“Can I watch the Kardashians?”
I playfully slap my hand against his bare chest. “I thought you were joking about your love for that show.”
“Oh, no, I can’t stop watching. It’s a problem,” he says seriously.
“Can I sit with you for a few minutes before I start dinner?”
He seems surprised by my question. I guess it’s not something he should expect out of my mouth, but I’m craving more warmth. “Only if you stay in a towel too.”
We curl up on the couch and pull a blanket over us, and I do something I haven’t done with anyone, ever. I curl my head into the nook between his neck and chest and take a deep breath.
This spot. It feels right.
I wish I had always known the definition of feeling right.
19
I hadn’t understoodwhy Vegas was proclaimed the city that never sleeps, but I quickly learned the reason. They pumped fresh oxygen into the casinos, keeping people awake, and the lighting mimicked daytime. Once inside a building, there was no track of time.
I had never been to a casino, but I was sure the ones in Vegas would ruin any smaller casino I would visit in New England someday. Each hotel was like a piece of art and themed by country. I could have spent months there, losing track of all my worries. I figured I would likely run out of money before a few months were up, but I thought maybe I could win some too. It was that first-time rush of hope. I hadn’t drunk much in the prior two years, but it was my big twenty-one, and I wasn’t driving anywhere. Plus, I had company, and Tucker and I were going on a three-hour streak of non-stop laughter. I wasn’t even sure what we were laughing about, but there was a lightness in my chest, and I felt happy and excited. It was overwhelming after feeling so low and in the dark for such a long time.
“You have officially made me less miserable,” I told Tucker.
“Whatever it takes, let’s keep the night going,” he replied while sliding another twenty-dollar bill into the slot machine. He rubbed his hands together as if warming up his luck and pressed a few buttons, bidding the whole twenty on the most amount of lines. I was sure he would lose in less than a second.
However, the one spin he took won the jackpot, not just a few thousand dollars, but a three and a half million-dollar jackpot. I thought it was a scam or a joke, making us think hehad won, but the sirens were going off, and lights were blaring. People were staring at us in shock.
Us. There wasn’t an us. Tucker put the money in, and Tucker played the machine. We were just out for my birthday celebration, nothing more.
The shock was an understatement. Tucker went pale and couldn’t seem to close his mouth or blink. He spun around in circles until an attendant came to confirm his winnings.
“I’ve been struggling for money my entire life,” he said to me. “I won’t have to drive that damn truck anymore, and it’s all because of your birthday, Journey. Do you see how lucky you are?”
I felt far from being lucky. I kept my happiness for Tucker to a phony smile. It wasn’t my luck. If it was, I would have won something, but I asked myself if money would fix my pain, and I knew the answer before thinking it through completely.
After Tucker met with a financial representative of the casino and filled out the paperwork and tax forms, he was given a portion of the money by check and was told he’d receive the rest in increments on a schedule. The whole process took two hours, but they made us comfortable with more drinks and luxurious accommodations. It was quite a night, even though I’d walk away with nothing.
“I don’t even know what I’ll do with all of this,” he said, sipping on a top-shelf mixed martini.
“I’m sure you’ll find ways,” I told him, taking double the amount of sips he took.
“We should travel the world together,” he suggested.
I realized he was more than likely beyond drunk and speaking nonsense. “You don’t want to travel the world with me,” I told him.
He twisted to face me, bringing his knee up onto the cushion. “Are you kidding? You’re like the coolest chick I’ve ever met. It would be thrilling to travel the world with you.”
The idea didn’t sound horrible. It sounded like a bonus to my plan of running away. “I could be convinced easily,” I said.
“We’re here because of you. I won this because of you. If you hadn’t stopped me on the highway, this wouldn’t have happened, Journey. I think this is some kind of weird fate, and we’re supposed to be together. It just makes sense.”
His words startled me because none of what he said had crossed my mind. Fate? Were we meant to be together?
Something in my head wondered if maybe he was right. Neither of us had a clear direction. He was a good-looking guy, sweet as could be, and easy to get along with. Could the new direction I was looking for in life truly come with fluorescent blinking arrows?
“What are you saying?”
“Let’s just go get married. The money will be ours. We’ll start over, build a life from scratch, and never look back.”
