would be inappropriate to stop by as much as I used to,” he finally says.
“Taken? I’m not taken by anyone, and that’s a silly reason.”
Danner clasps his hand around my shoulder to stop me from walking. I already know what he’s going to say, though. “You and Otto are dating. You’re together, and that calls for a bit of distance between you and other men,” he states.
“We were together. I guess you and I haven’t had a proper conversation in a while.”
“You aren’t together now? What happened? I thought everything was perfect.”
I appreciate that he’s able to make such a statement without cynicism, because I might not have been so mature if I were in his shoes, and he was with Gerty. But that’s neither here nor there because we are by law, incompatible.
“Well, when my nursing classes began a couple months ago, I became overwhelmed with the workload, and all the while, he wanted to spend all his free time with me. I guess he doesn’t need to study as hard as I do.” Maybe he’s studying more now, at least. “Anyway, I told him I need to focus on classes right now. We still see each other every day but the ‘together’ part is on hold until I can get a handle on the amount of homework and studying I have.”
Or that’s what I’ve told myself. It was all too much to balance at once. I thought I might suffocate. I glance over at Danner, wondering why he’s so quiet and unresponsive to what I’m saying, but there’s another hint of a smile. I think he’s desperately trying to hide this one.
“You’re the smartest woman I’ve ever met, Emi, and I know you will always make the right choices in life.” I don’t think he was thinking that when Otto and I were together for those few months, but he said otherwise.
“I don’t know about that, but I think it’s important to focus on this opportunity with nursing school. I don’t want to risk getting kicked out before I’ve made it through the first year.”
Danner scuffs his shoes against the freshly fallen leaves and hums with thought. “Well, whoever ends up in your caring hands will be better off after. The world needs a nurse like you.”
“I hope so,” I tell him. We continue to walk further into the settlement of trees and the silence grows for a short minute. “Danner, did you just stop by to let me talk your ear off?”
He lets out a heavy sigh, one that sounds full of relief. “No, but you know I’d listen to you for hours before you realized you’ve been doing all the talking.” Finally, a real smile to admire, one with pearly whites, and all. He was the friend with all the jokes, the infectious laughter, and the person who I couldn’t help but smile at. Then, his voracious personality began to fade, alongside the acceptance of Jewish people in this country. I know the real Danner is still there, buried beneath layers of fear.
“You listen better than anyone I know, but you know I can stay quiet long enough to listen too, right?”
Danner screws his lips to the side and shakes his head. “I don’t know about that…”
His comment garners a nudge from my elbow to his waist. “So then…what did you want to talk about?”
Sun beams break through the branches in front of us, pinning us in a blinding spotlight. I hold my arm above my forehead to shield my eyes, wondering why he’s been quiet again for more than a long breath.
Danner’s hand seems to fly out of nowhere, wrapping around my elbow to pull me out of the direct light and behind one of the larger trees so we can see each other in the shadow. “Emi, my mother received a letter.”
“From your father?” I ask, hoping that’s what he’s going to say.
He drops his shoulders following a sharp grimace. “I’m afraid not.”
“Then, who from?”
Danner tilts his head to the side, his eyes lingering on mine as he takes his time putting his words together. The pause makes my stomach twist and turn in pain. “The Third Reich has decided to force all Germans with Polish blood to return to Poland.”
“Polish blood?”
“My grandparents on my father’s side and my grandmother on my mother’s side are all Polish, and I guess it wasn’t a secret from the government.”
I place my hand over my eyes, bewildered. “Wait, so…you’re saying—you’re moving out of Munich?”
Danner shrugs and puffs out his chest. “It’s not by choice. We aren’t even sure where we’ll go when we get there, but they made it clear that we shouldn’t plan on returning.”
All the blood in my body rushes to my chest and my limbs tingle into a cold numbness. “I—but you can’t—” without another passing thought, tears spill from my eyes.
I can’t be here without him. We’ve always been here together.
“I don’t want to go, Emi.”
“Then don’t,” I cry out, my statement reckless, knowing none of us has a say in anything anymore.
