“I’m giving you my life. What else do you want from me?” I ask, wrapping my arms around my devilish wife-to-be.
“Let’s figure life out without tips from a book, okay? The engagement book had great tidbits, but this little gem—forget everything you read in this book, okay?”
“You tricked me,” I told her.
“You tricked me back,” she says.
“Neither of us fell for the trick, Journey.”
“Neither of us is questioning our future together,” she says.
I love her so much it hurts the inside of my chest, and the pain travels down my legs and to my toes. I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else, ever again. I weave my fingers through the back of her hair and kiss her gently, releasing a soft moan against her lips. “I love that we don’t live by anyone else’s rules, and I love that you aren’t afraid to pull a prank on me the morning of our wedding day, but the next time you’re going to pull a prank like that, get your facts straight and don’t get the information from Hannah.”
Journey exhales, and I pull her into my chest, holding her tightly like I always do. “You’re nuts, and I love you for it.”
“I suppose I should start getting ready, huh?”
“For the rest of our lives?”
“I’m ready for that—I’ve been ready for that,” she says.
“Journey, Melody is calling your phone for the four millionth time in twenty minutes. Do you want me to click ‘end call’ again?”
“What? You’ve been clicking ‘end call’? Why do you even have my phone?” Journey calls out to the living room.
“You gave it to me when you said, “Here, watch this, an hour before you thought Dad was actually getting into the shower.”
“You should go call your sister before the matron-of-honor has a heart attack. That would not get the day off to a good start.”
“I didn’t do this to her on her wedding day. I was very laid back and easy-going the entire time.”
“You also did a great job of delegating tasks to all of the other bridesmaids, sweetie. You don’t have any other bridesmaids, so she’s doing everything. Just remember that. She loves you.”
Journey is a handful, but the best kind and I will gratefully hold her next to me for the rest of my life.
19
Marrying Journey wasthe easiest decision I’ve ever made, and I’ve felt extremely fortunate for the luck I’ve had over the last couple of years. I wasn’t sure how the transition between girlfriend, fiancée, and wife would be while raising a tween to a teenage daughter. There were times when I assumed the worst and imagined the nightmare of what could happen, but after a year of blissful marriage and surviving life with an almost fifteen-year-old daughter, I feel like I might be up for conquering the world.
I’ve been waiting for the day when Hannah might hate me a little less, but nothing has changed with her attitude or mood swings since my divorce with Kristy. I’m beginning to wonder if the trauma of our family splitting up did permanent damage to her psyche, and if it did, how to fix it. I might be surviving life with a teenage daughter, but I fall asleep every night wondering what I’m doing wrong and how long before Journey becomes tired of the constant battles in the house. She tries to keep her thoughts to herself when Hannah is causing a scene, but I can tell she wants to jump in and help me. When Hannah isn’t sitting with us, we have long discussions about how to resolve the issues, but I worry about the life Journey has had to become accustomed to.
I’ve decided to set up an appointment for Hannah to start meeting with a psychiatrist per her therapist's suggestion. She’s fought me on the subject for the last couple of years, but I feel it’s time to force the severity of these issues before turning a wrong corner we can’t come back from. Thankfully, I found someone quickly, and she had an opening due to a cancellation. Hannah didn’t say much after the initial appointment, but per the psychiatrist, we’re all supposed to attend the second session, including Journey. The pit in my stomach is real as we drive over to the office park. What if Hannah wants to tell Journey she wishes she wasn’t in her life? It’s not that she’s hinted at that, but Hannah retreats into herself, much like Journey does when she’s upset—unless she wants to voice her anger about something. Then she turns into a monster.
Journey said there’s nothing to worry about, and she can handle whatever happens during this meeting. She understands Hannah in a way that I don’t, but I’m not sure why. I know Journey can be moody and connects with Hannah on that level, but I feel like I’m living on another planet than the two of them sometimes. I guess that’s where the whole Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus thing comes from. It makes sense now.
Hannah has her earbuds in, and Journey is staring at me with silent thoughts as I lift the truck’s gear into park. “You don’t have to do this,” I tell her again.
“Brody … without sounding cocky, I am a part of this family, and the therapist asked for us to both be here. I’m not going to sit this out because what Hannah might say. That would defeat the whole purpose of therapy. I can handle it and her. You don’t have to worry about me. I was just like Hannah at her age. I got this.”
“Well, at least I know you turned out well …”
“Is that how you see me?” Journey asks.
“I see you in a way I don’t want to see my daughter, but uh—well, you know what I mean.”
Journey shakes her head and opens the door. I twist around in my seat and glance over at Hannah, who is focused on her phone. I wave in her direction to grab her attention, and she pulls her earbuds out and silently steps out of the truck.
Silence. It’s what I get the most from her these days.
