She wraps her hand around the one I wasn’t drinking. “Hmm, this one is still warm.” I ignore her assessment, but she walks over to me, stopping two feet from where I’m sitting. Her hand cups around her mouth. “Oh my God.”
“What?”
“You have sex hair,” she says. “And you’ve been smiling. You’ve been smiling hard.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” There is no way to assume someone has been smiling.
Melody smiles at her thought. “Your cheeks are red, and I can see the indents of your dimples. You’re trying to hide the smile.”
“You’re out of your mind,” I tell her. “Can we get going now?”
“Did Brody stay over last night?”
“No,” I tell her, feeling better about not lying this time.
“Hmm. I heard he was late picking up Hannah and Parker this morning. Weird.”
“That is weird.”
“How did you get here without your car last night?” she continues. “Forget it. I know you left Mom’s with Brody. I know exactly what happened, and there’s nothing you can do to change my mind.”
“Well, okay can we get going now?” I ask.
I slip my coat on and meet Melody at the door since she’s still poking her head around every corner of the space in here. “We should totally go on a double date. How fun would that be?” I ignore her as we walk down the steps toward the back of the building. “Mom is already so excited, thinking of the possibilities.”
“There are no possibilities,” I tell her.
“Anything is possible, sis.”
Melody hands me the keys to my Jeep, and we climb in through our respective doors. “Melody,” I begin. “It isn’t possible because moving forward with Brody—of all people—feels like the biggest sin I could ever commit. I didn’t ask for my life to turn out this way, but it did, and when you pretend like everything should be perfect, it makes the pain I feel, worse.”
Melody is quiet for a long minute as we pull out onto the street. “I know what you’re saying and why you’re saying it, and while I never expected Brody to step back into your life, I don’t agree with the part about him being a sin. You need to tell yourself it’s okay to live and be happy.”
I hold my focus on the road, taking in her words, matching them up with advice I’ve gotten from various therapists and former friends, but it’s much easier said than done. “I don’t know,” I tell her.
“What can I do to help?”
Whether the man is Brody or someone I never met before a week ago, I’d feel the same way. Why do I deserve to live a carefree life when I caused the exact opposite for someone else? “There’s nothing you can do,” I tell her.
“What would Dad tell you?” She’s playing on my weakness, and I’m not sure I can answer her question without feeling a fresh tear within my chest.
“To follow my heart,” I answer, trying to move away from the question.
“Then, follow your heart, Journey. I am always here for you.”
I pull into the back parking lot of The Barrel House and shift the gear into park before glancing over at her. “I know you are and thank you for putting up with my moods.” I know I’m difficult to be around, but I can’t find my way out of the deepening hole I keep falling farther into.
“If you find something to smile about, hang onto it, okay?” she asks, leaning to the side to hug me.
Melody hops out of the Jeep, and I watch to make sure she gets in through the back door of the shop before pulling away.
I can only imagine the stories Brett and Melody will share with each other today. If it wasn’t already obvious why two sisters getting involved with two brothers is a bad idea, gossip is the number one reason.
Just as I hit the main road, my GPS pops up with a notification telling me it will take thirty-five minutes to get to my assumed destination—the same place I got every Friday. I click accept on the suggested destination and continue driving as if I don’t know the directions.
Five days had passed since the accident. The news was out, but since Adam wasn’t eighteen yet, his name remained anonymous per the request of his family. Therefore, personal information didn’t spread as far as it could have. However, the town isn’t big, so many people found out from other sources, but the stories are distorted because there were so many underage drinkers at the party, and we all knew the consequences of the truth. I didn’t know whether to feel grateful or like the worst person in the world that no one ratted out where the party was held. No one wanted to admit they were even there, but we all know the truth. I considered ratting myself out, taking responsibility for throwing the party at a location I didn’t have permission to use, but the odds of Dad taking the blame was still high, or so I assumed. I’d end up ratting out a lot of lies from others who were protecting themselves and me.
I convinced myself the location wasn’t the precursor. If the party wasn’t at The Barrel House, we would have found an abandoned warehouse in one of the mills. However, we wouldn’t have been heat or electricity, which was why I opted for The Barrel House. There still would have had alcohol, underage drinking, and the temptation to kiss Brody Pearson in a utility closet.
