After a lazy stroll around the shop, I stop by the checkout counter. “Thank you for your time, Mr. Jones. I hope you have a lovely day,” I offer before lowering my sunglasses down to my nose.
“You, as well, young lady. Thank you for the pleasant chat.”
It seems I’ve lallygagged around long enough this morning, leaving me with just enough time to make it back to Audrey’s house for tea. I hoist myself up on the banana seat of my bicycle and stroll by the endlessly long lines of men waiting to enlist, wishing I could put the thoughts in the back of my mind for just a short while, but no matter where I look, there is a reminder of war at every corner and on every street. There is no way to fool myself into thinking everything is normal again.
I pull into Audrey’s driveway and settle my bicycle next to hers alongside the garage. I smooth out the wrinkles in my dress and pull my compact out from my purse to check my makeup and hair. Lately, when I see my reflection, I feel like I’m staring at a stranger lost in the middle of two worlds. I don’t know how long I’ll feel this way, but the unsettling stress is causing puffy shadows beneath my lashes that I can’t seem to conceal with makeup. We are all tired and worn out, but it would be nice to see a light at the end of this dark tunnel. I know there won’t be such a thing for a long time, though.
I tap my knuckles against the storm door of Audrey’s house. Within seconds, she opens the door and welcomes me inside. Our hug feels flimsy today, as if it’s something we’re supposed to do rather than want to do. “I just put the water on the burner. It should just be a few minutes,” she says.
“It’s okay. I didn’t come for the tea. I’m here to see you, silly.”
“Of course,” she says. “Can I take your gloves and sweater?”
I slowly peel my gloves off, one finger at a time, then remove my sweater, all while trying to understand the chill I’m getting from Audrey’s demeanor.
“This doesn’t feel right,” I tell her after she hangs up my sweater and places my gloves down neatly on their entryway table.
“What do you mean?”
I perch down on her sofa, a pronounced stiffness in my back is surely proof of my discomfort with our encounter but I’m not sure she’s feeling much better, certainly not enough to respond truthfully.
“Well, I’m already aware of your feelings toward my life decisions as of late, but we have always supported each other, and this tension feels more like anger than fear or disappointment. Aside from enlisting in the Army Nurse Corps, did I upset you?” Audrey has often been the type to need space when she’s upset. She spins through a cycle of dissecting whatever is bothering her, and until she comes to terms with the situation, she keeps her thoughts to herself. This feels like more, though. It seems to grow worse and worse and has been over the last few months. I was sure she had gotten over my relationship with Everett. She seemed to accept everything once Dad found out, despite his anger of my attempt at keeping Everett a secret.
“I’m not sure how to explain my feelings, Lizzie,” she says, taking a seat beside me. We both twist to face each other and when I look into her eyes, I see a flicker of desolation. “Life is changing so fast and I’m having a hard time keeping up, I suppose.” Audrey’s gaze falls to her folded hands. Her thumbs twiddle back and forth as she pauses between her statements. “First, it was Everett and the stress of keeping a secret that could land you in trouble, and there was little time between your Dad finally learning the truth and then the attack on Pearl. Without a minute to catch our breaths after that, you enlisted in the Army Nurse Corps. Before we know it, you’ll be moving away from Hawaii.”
I didn’t consider Audrey’s attitude toward me to be stemming from grief. “You know, no matter where I end up or go, we’re always going to be best friends, Audrey. We can call each other or write letters, and of course I’ll come home. My family is here, and that includes you.”
Audrey drops her hands to her lap with silent exasperation. “It just won’t be the same anymore. I realize I have been so focused on becoming a nurse that I have no other friends or prospects in my dating life. And of course, these are all very selfish comments, which is why I have tried to keep quiet about it all, but I’m sad, worried, and scared that you won’t be here anymore. We’ve always been like peas and carrots, you know? I guess I’ve been trying to distance myself, so it won’t be so bad when you leave.”
Audrey and I have certainly grown up differently than others, living here on base. People come and go so often that it’s rare to have a friend stick around for as long as we have for each other. “We will always be close, Audrey. Nothing can take that away from us. No man, no war, and no job.”
A small smile presses into Audrey’s cheeks, but the moment of reassurance is concealed by the brassy whistle from the teapot. Audrey hops up from the sofa and tends to the kettle, preparing our two cups. “Could I help?” I offer.
“No, no, I’m all set. Would you like biscotti?”
“Yes, please, that would be lovely.” Audrey places the teacups and saucers down on the coffee table in front of the sofa before reclaiming her seat within the indent she left behind. “Have you considered joining the Army Nurse Corps?” I’m sure her reaction toward me joining is the answer to this question, but I’m curious if she has given the idea any thought.
“I have, in fact,” she says. “But what are the chances of us being stationed in the same place?” I feel blindsided by her question. It’s the last thing I expected to hear. “Oh, I honestly have no clue how or when this all happens. I haven’t heard a peep since I filled out my paperwork a few weeks ago. I wasn’t aware you were even considering this path. Why haven’t you mentioned it to me?” Aside from the fact that we have spent little time together, I would think she might have made a point of bringing it up.
“I’m still struggling with the idea,” she says. “Part of me thinks if we were together, I could protect you if times get tough, but after growing up here on the base and seeing all the comings and goings, I’m sure the chances are slim we would end up together.”
“Protect me?” I question. “That’s not the reason you should consider the Army Nurse Corps, Audrey.”
Audrey forces a pause in our conversation as she lifts her teacup and gently blows at the steam before taking a small sip. I do the same for the sake of not staring at her with the million questions running through my mind.
“Lizzie, do you listen to the radio or read the papers? For a girl who has always had her nose in a book, I find it hard to believe you don’t see the danger you are potentially facing.”
“Wherever I end up, which may be nowhere near Europe, it’s because I want to help the wounded and ill. I didn’t enlist to start a motion about Jewish Americans,” I argue.
“There is an abundance of anti-Semitism growing across the globe, Lizzie. It’s the worst in Europe. They have tagged every Jewish person with a yellow star patch and have prohibited them from working or leaving their country. It’s beyond anti-Semitism. What if someone were to find out you are Jewish? Would they be able to find out you are Jewish? Do you know the answer to this because I’m guessing you do not?”
I take a moment to process her question and straighten the scarlet tapestry pillow between us. “How would someone find out I’m Jewish?” I reply, sounding as hostile as I feel inside.
“Without intending to be offensive, your last name is easy to decipher its origin, and if someone were to look hard enough, there is religious information on your personal records. It wouldn’t be difficult to figure out.”
Knowing my last name deciphers my ethnic background has never been something to bother me or make me think it could cause an issue. “Maybe I’ll just have to change my last name,” I chide.
“If I wasn’t already clear on the rules for enlisting in the Nurse Corps, I might think you are crazy enough to run off and marry Everett while you have the chance, but we know that isn’t an option. Therefore, changing your last name isn’t either. Lizzie, you need to be realistic about what I’m saying. This is a dangerous situation you have put yourself in.”
