“Journey, you’re going to slip,” Brody says, reaching for my arm.
I pry the object out from between the rocks, staring down at the dirt-covered metal. It’s a keychain, attached to another keychain in the shape of a G-Clef. These are Adams. “Oh, my God.”
“What does it say?” Brody asks, still trying to pull me up from where I’m crouched.
I rub my thumb over the circular metal keychain, revealing etched letters. After cleaning the dirt off, I hold the metal under the light of the moon and read the words:
“It’s better to have loved,
then have never loved at all.”
Best friends first.
Best friends always.
My hands shake as I read and re-read the words Adam had hanging from his keys. I hold the rusted pieces against my chest and shudder through a silent cry. Those rocks can take the bourbon, but it can’t take me too.
“I need to go see Adam,” I tell Brody.
“Of course,” he says, helping me up from the rocks I’m on.
“Thank you for not giving up on me.”
“How could I give up on someone who has proven the meaning of holding on and never letting go?”
My mind is in a haze throughout the drive to the nursing facility, and I know it’s late and probably shouldn’t be visiting at this hour, but I need Adam to have this.
Brody follows me silently as we make our way through the building and up to the third floor, finding Adam awake and watching Top Gun, which brings a smile to my face. “Yes!” Brody says as we walk in. “How’s it going, Goose?”
A small smile appears on Adam’s lips, responding to Brody, but I need his attention.
“I know it’s late, but I found something tonight. I think it belongs to you.” I hold the keychain up in front of Adam’s face, and he reads the words then slowly glances toward me. It takes a minute, but his eyes fill with tears. “I’m sorry I didn’t want to upset you. I just—I needed to give this to you.” I grab a tissue and blot his eyes.
“Always,” Adam whispers through bits of air.
“Adam?” I shout. He just spoke. “Oh my God, did you just say something?”
Brody rushes to my side. Adam smiles again. “Always friends,” he whispers. “This was never your fault.”
I feel like I’m dreaming. I didn’t think Adam would speak again. He’s been working with a speech pathologist for years, but he’s never said anything. Adam closes his eyes and swallows hard as if it was painful to make the slightest sound, but he smiles again and takes in a deep breath.
Brody places his arm around me and squeezes my shoulder.
This was never your fault.
The only person I needed to hear this from is the only person who could never speak those words, until now.
“Live for me,” Adam mutters through another breath without opening his eyes.
I nod even though he can’t see me. My throat feels tight and swollen from the overwhelming emotions running through me.
“I will,” I finally say. “Get some rest, Adam. I’ll see you in a couple of days.”
I place the keychain down on his nightstand and leave the room that has offered me the selfish peace I have pleaded for.
As we make our way back to Brody’s truck, he places a kiss on the top of my head. “That was some bourbon,” he says.
The pain in my chest subsides, the tightness in my limbs weakens, and my pulse slows to a steady pace.
