“I’m the same way,” Lokelani says. “Also, I hope you don’t mind that I helped around here a bit while you were overseas. Your father and brothers were helpless it seemed. Then, with their staggering deployments, I couldn’t help myself. I knew you would want your family cared for. I remember you told me it was your biggest concern before leaving.”
My gaze falls to my fidgeting fingers as I silently thank mom for sending all of us who we needed when we needed them. Although Lewis is alone, he isn’t the type to need another person to make him happy. He is content with being around happiness, just like Mom was.
I offer Lokelani a gentle hug, careful not to squish her growing belly. “How far along are you?” I ask.
“Twenty-two weeks,” she says, beaming with a smile from ear to ear.
“I can’t wait to meet my niece or nephew. What a wonderful surprise to come home to.” I turn in the last direction I haven’t paid attention to yet. “And you, Miss, what do you have to say for yourself?”
Audrey all but nearly pummels me to the ground as she slams into me with a force full of a thousand hugs saved up over the few years. “I’m so thankful we’re both alive and here. I’m so thankful, Lizzie. These have been the longest years of my life, and I can’t believe we’re together in the same room, finally.”
“Yeah, yeah, I missed you too, but um, who’s the charming fella standing behind you?”
Audrey’s cheeks burn red as she dances around in a little circle to grab the gentleman by the arm. “Lizzie, this is Pierre Lucas. We met when my unit docked off the coast of Monaco. He was delivering goods to our crew, and well—”
“Ooh-la-la,” I gush with the worst French accent I can muster. “Well, what is it?” Excitement fills my chest for the first time in a very long while.
“I guess love at first sight is a real thing,” she says, shrugging her shoulders against her shy smile.
Pierre reaches out for my hand. “Bonjour, Mademoiselle. Is a pleasure to ah—make your acquaintance.”
“Excuse me,” I say, pulling my hand from Pierre’s. “What is that gorgeous, sparkling rock on your hand?”
“Lizzie, Pierre asked me to marry him.” I wring my arms around Audrey’s neck squeezing her with all my might, feeling an abundance of happiness for my closest friend.
Then, a brick falls into the pit of my stomach as I witness the warm affectionate smile grow along Pierre’s cheeks as he watches our shared excitement.
“Gosh, I am blown away by all of this,” I tell them. “This is—well this is so swell. I can’t believe all that I have been missing out on. Will you excuse me for a moment? I just need to use the restroom to powder my nose.”
I try to take slow breaths, in and out, telling myself everything is okay, and sometimes life works out in funny ways, but it isn’t always full of big band swing music and long days by the shore. Sometimes we must put ourselves aside and just show happiness for others, which I am. I am so glad for all of them and their joy.
The moment I close the bathroom door, I slide down against the wood molding until I reach the glossy tiles. Tears flow freely like a burst pipe that had been holding in way too much for far too long. I cry until my lungs burn, my head aches, and my chest sinks in toward my back. I don’t know if this is the way I will always be, a cheery face with a fake smile to hide the truth inside, or if I’m going to adjust and find my place here again. I suppose it’s something I won’t know until life unfolds one day at a time.
* * *
My family allowed me to sit on the bathroom floor for three straight hours until there was a knock. We only have one bathroom, and I should have picked a better place to fall apart. I open the door, finding the house empty except for Dad and Lewis.
“Let’s listen to some music and take it easy,” Lewis says as Dad pulls me out of the bathroom to switch places with me.
50
July 1945
My hand tremblesas I attempt to form a straight line along the curves of my lips with the red, waxy crayon that makes my eyes glow like the color of hazelnuts. It’s taken me a few days to get my bearings and put away all my belongings, and I feel better except for missing the leading male actor of what feels like a movie that lasted far too long.
I’ve tried to call Everett several times over the last few days but there hasn’t been an answer at his father’s house, or at least the number Dad had gotten for his father’s house. I’ve gone as far as contacting his former captain to see if he had a different way to reach him, but he said he would get back to me if he could find out anything regarding his whereabouts. I hate that the answer must always be patience because I have run out of whatever that is supposed to mean.
“Are you ready?” Dad asks, poking his head in through my open bedroom door.
“I think so.” I wish Maggie or Isabel were here to join me. Heck, I might even settle for Beverly now that she’s seen ‘the light’ as she described after being stitched up. The commencement speech a commander is giving today has something to do with the 2nd evacuation hospital, so it doesn’t feel right attending without my unit. We’ve all gone back to our families, though. At least Audrey will be there standing next to me as an Army nurse, too.
Lewis and Dad are both in their dress greens, and in their natural state of being quiet and reserved as they wait for me to walk out the door first. “Even after being in the Army for three years, it still feels like you two, or three, when James is here, follow me around like personal guards. Does it ever get old?” I ask.
“Yes,” Lewis says with a snicker.
“Never,” Dad follows.
Lewis opens the passenger side door for me to slide in and bows his head to duck into the backseat. There was a time when I could never claim a seat in the front because of the sheer amount of bickering between James and Lewis. Of course, they would both squeeze in and there was no point in trying to find a place up there with them. The back seat has always been a nice quiet place to stare out the window. I wouldn’t mind it much now either, but I suppose we’re all a bit old for arguing over who sits where.
