Prologue
SCARLETT
Ten Years Ago
There are days inmy life when I wonder how I got to exactly where I am. It’s not like when I’ve been zoned out while driving for a half hour and can’t figure out how I’m still alive; it’s more curiosity about what steps I skipped that landed me in certain situations where I don’t want to be. I’ve been told time and time again that if I do things the right way and don’t take shortcuts, it’ll pay off. Well, I’m calling bullshit on all that.
It’s Freshman Orientation day, and I’m standing in front of the school, looking up at this daunting, aged building as if it’s going to swallow me whole at some point in the next four years. I have this unsettled feeling of unease, at least partly because I’m not sure I made the right life decision, which sucks since it’s the first life decision I’ve been able to make for myself.
“Scarlett. You okay, babe? You look lost in that head of yours again, but um, I’m going to head over to my dorm and check things out. Are you going to be cool for a bit?”
“I’m fine, Teak. I’m going to check into my dorm too,” I tell him.
Overbearing boyfriend? Check.
“I’m so glad we did this together because I honestly think we’re going to have the best four years ever.” Teak kisses me on the cheek and jogs off toward the men’s dormitory, hooting into the distance. No one else is really making noises or shouting with excitement, but I think Teak has this idea of what college is supposed to be like, and he can only visualize the fraternity part of the experience.
A Stalker-like boyfriend, who wants to share every single college experience together? Check.
The moment I’m alone, a sense of freedom overwhelms me, and for the first time in my life, I know I’m in control, even if it’s only self-control.
My story is one of a girl who was raised with a silver spoon in her mouth. However, as soon as I learned what money could do to a person, I spit the damn spoon out and refused to follow in the footsteps of a man who only sees life in dollar signs. So here I am, the only person who would likely turn down a full ride at college in exchange for freedom. If I let Dad pay, it would only be an extension plan for his ownership of me, and there was no way I could feed into that any longer. I want to start my story at the beginning—my beginning, which means rejecting what looks easy and never turning back. In other words, having a smothering boyfriend at the beginning of my story is not going to work out too well. For him. I’ll deal with that shortly, though.
I use my paper map to search for the location of my dorm, finding it on the other side of the grassy quad. At least the dorms aren’t co-ed, which is pretty much the only thing working in my favor for this fresh-start thing I’m attempting. I realize I’ve done this to myself. Despite the fact that I’m not the—I want to be near you, next to you, taste you, breathe you in, and sniff your butt—demented part of the relationship I’m in, I haven’t taken the necessary move to break free from it. Iwasset to take off in my own direction to college … alone, but Teak insisted on going to the same university. Almost as soon as I (stupidly) told him I was going to Hartford University, he “luckily” got in too, and here we are … together, forever at last, or whatever it is he’s chanting in his head right now.
“Scarlett!” I hear from behind. “Babe, wait up.”
I turn and readjust the bags on my shoulder. “Did you forget something?” I ask him. I’m honestly not sure I could sound less interested if I tried, yet he doesn’t seem to pick up on this. He hasn’t picked up on it since I lost interest in him when I found out he was going to this school too.
“I just want to see where you’re living. Gotta check the place out and make sure it’s good enough for my woman,” he says with a wink that looks more like a twitch. Maybe it is a twitch. It would explain some things.
The caveman-type boyfriend who beats on his chest while claiming his woman? Check.
“Teak, I’m fine, really, but thank you.” I keep walking, but he follows.
“Is something wrong?” he asks. “You sound kind of cold. I can warm you up, babe.”
I sound kind of cold. Do I look cold? Because it’s a hundred degrees and 80 percent humidity. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just you.
A boyfriend who keeps using pickup lines a year after being a relationship with the same woman? Check.
“Oh my God,” I say through gritted teeth. I squeeze my hands into the sides of my head. “No, I just want to find my own way right now, okay? That’s all.”
“Oh,” he says with cynical laughter. Because clearly, I sound like I’m joking, as far as he’s concerned. “Ooh, I have an idea. Later, we choose a place to meet up and then pretend like we’re strangers. It will look like a typical Freshman instalove hookup, and everyone will think we’re like the hottest couple on campus for the rest of the year. Plus, that could be sexy and fun to pretend like we’re just meeting, right?” He pulls my hair behind my back and wraps his arm around my neck. “God, you’re so cute.” He just keeps talking and talking and talking, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I can’t live without you. I need you, I want you, give me more.
The guy who feels like a relationship needs to be spiced up after only a year … at nineteen years old?Check.I can’t imagine what our future would look like in ten years.
I let out a loud huff of air. “No, Teak. I want to go find my dorm.” Is it just me, or am I just saying the same thing but in different ways, over and over?
“Well, now I really want to come. It sounds like you’re avoiding me or hiding something. What’s going on with you, Scarlett? You’re making me nervous.” I’m making him nervous because I want to locate my dorm on my own, and he feels the need to follow me rather than find his own dorm.
Insecure and jealous for no reason? Check.
“Do you hear yourself?” I ask him. “You sound nuts.”
“I sound nuts because I want to make sure you’re taken care of?”
“Yeah, I don’t need to be taken care of,” I tell him. My face is getting hot, and I just want this conversation to end. I want this whole thing with Teak to end. All of it. He needs to go away. Now.
