“Nurse, yes,” he replies instantly.
“No, no, no, silly. Are you myyyyyy—luvah?”
He’s laughing at me again. I don’t understand what is so funny. I’m just trying to understand what’s happening.
“No, Scarlett. I’m your nurse.”
I wave him off with my free arm, which makes me look at my arm that doesn’t feel free. “What the—what happened to my arm? Who did this to me?”
“You fell yesterday and broke your wrist. You needed surgery to repair the bone, but you’re on the mend now, so everything is going to be okay,” he tells me.
“How? Aussstin, how? How is everything going to be okay if my wrist doesn’t work? Do you know how many things people need their wrists for?” No, why is this happening?
“I know you’re confused at the moment, but everything will make more sense soon.”
I grab his hand. “Do you even love me?”
“Scarlett, I’m just your nurse. I think you’re a tiny bit confused.”
“No,” I argue. “I like you. I know that. You—you are pretty, and you’re not mean. Oh, and your hand feels nice, and your voice is like a nice sound that’s tickling the inside of my ear.”
“Your friend Brendan is here. Do you want me to go get him for you?”
“No, no, you can’t leave me. No one wants to be around me. Everyone leaves. Do you want to know why?” I feel the need to whisper because I don’t want anyone besides Austin to know the truth.
“Why is that?” he matches my volume.
“I say what I feel when I’m thinking it. My mind doesn’t give me time to weigh the consequences of what comes out of my mouth. Plus, I’m kind of bossy, but it’s just because I get nervous when I don’t have control. Are you like that?”
Austin is looking around the room, but I don’t know what he’s looking for. He clears his throat and repositions himself in his seat. “I am like that,” he says. “Control protects people from pain.”
“Why is that?” I retort.
“I don’t know. Why do you think?” he spins the question back toward me.
“I’m drugged, so I don’t know if I can come up with an answer for you. You’re not drugged though, so you should know.”
“Scarlett, I’m going to call the front desk to have Brendan come down here, okay?”
“Okay,” I tell him. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
He looks at me with sympathy, like he should be sad for me or something. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable.”
Clarity is percolating and I’m having an easier time remembering why I’m here, but not much of the last few minutes. “My mind feels like it’s a blender,” I tell Austin.
“That’s completely normal,” he assures me.
“Austin,” I say as he stands up to reach for the phone.
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”
“Just doing my job, darlin’”
“Austin?”
“Yes,” he laughs.
