It had been nearly a year since the accident. Throughout the year, I turned down my scholarship and pulled my admission from UNH. Instead of following my plans, I more or less lived in a chair next to Adam’s bed as he remained in a coma. No one knew if he would wake up, but his parents held onto hope, much longer than the specialists recommended.
Mom and Dad were not happy with my decision but didn’t fight me on it either. They knew I wasn’t going to snap back from what happened. However, they also weren’t aware of the details that led to the accident. Melody was the only one who knew the truth, and she kept the secret without bribery. Our relationship grew a lot that year, making me realize how lucky I am to have a sister who had my back no matter how crappy life got. She sat with me by Adam’s bedside as often as she could, just to keep me company. Those were times I won’t forget.
As time went on, Melody’s life evolved, and she was heading off to college, as she should. However, it meant I was losing my sister—the person keeping me sane on my worst days. She struggled with the idea of leaving, but I forced her to go. I couldn’t hold her back.
About a month after Melody left for college, I was sitting by Adam’s bed, watching a movie about a woman taking a solo road-trip across the country. It was supposed to be a life-changing therapeutic experience. She was running away from different problems than the ones I had, but I felt her happiness in the scenes where she was taking in the world, connecting with nature, and experiencing new emotions while learning to be on her own. She returned a year later as a different person—one who had grown and started a new chapter in her life.
My only debate was whether I should leave Adam’s side. What if he were to finally wake up? I wouldn’t be there. I understood the coma could be a permanent state, but there was still a chance he’d come out of it. The hope for Adam waking up was becoming less likely every day, but his parents were determined to hold onto the small chances, as was I. They promised to call me if anything changed and supported my need to seek the adventure that could somehow fix all the broken pieces in my life.
Mom was not on board with my flighty idea of driving across the country in a crappy car, but Dad was thrilled. He wanted me to have adventures and to see the world. He had been so worried I would crawl into a cave and never come out after Adam’s accident. Somehow, Dad managed to persuade Mom to let me go—to let me fly. Dad closed us into my bedroom and sat down beside me, placing his arm around my shoulders. “There’s something you need to know, sweetie,” he said.
I looked over at him with wonder. “What’s that?”
“You need to take this adventure. You’re meant to do this.”
“Why?”
Dad smiled and crossed his arms over his chest, staring through my closet door as if he was jogging through his memories. “When your mother went into labor with you, we were on a weekend trip in the mountains. You weren’t due for another four weeks. But you made a decision that night, and you were sticking with it.” That sounded like me. “Your mother and I were snowed in on the mountain. We had to call for a rescue to help us. It took almost two hours, but when we arrived at the hospital, we were told there were no free beds and had to travel another hour to the nearest hospital that would have a bed. We had to take a helicopter because of the snowy conditions and the speed, in which, you were coming. Somehow, we made it to the hospital twenty minutes before you were born. It took us almost four hours to get your mother into a bed, but there you were—somehow perfect and even healthy, considering your early arrival.” Dad shook his head as if the thought of what they went through was still unbelievable. “I looked down at you, and I swear you winked back at me. That’s when I knew we had to name you, Journey.” He twisted his body to face me and looked straight into my eyes. “It made perfect sense because you would always be our first real Journey in life.” Dad swept a strand of hair behind my ear and pressed his lips into a firm line as he inhaled sharply through his nose. “I’d rather hold onto you forever and never let you go, but it’s your turn to experience your purpose.”
I felt inspired and motivated to make a change in my life, but I had no clue I would somehow miss that purpose throughout the trip.
Mistake after mistake; it’s what I’ve been known for, and it’s what I fear the most now. “You’re not allowed to feel guilty anymore,” Tracey tells me, placing her hand on my shoulder. “Free yourself from those thoughts and move forward.”
I gently tug at Emi’s pigtail and wave at her, getting ready to leave the conversation I would have avoided like the plague if I thought she would be at the grocery store. “It was nice seeing you,” I tell Tracey.
“If you ever want to talk,” she says. “You know how to find me.”
I lean forward and hug her, silently thanking her for being a good person and a good sister to Adam.
My grocery list disappeared from my head, telling me I should have written down what I needed. I was too flustered to remember even half of what would feed me for the week, so I grabbed the necessities and checked out quickly, needing the comfort of my enclosed space within my apartment.
So much for my Monday being the opposite of what everyone else deems the dreaded day to be. It doesn’t take long to unload the few bags of groceries, which means I can tend to the five messages I missed from my phone after enduring the long sets of buzzes in my back pocket.
The first message is from Melody:
Melody:I might need your help in the shop for a couple of hours today if you can spare the time. Let me know.
The next four messages are from Brody:
Brody:Would you be interested in having dinner with Hannah and me tonight? She's been bugging me to go to this themed restaurant near Burlington.
Brody:Pleaseeeeeee. I think Hannah might try to sell me on the black market if I go alone.
Brody:I’m almost serious.
Brody:You can’t seriously still be sleeping. How lazy are you?
I don’t know how Brody is going to make it until Hannah turns eighteen with the direction their relationship is heading. That girl has every ounce of control over him, which is surprising given Brody’s natural ability to take life by the horns. He’s obviously procreated a smaller version of himself, which is mildly amusing.
Melody only asks for help if she has to go to an appointment or a conflict at the same time Brett has to be out of the distillery, so I try to help out when she asks. It’s the least I can do after giving up my share of the business.
Me:What time do you need me?
Melody:Eleven to one. Would that work?
Me:Sure, I’ll be there just before eleven.
Melody:You’re a lifesaver. Love you!
