I am positive he will take a left to spite me, but I’m grateful when he goes the long way. “I’ll stop ignoring your requests if you tell me why you stand so firm against everything I offer.”
“Fine. If you took a right, I’d have to pass by the location where I watched Adam dump his car off a ledge. How’s that?”
“Thank you,” he says. “I will never drive that way with you in the truck.” I’m staring at his profile, wondering if he’s taking me seriously, but he isn’t smiling or hinting at any form of sarcasm. “Tell me about the rest of that night, if you can.”
9
Feelinghelpless took on a new meaning during the hour it took the “jaws of life” to retrieve Adam from his car. I wasn’t allowed to move any closer toward the ledge and I had no one to stand with, aside for some concerned witnesses. Adam’s parents arrived minutes before his body was being pulled from the car. They didn’t look at me or ask me any questions. I’m not sure what they assumed, but I was the one who called them. I was also the bad influence in his life, and the one who broke his heart two weeks earlier.
I didn’t want to watch them, but it was hard to look anywhere else. They were holding each other up, crying so hard, the sound echoed between the rock walls on either side of us.
“We have a pulse,” one of the paramedic’s shouted as they were preparing to lift him onto a stretcher. There were so many contraptions to rescue Adam, and I wasn’t sure what any of them did. They needed a crane looking machine to lift the stretcher up to the solid ground. I was held behind the yellow tape as they rushed him to the ambulance. I could only see his snow boots poking out of the bottom.
Maybe it was best I didn’t see the extent of the damage.
Adam’s parents walked along the stretcher and waited as they secured him inside. “Is he going to make it?” Adam’s father cried out.
“We’re doing everything we can,” the paramedic responded.
I turned for my car, planning to follow the ambulance.
I was mesmerized by the flashing lights, staring at them as if they were pulling me in tow. Did he know I was following him? Did he speed up because I was?
The thoughts were endless. I considered the thought that I might be responsible for manslaughter. I wasn’t sure though.
My heart raced the entire drive to the hospital, and I could hardly figure out how to walk in through the emergency room entrance. My legs felt numb and my feet just seemed to move on their own. I spotted Adam’s parents in the waiting area, still falling apart with hopeless tears raining down their faces.
I didn’t tell him to drink.
I didn’t tell him to drive.
I didn’t invite him to the party.
Yet, it was still my fault.
Hours passed and my phone rang many times, but I didn’t bother to look at who was calling. I was sure my parents were looking for me, and Melody was freaking out.
If anyone found out where Adam acquired the alcohol, Dad’s shop would be in jeopardy. I understood the risks before I passed out the invitations, but I told myself nothing would happen.
Adam’s father approached me even though I was strategically hiding behind a beam. “What happened tonight?” he asked.
“We were at a party. I wasn’t around him most of the night. I don’t know how much he drank, but he found me kissing someone and ran off. I tried to follow him, to stop him, but I couldn’t catch up. By the time I reached him, it was too late.” I felt I had no other option than to be honest. His father deserved at least that much.
“Where was this party?”
“It was at an abandoned building near the mills,” I lied, to protect Dad’s business.
Adam’s dad sat down in the chair beside me and his fingers clasped together, dangling his hands between his knees. “I know the two of you broke up a couple of weeks ago because of college, and I told Adam I commended you for being brave enough to do so. Long distance isn’t something you should be worried about at your age,” he began, sighing to take a moment to breathe. “I know you were both in pain and I’m not going to speculate your reason for kissing someone else. You’re eighteen. You live and learn. I know you didn’t tell him to drink or drive, so as much pain as I’m in and as scared as I am, I want to relieve you of this burden, Journey. You should go home. We’ll let you know what the status is when we find out.”
I shouldn’t have been given any sort of forgiveness. Whether I gave him alcohol or not, he got into that car because of me. “I’m going to stay, if that’s okay with you?”
Adam’s dad shook his head. “No, your parents have called us to see if we knew where you were. Your dad is on his way to pick you up.”
“I sat in the hospital waiting room until I was forced to go home,” I tell Brody.
“Your sister was frantically looking for you all night. I remember that.”
“Yeah, I saw the missed calls.” I keep my focus locked on the small shops lined along the downtown area. Most of them close after five, but a few stay open.
