“Emille Crane,” Charlie replied. I knew I wasn’t fooling anyone into believing I was German, but we had to try. As the guard walked to the office beneath the tower, I began to shake. I could bet on the fact that there was no one by the name of Emille Crane. He would also find out Charlie was lying about where he was stationed. I could feel our freedom disappearing by the second. I felt death approaching. Maybe Lucie would have survived if I had just left her back at the camp. At that moment, I knew it would be my fault if shedied.
The guard returned, and my throat narrowed, making it hard to swallow. My palms were wet with sweat as I pressed them against Lucie’s back, rocking her from side to side, hoping to keep us both calm. “You can go on through,” the guardsaid.
I wasn’t sure if my body was confused with how to react, or if all my fears just went away, but it was as if my legs walked on their own accord, nearing the gate that was slowly being pulled open by a secondguard.
Charlie placed his hand softly on my back as we walked side by side toward the Austrian border. It was probably in my head, but I could smell fresher air wafting through the gate from the new country we were entering. Whether it was safer or not, I didn’t know, but it appeared better from where we were standing just a momentearlier.
“Jews don’t belong in Austria either,” the guard said, his voice deep withcontempt.
I could hear my pulse beating inside of my ears, unsure if I should turn around and address the guard’s statement or if I should continue walking and ignore the insult he wasoffering.
“Don’t turn around, Amelia, keep walking, and then run,” Charlie said. His words were so quiet, they were softer than a whisper, but I heard him clearly. I did as he said, and with only a handful of seconds passing between the guard’s comments and the sound of a gunshot—two gunshots, I turned around, finding Charlie holding his already injured shoulder, guarding me as I continued forward. There was blood pouring out of his arm and onto the ground belowhim.
“Let her go.” Charlie’s words were demanding. “Or I’ll killyou.”
“You’ll kill me?” the guard questioned Charlie while laughing out loud athim.
I turned back around and looked at Charlie. He looked scared, but I saw an inner strength in him that I hadn’t seenbefore.
“Run, Amelia. Run as fast as you can,” Charlie shouted once more. I did as he said, but my body was in so much pain, I didn’t know if I’d makeit.
“Amelia, do it for me. Go as far as you can go. Go on, Amelia. I’ll find you. I promise. I loveyou.”
He was hurt. I should have gone back for him, but when I turned around, I watched as the guard dragged him off toward the tower. I had to protect Lucie too, and if I went back, they would have killed both ofus.
Charlie saved me, and I left him there to fight for hislife.
I looked back several times, but there wasn’t a trace of him insight.
Charlie took a bullet for me. Lucie and I were alive because of him, and yet I had no idea if he was dead or alive. I wanted to drop to the ground and cry, but there was no time. I held back the tears and kept running. I think it was the pure adrenaline running through my body that kept me going until I finally saw the train station Charlie had mentioned. Shouting in the distance from where we had just come from continued, which told me that there were soldiers after us. Nothing was going to stop me from getting onto that train, though. Charlie just gave up his freedom, and very likely his life, and I could not let that selfless act be invain.
Lucie was crying in my arms as if she knew what had happened. The poor thing watched all of it as she rested her head on myshoulder.
Lucie and I snuck onto one of the trains that was boarding. I found a coat closet in an empty car and buried us behind some storedbags.
If he survived, Charlie would find us. I had to keep telling myself that we would somehow be reunited. He would find us. It couldn’t end like that. It just couldn’t. “Lucie,” I whispered. “I promise you, Charlie will find us. He said he wanted to be your papa, and he is—he will be. I’m going to make sure you and I have a good life so that when he does find us, we can share it with him, sweet girl. We can start over. We can go to America. I know I didn’t put you on this earth, but I will do anything in the world for you, and I’ll keep you safe. I will show you undying love, and I will keep you close to me like your mama did for you before she was taken, and like my mama did for me.” Lucie looked at me with her doll-like, blue eyes that glimmered from the crack of light pouring in from the closet door. “I need to change your name, sweet girl.” I thought for a moment, pondering a good, strong name. Mama’s middle name was Annie and I felt it would be the perfect way to carry on her undying strength. “You will always be Lucie to me, but I’m going to call you Annie from now on because I don’t want those horrible men to ever find you. I will be your Mama, and you will be my daughter. You will never have to know of the life of murder and hatred that we left behind. This is my promise to you, sweetgirl.”
Lucie couldn’t respond, but she smiled as if she understood. Her hand reached for my hair as if she was reaching for the stars, and I knew that with all the horror we had been through—all the misery and heartache—that I had at least saved one life—the precious little girl and I would never take that forgranted.
Life wasn’t fair, and to know I didn’t tell Charlie how I truly felt about him would forever torment me. I didn’t tell him how much I loved him because terror stood in the way, and in the end, he was taken from me anyway. It was all fornothing.
I loved him. I love him, and love like that only comes around once in a lifetime. I’m sure of it. Yes, there are second chances to be had, but only one first love—only one who would sacrifice his own life for another. If I could only do it all over again, I would so that I could tell him the last words that he deserved to hear. I hope he knows that I loved him. I’ll never forgive myself for not expressing that withwords.
