“Well, some of the best friendships turn into more, but it takes time to grow,” I tell her.
“It makes sense,” she says, picking her pencil back up. “I’m learning about the water-cycle and it’s really boring.”
I don’t know if I dodged a bullet, but it feels like it for the time being.
The hour goes by rather quickly as I re-learn the facts about the water-cycle so I can help her fill out the questions on her homework sheet but just as I hear Brody’s truck pull into the driveway, Hannah closes her science book and looks up at me. “My dad is falling in love with you, but don’t tell him I said so, okay?”
“What?” I giggle. “How do you know something like that?”
“He has a lot of fake smiles and laughs. He got good at them over the last couple years, but lately, he’s been happy for real and I heard him talking to Uncle Brett. He said something like you could be the one.” Hannah shrugs. “So, I figure he must be falling in love with you, right?”
I feel winded as Brody walks into the house and I probably look like I just saw a ghost. “Everything okay?” he asks with wide eyes.
“Oh yeah, we’re great. Hannah just finished her homework. I thought you were ordering pizza?” I ask because he’s holding two boxes.
“The wait was an hour, so I picked them up on the way home.” Brody seems concerned with whatever look must be on my face.
“Hannah, go and wash up for dinner, in your bathroom, please.”
Hannah doesn’t argue. She stands from her seat and heads down the hallway toward the bathroom. “How was the meeting?” I ask, trying to distract him from whatever he’s concerned about.
“Fine. What’s going on? You don’t look right?”
“Nothing is going on. We just finished her homework. Everything was great.”
“You’re lying,” he says.
I drop my gaze down to the table because I am lying. “It’s nothing,” I say, poking my fingernail at a spot of dried food on the placemat I’m leaning on.
“It’s something.”
“Hannah thinks you're falling in love with me,” I say without looking up at him.
“She said that?” Brody asks.
“Yeah. She didn’t seem upset about it or anything, but her comment took me by surprise.”
“I think it takes more than a few weeks to fall in love with someone, but I can see it happening, Journey. We click. It just feels right to me.”
His explanation eases my mind but makes me wonder why there’s apprehension tightening my chest. Love means so many different things to me, but I don’t think I’ve ever been truly in love with someone, even Adam, which leaves me with guilt sometimes. I love him as a person and as the person in my life—what he means to me, but it’s different from the other kind of love. “Things do feel right with us,” I agree. “I’m not worried.”
“Hannah doesn’t know what falling in love means,” Brody says.
“I’m not sure I do either, but I imagine it must start off like this,” I say, glancing back up at him.
23
I learnedabout the process of a divorce at twenty-one years old—an age too young to be married (in my opinion), never mind figuring out a divorce. There was no back and forth or need for mediation. I didn’t have to even see Tucker again, which was for the best. I’m not sure I could face him after what I caused.
Caused.
I kept causing people turmoil. It was never intentional, but why was it so easy to do? My decisions weren’t the greatest, but people are making far worse decisions than me and getting away with much more.
Tucker lived in Maryland when he wasn’t driving trucks, a fact that didn’t concern me until the night in Vegas, and then again when I found out most uncontested divorces take around twelve months if the spouse lives in Maryland. Tucker and I were married for an entire year and never saw each other once.
However, 1.2 million dollars was wired to my bank account during the year. The decision was made on Tucker’s behalf, making sure all equitable assets were split leaving no further hurdles to climb while dissolving our marriage. The money felt dirty. I didn’t deserve it. It didn’t belong to me. It was burning a hole in my pocket, but not for the same reason most might think.
The day I received the bank wire, I tried to put the thought of money out of my head as I went to the nursing facility to visit Adam.
