I walked back into the room and pulled a chair up to Adam’s side, taking his hand within mine as I had done days before to my trek across the country. “I’m so happy you’re awake,” I told him. “I’ve wanted to apologize for so much, but I don’t want you to forgive me. I just want you to know I’m here, and I’ll stay by your side.”
Adam twisted his head ever so slightly and tried to look at me through his peripheral. A tear fell from his eye, and he closed his eyelids, hiding what I could only assume to be pain.
Brody and I pull up to the nursing facility in his truck. “Wow, this place is beautiful,” Brody says.
“Yeah, it’s nice here.”
“This must cost them a fortune. I can’t even imagine.”
“It doesn’t cost them anything,” I tell him.
Brody parks the truck in the guest parking area and steps out, taking my hand as we walk toward the front entrance. “Thank goodness for that.” We walk inside, and Brody takes a minute to glance around at the botanical surroundings, the waterfall, and tastefully decorated open lobby. “I’ve never seen a place like this before. It’s gorgeous.”
It’s a lot better than the first place he was in.
“Yeah, the staff is great here, too,” I tell him.
“Okay, what room is he in?” Brody pulls in a sharp breath as if he’s nervous. The bag from Walmart crinkles in his hand, and he takes another look around.
“He’s in room 303. No one should be in there right now. His family is at a therapy appointment for the next hour.” I point toward the elevator, feeling the nerves flicker through my stomach. “I’ll wait over here by the fountain.”
Brody gives me a quick peck on the lips and walks off. My mind is spinning, wondering if this is a bad idea, praying it’s not. I shouldn’t prevent anyone from seeing Adam. It’s not my right, but what if this internally sends Adam through some kind of pain we don’t know about? It would be my fault again.
I scroll through my phone, anxiously watching the minutes pass, but at the twenty-minute mark, I decide I can’t sit here anymore. I need to see what’s going on. I’m quick to make my way to the third floor and stop outside of Adam’s room, hearing Brody talking to him.
“If I had known, I would have visited sooner. There was little talk about what happened that night, which I’m sure you know by now. But, when I ran into Journey recently and found out what had happened, my heart broke. I was an idiot that night. I knew you had just broken up and were there, but I didn’t think twice about what I had done. It shouldn’t have ended the way it did, and if I had known what was about to happen—I know I’m not making any sense right now. I would never intentionally cause anyone pain or worse, and I wish there was something I could do to undo what happened. I’m so sorry, Adam.”
I hear the crackling of the plastic bag Brody has. “Journey said you enjoy watching DVDs, so I grabbed some for you. Maybe they are new ones you haven’t seen yet. I have a good eye for movies so I can help you out with that.” Brody clears his throat as the sound of the bag of DVDs collapses on a hard surface. “I hope it’s okay if I come to visit you. People say I can keep anyone entertained with as much as I talk. I didn’t think it was a good thing to keep hearing, but maybe it could come in handy here.” There’s a moment of silence, and I wonder what’s going on, but then I hear Brody continue. “Is it okay if I continue to visit?”
I turn the corner, wondering if Adam is responding. I’m not sure Brody would know what his blinks mean, and I’m curious to know what Adam is thinking. I walk in, just in time to see Adam blink one time. “That means, yes,” I tell Brody.
I dash across the room, so Adam doesn’t have to wonder why I’m here or if it’s me who’s speaking. “Hey,” I say to Adam, placing a kiss on his cheek.
Adam slowly twists his head to look at me, and I notice a small curve in his lips—the hint of a smile he’s capable of. “I—ah, debated if it was appropriate to bring Brody here to visit you. He didn’t know much about the accident until we ran into each other recently. I hope it’s okay that he’s here?” I know I’m repeating what Brody just asked him, but I needed to repeat the question for my sanity. Adam blinks once again, telling me he agrees.
Adam takes his time to glance over at Brody, then back at me, another arch of his lips perks against his cheeks, and he blinks once. “Oh, no—" I respond, knowing I’m lying, and I wish I could take back my thoughtless response.
Adam blinks once more. I wonder if he understands. Does he see something more than what I think is visible to the naked eye? Would someone who has been trapped in a body for so long want happiness for anyone else? Maybe I’m misunderstanding it all.
“This week has been crazy with work,” I tell Adam. “Oh, and you’ll be happy to know I went to the doctor.” Adam blinks in response. “I’m going to go back to the therapist and nutritionist.” Another blink.
Adam looks over at Brody, staring at him for a moment. I can tell Brody is unsure of what to say, but he tells Adam, “I’m going to make sure she gets better.”
Adam returns his gaze to me and blinks.
I didn’t think I could ever imagine having a conversation full of agreeing and disagreeing blinks, but there’s comfort in knowing Adam can share a small piece of what’s going on in his head. I might not always assume correctly, but I think I understand most of the time.
“Want me to put one of the new DVDs in for you?”
Adam blinks twice, telling me no. The TV isn’t on, so I’m confused since he likes to keep it on. Adam looks toward the bag on the dresser beneath the TV. “Oh, do you want to see the DVDs?” Brody asks him, picking up on his cue before me.
Adam blinks once.
Brody jumps from his seat and takes the stack out of the bag, placing them in a pile to show Adam each one. He shuffles through the stack once, then goes through them a second time, waiting for a hint of which one Adam wants to watch. Adam blinks when Brody holds up Top Gun, a DVD I never thought to purchase.
“Yes, a classic. You have good taste, my man,” Brody tells him. “Maverick?”
Adam blinks twice.
