January 1942
The airport:a place of hellos and goodbyes.
I thought the days would go by in a blink this past week, but they crawled by, minute to minute, and hour to hour—every second consumed with “what ifs.” There were moments when I thought someone might reach out and tell me they made a mistake in assigning me orders, or that I wasn’t skilled enough to take part in something so prestigious, but none of that happened. I’m here at the airport, preparing to say goodbye to my family, Audrey, and Everett, and I don’t know when I’ll see them again, or if I will see them again? It’s part of one of my “what ifs.”
Dad is not good with goodbyes. He never has been. It’s always quick, gutting, and we move on, but that’s only been for when he’s leaving on a deployment. He isn’t any stronger when Lewis or James ever leaves either. His love for us runs deep, and seemingly painful sometimes.
“Listen to me, kiddo, don’t let anyone give you crap. Keep your head up, your mind straight, and do what you’re good at doing,” James tells me.
“Talking?” I joke.
“Maybe you could try to do a little less of that in this case,” he continues.
It isn’t often when James acts sensitive to anything, except recently, he seems to have found himself a weakness named Lokelani. It’s like someone turned on a lightbulb and he can suddenly understand the inner workings of a woman’s brain. One might think after living with his sister for twenty-one years he’d have it figured out, but it took this woman to make him see straight. She is one of the sweetest, gentlest people I have ever met, and I don’t know what she sees in my brother, but I hope she feels the same way about him. “And you, James, don’t mess up with Lokelani. I like her and I’m glad we got the chance to meet. She’s incredible.”
James’s cheeks brighten into a scarlet hue, and it might be the first time in history I have embarrassed my brother. I will call it a win.
“I’ll try,” he says. “Take care of yourself, Lizzie. I’ll miss you. Don’t forget to write. You know the rules.”
“I know the rules. Once a week or someone is coming after me,” I say repeating the words Dad has always said to James and Lewis before they take off for a mission.
James gives me a quick wink and squeezes the air out of my lungs with his bear claws.
Lewis is next and I can already see a red stain forming within the whites of his eyes. He won’t cry, but he will come close to sucking back a tear if need be. “I don’t know how this is even happening right now,” he says. “I’m going to miss you so much.”
Lewis repeats James’s motion of embracing me to where I gasp for air. He’s shorter on words than James when he’s hurting or upset. I assume Dad’s speech will be even shorter.
Before I have the chance to look in his direction, his arms are already around me and he buries his face into my shoulder. “Please come home in one piece, Elizabeth. Please. I have faith in you, in everything you put your mind too. Just don’t let your heart impede your head and you’ll be fine. You understand?”
“I do,” I mutter, feeling the heaviness in my chest bear down against my aching heart.
“Those letters, Elizabeth. Don’t you dare forget, and if you can call me, you call me, at work or at home—whenever possible.”
If I open my mouth to talk, a sob might escape, so I swallow the lump in my throat and nod my head. Dad turns his cheek and kisses my temple. “God, I love you so much, sweetheart. I’m proud of you. Never forget.”
As if a bolt of lightning strikes us both, Dad walks away and is out of sight, escaping from a heart-wrenching scene. Lewis gives me a quick wave and follows in the direction Dad must have gone.
“Love you, kid,” James says, turning to follow Lewis.
I didn’t think this could get much worse, but Audrey is in a mess of tears and I can’t make out a word of what she’s saying as she throws her arms around my neck. “Tell me if you find someone for me out in Massachusetts. Maybe it’ll entice me to come out there to keep an eye on you,” she mumbles through her choking cries.
I laugh at her pathetic sounding statement. “I promise to keep an eye out for eligible bachelors that are suitable for you.”
Everett clears his throat to remind me of his proximity and likely the words about keeping my eye open for other men. He’s smiling, but it’s an act I can see right through.
“Love you, Lizzie,” Audrey moans. Everett hands her a handkerchief, and she scuffles off toward the exit.
I’m not sure my heart can take much more right now, but it’s buckling, bringing me to a new level of weakness. “Come on, I’ll walk you to the gate.”
I want Everett to come with me. I’ve changed my mind. I want to settle down, get married, and have a family. I’ll cook, clean, and do what I’m supposed to do if it means staying with him.
My thoughts come and go as we pass another Army Nurse Corps recruiting sign with the words, “We Need You” written in sharp red letters. The message is loud and clear. I’m not housewife material—I’ve been preparing for more, more than I think I can handle.
“I don’t think I have ever heard you this quiet, Lizzie. In fact, you’re so quiet, I think I hear the words screaming through your head.” I glance over at the green eyes I adore, giving him my best doe-eyed stare back. “Don’t do that. You’ll crush me too.”
“Don’t do what?” I ask, playing along.
“Don’t look at me like I’m breaking your heart.” At this moment, I’m the heartbreaker.
