"What is it?" she asked, retrieving another two pencils from a small box in the closet.
"An unplanned meeting," I whispered. "Be alert." I had nothing else to offer as a warning, but she should know to keep her eyes open for something coming. "If I must leave … I will come back for you, Amelia."
"Leave?" she questioned.
"The orders I receive, they don't always offer me much warning." I took her hand in mine and gently kissed her knuckles.
She inhaled sharply and straightened her frail shoulders. "Well, I have survived this long here. Surely, I will be okay."
I didn't understand how she could remain so calm. Maybe it was a front, but Amelia was undoubtedly stronger than I.
"Amelia," I spoke in a hush.
"Yes, Charlie," she responded with a raised brow.
"You look beautiful today." I attempted to tell Amelia she looked beautiful every day. I could only imagine how she must have felt without access to proper hygiene, food, and other bare necessities of life.
I had fallen for this woman.
Two weeks prior, Amelia referred to us as friends, and I realized in that instance that there was something other than a friendship brewing. Our hiding spot for that moment had been within one of the non-working shower rooms. Amelia had threatened to run away from the camp. When she spoke those words, my heart shattered. The thought of what would happen to her if she tried such a thing was incomprehensible.
"You can't leave me," I told her.
I was not trying to appear selfish. I knew Amelia would die if she left.
"Charlie, we are just friends," she told me.
Just friends. We were no longer just friends. My stomach hurt with the thought of not seeing her again. My heart pounded, and my knees were weak. Because of her.
"You're not my friend, Amelia," I told her. My voice sounded broken, but I tried to remain firm. I was determined to make her understand.
Amelia's eyes grew wide as she gazed at me. I couldn't tell if she was confused, upset, angry, or feeling the same way I was. Her sullen response was, "I understand," which made me realize she didn't know what I meant.
"No, you don't," I told her, squeezing my hands around her shoulders. I didn't know what I was doing at that moment, but my heart was steering the wheel.
"Charlie," Amelia whispered as she pulled herself free of my grip. I was scaring her, and it was the last of my intentions.
My gaze locked upon on her lips. I couldn't look anywhere else. My breaths were heavy, and I placed my hand on the plastered wall above her head, leaning toward her with hunger.
"Are you okay?" she asked, her voice quiet and unsure.
I allowed my forehead to fall softly against hers. My other hand looped around Amelia's small frame, and I pulled her into me, claiming her lips as if I needed them to survive. Oxygen didn't seem necessary at that moment, though I was becoming breathless quicker than anticipated. The air was tight within the broken shower room, and sweat was trickling down the back of my neck. I was committing a crime, but at the same time, confessing the feelings my heart was screaming out loud.
Amelia kissed me back with the strength she had, uncaring of what might happen next. For that blissful minute, there was no war, there were no prisoners, I was not a monster, and she was not walking a plank toward her death. We were just Charlie and Amelia, and she was my girl. I was falling in love with a woman I knew I couldn't hold onto, and there was nothing I wanted to do to stop it.
Long drawn-out delicious minutes passed as we stared into each other's eyes searching for a future we could only conjure in our dreams. "Amelia, I—I am in love with you. I love you." My words were not thought out, but they were the truth. For months I had watched that beautiful woman overcome the most treacherous situations. I questioned her strength—if it was even human. She, who could put a smile upon her cupid-bow lips to ease the worry of a child and his mother, had to be an angel on this hell of an earth. There was no other explanation, and I was enamored and fascinated by her strength. I would do anything to save her. Anything.
Of the parts I loved most about Amelia was the reason behind the response that awaited me. "Charlie, if I tell you I love you, you'll leave me, just like everyone else I have ever loved, so I'm sorry I can't offer you the same affirmation in return."
I didn't offer Amelia my love in exchange for hers. "I don't care if you love me. I don't care if you do and never tell me, but I needed you to know that I love you, and I will do whatever I can to protect you."
It was the truth she needed to hear.
"Oh, Charlie," she uttered. "You must stop calling me beautiful. It's absurd. I'm just glad there aren't mirrors here to see the truth."
"Whatever truth you believe is merely a reflection of how you feel, rather than what is real. Do not forget that."
A door opened and closed in an adjacent corridor, so I took the free second I had left and kissed the woman I yearned to be with, in any other situation than this. Amelia dropped her pencil amid the moment.
