CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Scarlett
I don’t know howanyone decides on their future. It has always been the most challenging part of my life and because of it, I have no anchors. I’m used to being on my own. Suddenly, someone wants to join me in the middle of nowhere, and I’m okay with it. I’m more than okay with it, and that scares me. Today doesn’t scare me, so I figure if I don’t think about any day after today, I won’t have to feel that fear. I know Austin is pacifying my ridiculous life rule since I doubt he’s thinking the same way I am. People like to have comfort in knowing they have a bit of their future planned, but I’m not most people. I wonder if Mom ever thought like that, knowing each day that the next day someone would still be telling her how to live, how to dress, who to talk to and who not to talk to. I couldn’t survive in that way. I go against the grain for that reason—to make sure I never get stuck in the hamster wheel while some jerk is spinning the thing as fast as it will go.
“You look like you’ve been swimming,” Austin tells me as we walk up the steps to Kalvin’s house.
“So do you,” I tell him. “Yet, it’s sunny out now. It doesn’t even look like it rained here.”
“It was just for us,” Austin says, pulling his shirt away from his chest. We’re both wearing white shirts; therefore, we both look mildly inappropriate to be out in public … me more than Austin, of course. Austin is just giving every woman a peek at his perfection. I’m giving every man a peep show. I was super smart to wear a see-through white bra. My shirt was thick enough to cover everything beneath, but there’s no winning with a battle against the rain. I look like I just competed in a wet t-shirt contest. It wasn’t supposed to rain.
I let us into the house and find Kalvin and Brendan sitting on the couch speaking civilly, which is a nice change after the past twenty-four hours of listening to them argue.
“What in the world happened to you?” Kalvin asks, looking a bit shocked, since he’s facing us.
“Rainstorm,” I tell him with a shrug.
“Who—?”
Brendan turns around and immediately stands up, his eyes wide with excitement. He’s eyeballing me with a bigwhat the helllook, but he’s heading for Austin to shake his hand. “What are you doing here?” he asks Austin.
“Pissing Scarlett off,” he says.
I elbow him in the chest. “Shut up.”
“You have balls, man,” Brendan says. “Hopefully, you’ll keep them intact.” With Brendan’s lovely choice of words, Austin curls his arm into his chest and leans away from me, waiting for my elbow again. “Seriously though, Scarlett, I’m so proud of you for not telling him to go back home.”
“No. Geez! Am I that bad?” I ask them. I realize I don’t have the best track record in the world, but I have good reasons for all my short-lived relationships in the past.
“Yeah, you’re kind of bad,” Brendan says. “She must really like you, Austin.”
“She loves me,” Austin says.
Brendan laughs, almost hysterically. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news but Scarlett doesn’t love anyone.” Yikes. I don’t think Brendan realizes what he sounds like at the moment or how that just came off.
“Easy,” I tell Brendan.
“When have you ever loved anyone? I mean, except me because there’s no risk involved.”
Everyone is looking at me, and I’m rapidly getting embarrassed. Brendan knows me—my story, my past. Why would he be saying all this? “Okay, okay,” Austin says, looping his arm around me.
“Sorry for Brendan’s behavior,” Kalvin says. “He’s being a little dramatic and sensitive right now.”
Oh, for God’s sake. That’s what this is—displaced anger. It takes a lot to make Brendan mad, and I’m usually the only one who gets under his skin well enough to cause that, but clearly, Kalvin struck a nerve. I can understand. If Kalvin just came clean to Brendan, he has a right to be pissed. I don’t know what they’ve been arguing about. I just know they’ve been fighting.
Brendan turns around and holds his hands up to Kalvin. “Do you mind? Not everything is about you.”
“We’ll let you get back to your conversation,” I tell Brendan.
“No, wait. I shouldn’t have said any of that. It just came out.”
“It’s okay. I know who I’ve been and who I am,” I tell him.
“Wait, did you tell Austin you love him? And if you did, why didn’t you tell me?” He’s worked up and using his hands to talk like he does when he gets exasperated.
There’s nothing quite like getting questioned as if I’m under fire. “Brendan,” I say softly. “I do love Austin, and I did tell him.”
Brendan places his hand on his head and his mouth falls open. “I’m baffled,” he says. “Like, I can’t form a thought right now.”
