“It’s the truth,” she says into my ear. “Just remember that.”
I place her down and look over at Charlotte, who has her hand flattened against her chest, pulling in a deep breath. “I hope everything is okay,” she tells me. “Tell her I say hello.”
“You sure you’re okay with the two of them while you unpack?”
“Yep, we’ll be fine.” Charlotte takes the few steps between us and wraps her arms around my neck—a gesture she hasn’t offered since the moment she moved in here. “Thank you for saving us when I needed it the most. What you have done is unforgettable and you are truly the most genuine, best friend I have ever had. If that’s what I’m lucky enough to walk away from you with, then I am grateful.”
“You’re talking like you’re never going to speak to me again now that you aren’t forced to,” I respond nervously.
“I didn’t say that,” she says. Pulling back a bit, she sweeps her thumb across my cheek before placing a small kiss where her thumb was. The touch of her lips sends comforting warmth through my entire body and it was only my cheek that she kissed.
I grab my keys from the side table and step outside into the warm July air. The sun is hot today and the air is dry, making for the perfect summer weather—Ellie’s favorite kind of day. Shortly after we got married, we would go to the gardens, find a bench directly in the sun and sit there until it got too hot. We’d hang our heads backward over the top of the bench’s back as we allowed the sun to wrap us up in its heat.
Before heading to the flower shop, I take a detour to the gardens, arriving alone for the first time in a couple of months. I take the steps slowly down into the shaded area where our tree is. It’s surrounded by the jasmines Ari and I planted here a couple of months ago.
I place my hand over the engraved writing and press my head against the tree. “Am I doing this all wrong, Ell? I feel like that’s all I ever ask you. I just wish you could answer me for once.” I sigh heavily and drop down into the grass. “I thought I had this all figured out but you know what I can’t figure out? I was never supposed to have to make a decision like this. You were supposed to be with me until we were old and gray.” Gripping at the sharp blades of new grass, blame filters through me like it often does. “Instead, I was a jackass and got us into a car accident. And you were a jackass and didn’t tell me that the car accident shortened your life by seventy years or so. I guess us two jackasses were destined for each other. But now I’m sitting here in front of two paths and I don’t know which way to go.” I take a deep breath, contemplating the answer to my own question. “Ell, do I follow your heart or mine?”
“You follow yours, Hunter.” Ari’s voice is soft among the slight breeze. I didn’t see her walk down the steps, and I didn’t see her car in the lot when I came in but she’s come from the path behind me, which means she was here all along.
“Ari,” I say, standing up, brushing the dirt from my backside. “Why haven’t you returned my texts or calls?”
She places a hand over her heart, Ellie’s heart. Looping her other arm around mine, she pulls me toward the bench where we both take a seat.
“Do you remember when I told you I was no good for you, that you would end up hurt because of me?” she asks.
“Yeah, I remember that conversation.” I place my hand down on her trembling knee.
“I’m selfish. I’ve been selfish, Hunter, but please, go along with this—whatever this has been—companionship, friendship, connection, a little more.”
I don’t understand what she means by that. My eyes strain against the sun as I continue staring at her with wonder. “There is no such thing as selfish, considering the hand you’ve been dealt.”
“I’ve known all along that you’re in love with the heart in my body, and I can’t help but feel like I took it for granted—the way you treat me is like no one else has ever treated me. You’re a gentleman and perfect in every other way, too. As simple as our relationship has remained, you have still managed to make me feel things I was sure I would never have the opportunity to feel, but mostly, you have made me feel alive.”
“Are you saying goodbye to me?” I laugh anxiously, realizing that while I want to think it’s a joke, I’m pretty sure it’s not.
She looks up to the sky and closes one eye against the brightness. “I saw you and Charlotte at the grocery store last week.” She pauses and smiles up at the sun. “You know you two are meant to be together, right?”
“What? Where were you? Why didn’t come over to us?”
“I—I can’t answer that yet.”
“I don’t understand where this is all coming from, Ari.”
“I know,” she says. “Hunter, I know you want to be around me for more reasons than just Ellie’s heart. We’ve gotten really close, but I’m hurting your life right now. You just don’t realize it.”
I lean down and pick a small, white flower from the ground, holding my focus on it as I digest every word she’s saying. “How could you think that?”
“Besides that I feel like I’m preventing you from moving on to have a normal relationship with Charlotte, the one person who will likely be there to grow old with you, there’s one fact you have overlooked, or possibly never considered.”
A gust of wind blows the small flower from my loose grip, and my heart pounds heavily as I look back over at her. Her pinched lips tell me she is struggling to retain her composure. “I don’t know what you’re getting at, ” I say, tilting my head, and giving her a bewildered look.
“Some people are incredibly lucky and live a long life with their transplant but one out of two heart recipients don’t survive for more than ten years.”
“Well, you’re on the better half of that fifty percent,” I tell her, feeling angry that she should consider being on the other end of that half.Ellie’s heart is meant to survive.With that, I see a fascinating stone I think Olive would like. Attempting to distract myself from what I’m hearing, I bend down to pick it up, noticing that it is, ironically, heart-shaped—not like a valentine heart, but a real heart.
She shakes her head and sweeps her hair behind her back. “No, I’m not,” she says, through a frustrated exhale.
“What? What are you talking about?” I ask, my voice betraying my anger as I chuck the stone as far as I can throw it. “You have no way of knowing that. Ari, you shouldn’t talk like that. You need to stay positive. Look how far you’ve come in the past six years.”
