"Jesus," he says, ripping the phone away from me. The phone slips from both our grips and I dive toward the ground to grab it before it falls.
"Got it!" My thumb hit the screen while I was getting back up to my seat and the next picture is a different view of him in the underwear shoot. "Wow. Do you stuff?" I'm laughing so hard, I might pee in my pants.
He grabs the phone and places it face down on the bartop. "You're single, aren't you?" he asks.
"Yup, I am, and proud of it. It turns out men don't appreciate women without a filter."
"I can see why," he says nodding at me.
"I have to use the restroom. Be right back," I tell him.
I hop off the stool and grab my purse from the hook below the bar in case he decides to ditch while I'm gone. As I grip the strap, he grabs my arm and fixes his gaze to mine. "To answer your question … no, I don't stuff my briefs, Madelyn."
For a second, I feel frozen, held by his icy stare, but when he releases his hand from around my arm, I stumble backward. Thankfully, I correct my stance without falling, and stumble to the bathroom.
Once I close myself inside a stall, I spot goosebumps running down the length of my arms. That was kind of hot. He's kinda hot.
I'm quite drunk.
I pull my phone out of my purse and send Layla a quick text.
Me:Still here with milk model boy in case you were looking for me.
My balance is off, and I'm swaying from wall to wall of the stall, waiting for Layla to respond. I shake the phone to see if it's broken, but I almost lose it in the toilet, so I give up and drop the stupid thing into my purse.
Screw you, phone—you suck.
Oh wait, no, no, I'm supposed to be positive. This isn't positive behavior. I can do better.
"You're a beautiful phone. You give me everything. I'm thankful for the signals you supply, and the lasting battery power you offer. I'm so lucky to have perfect wifi all the time too. Let good things happen to me now, dear phone."
"Are you okay in there, girl?"
I'm not alone in the bathroom. I didn't know anyone had come in. Shit. "Uh, yeah, just reciting my affirmations," I tell the woman, honestly.
"Oh, girl, I do that every morning and night too. It seriously works, right?"
What the hell am I doing wrong? That shit isn't working for me.
"Yeah definitely, I get everything I want all the time. I just have to ask and visualize."
"So true, girlfriend. I'm Linda, by the way."
"Okay well, hey, Linda! That was a nice chat, but I gotta go," I tell her.
"I'd be running out too if I was sitting with Wesley Moon, you lucky girl."
She knows him?
"You know him?"
"Who doesn't?" Linda laughs.
"I know, right?" I laugh in return, but now realize I have been living under a rock.
"Well, if you get tired of him tonight, tell him Linda from the bathroom says hi."
What the hell?
