“Well, look for yourself. It looks like a flying elephant.” I swallow hard and peer back up at the white puffs, finding a long trunk and floppy ears like Dumbo. The film came out the year I met Everett, and I figured that was the reason he told me that’s what he saw in the sky, but I couldn’t see anything that looked like a flying elephant that day. I thought he was playing along with my silly game of finding objects in the sky.
“I see it,” I tell her.
“Well, I can’t tell you what a flying elephant means, but it isn’t the void you are speaking about.”
“It means something to me,” I whisper.
“The moment you think you can’t take anything more; life has a way of pushing you a little harder before everything falls into place. Trust me. It doesn’t always make sense at the time, but it will someday.”
“Do you think he’s dead?”
Nancy places her hands on my shoulders and squeezes. “Lizzie, when your mom died, what did you feel inside?”
The thought of recalling those moments will not help my current state of mind. “It was as if I had been holding hundreds of balloons and then released them. They almost pulled me with it, but I let them go and watched them fly away until they weren’t visible anymore. It was like I knew she was still there, but I just couldn’t see her. It might not make sense, but it’s the only way I can describe the feeling.”
“I know exactly what you mean, but look at me, sweetie, I know for a fact that you are still holding onto those balloons for Everett, which means in your heart, you know he’s still alive. Lizzie, I don’t know much, but I know my gut is more honest with me than any word I’ve ever heard,” she says.
Part of me wishes she wouldn’t offer me false hope. The other part wants to take what she is saying and hold on to it with dear life. “It seems impossible to assume he’s okay. It’s been almost three months.”
“Don’t give up yet,” she says.
Nancy places a kiss on my temple and walks back toward her assigned tent.
I take in the deepest breath I can and return to my patients for the remaining two hours until my shift is over.
* * *
It’s hard to walk out of the tent before dusk, knowing I’m leaving these men in their battered condition. It feels as though I’m abandoning them sometimes, even though someone else is taking my place, but I leave them all with a smile and a promise to return tomorrow, hoping it’s enough to keep them going through the night.
The walk between my medical tent and the tent we sleep beneath is just across the field from each other. The path is just long enough to take in a few breaths of fresh air and to convince myself I’m hungry enough for whatever food they’re offering tonight.
A convoy of US vehicles skids over the dirt lot, forcing anyone in its path to freeze with wonder. “American POWs—we need hands,” one of the soldier’s shouts from his open window.
Men are running from every direction to help the five vehicles I’m facing. I’m frozen, unable to breathe, blink, or think straight. Someone is walking toward me; the shadow of a man is all I can make out. I turn to look behind me, wondering if there is someone else this person is looking for, but they are heading in my direction.
With the sun falling behind the horizon, there is a sharp glare and until the man is directly in front of me, I didn’t know I was staring at Lewis. I cup my hands over my mouth and fall into his arms. “What—you’re here—how—”
“Shh, shh. Come on. Come with me.” Lewis helps me over to the nearest tent where there are rows of cots lined up for the troops.
“You’re here,” I say again.
“I’ve been here, kiddo, just offshore. Are you in one piece?” Lewis kneels and pushes me away from him like he did when I was much smaller than him as a child. “You’re not hurt, are you?”
“No, not physically,” I mutter. “Lewis, I thought I was stronger. I thought I could do this, but I want to go home.”
“Everyone feels that way during combat,” he says.
“I think Everett is—”
“He’s not. We have him.”
“What?” I squeak with the remainder of sound I have left in my voice.
“He’s not in good shape, Lizzie, but I think we got him in time.”
I turn, ready to run for him, with no idea where to look, but I need to be where he is. “Take me to him. Lewis, take me there, please.”
“Lizzie, stop.”
