As I willed myself to sleep that night, my thoughts of Charlie forgetting about me sent an agonizing pain through my heart, and for the first time since Leah was murdered, I wanted to scream my hatred away. I thought maybe a shriek would make me feel better, but instead, I took several deep breaths, squeezed my eyes closed, and tried to bury thethoughts.
I refused to be a victim of the Nazis or myemotions.
Nazis were no longer coming in to pillage the women in our barrack since we were all far too weak to be of any use to them, or so we assumed. Therefore, an interruption in the middle of the night was a rarity. Yet, no one would move an inch if the door were toopen.
We had all been scared into pretending we were lifeless on the floors. Unsure what to think, I was startled when my body was lifted up with just a scoop of an arm, right off the ground, and strewn over a firm shoulder. I struggled not to scream, as I knew it would do no good. The Nazis took what they wanted, when they wanted it, and screaming only made thingsworse.
I kept my eyes closed as I was brought outside. I prayed the arm around me was Charlie’s, but he hardly twitched as he passed by me earlier that day, so the hope I had that he was alive became overshadowed by my new fear that he had turned into a monster like the rest. I wouldn’t want to know him if that were the case. I would rather think he wasdead.
I was lowered to the ground, still unsure of where I was, but I refused to open my eyes. If I was to be executed, I didn’t want to watch it happen. It was the last bit of power I had over my life, and under no circumstance would I let them take that away fromme.
“You’re alive.” His voice was gruff and hoarse as if he were sick, but I recognized it. I nervously opened my eyes, forcing myself to face the truth. It was hard to see much at first after clenching my eyelids shut for so long, but as clarity set in and the moon’s glow assisted in lighting the enclosed area, I saw a nearly unrecognizable man accompanying the voice. There were tracks of scars lining his face as if someone had taken knives and dragged them in a row across his skin. I reached up to touch the scars—the texture of the indents and bulging skin. “What did they do to you? Are you all right, Charlie?” My fear-saturated words floated above us within the thick humid air. He didn’t answer. Instead, he traced a finger along the rigid bones of my cheek as a tear fell from his eye. “Charlie, speak to me.” I couldn’t help but slightly fear the man I should have never fallen so attached to because it seemed like it was taking forever for him to answerme.
“We need to escape,” he finallysaid.
Relief flooded my body with so many sensations; I felt as if I were imploding from the inside out. I had stayed there for him because of the promise I made, and it was apparent he was living up to his word, as well. “Thank you,” Iwhispered.
“The Red Cross has announced a visit to this camp, and the SS is making drastic changes in its appearance to fool them into believing this is the ghetto they proclaimed it to be. From what I gather, it seems that anyone who appears to be ill or dying will be transitioned immediately, and you are on a list to be taken to Auschwitz at the end of the week, Amelia,” hesaid.
“Auschwitz?” I questioned. “What is that? Is it a newghetto?”
Charlie shook his head, and a sickened look draped over his face like a dark shadow. “It’s a death camp, Amelia. That’s where all the Jews are being taken when they are transitioned from here. They are forced to work in far worse conditions than they do here, and it’s only a waiting game until they’re forced into a chamber that’s filled with a poisonous gas, which kills themimmediately.”
“Jakob,” I called out in a whisper. I had held out the smallest bit of hope that he was alive somewhere, but the truth became clear in thatmoment…
“He was gassed on the second of March lastyear.”
I couldn’t scream, and I couldn’t breathe, but I wouldn’t let myself break either. There was nothing I could do except stare into Charlie’s eyes, with anger for the world I was forced to remain in while everyone else left mebehind.
Another rip of my collar—another shred of my heart, gone. The collar of my dress was officially destroyed, just the same as my life.“They’re allgone.”
Charlie watched as I mourned for a brief moment, praying Jakob was in a better place. I had to avoid the thought of what he went through—the suffering heendured.
“I’m so sorry, Amelia.” Sorry. I don’t think I ever understood that word, and I don’t think I ever willagain.
“When are we leaving?” I askedhim.
“As soon as we can,” hesaid.
“I can’t leave Lucie,” I told him. I promised Leah if they came for her, I would watch over Lucie until I was no longer able to. I couldn’t abandon her, even if I hadn’t promisedLeah.
“Lucie?” he questioned. “Who isLucie?”
“Leah’s daughter. Do youremember—”
“She’s alive?” Charlie asked with shock, as a glimmer of hope echoed through hisvoice.
“Lucie is alive. Leah wasexecuted.”
Charlie lowered his head to my chest, still kneeling overme.
“It isn’t fair,” he said, his hand gripping my arm with force. He shook as he took in a few breaths, digesting the information, though nothing should have felt surprising. The true shock was that I was alive, and so wasLucie.
“What was it like out there—outside of these walls?” I asked him, unsure I truly wanted to know, but I had no idea what he had been through, and by the look on his face, I knew it wasbad.
Charlie pulled in a deep breath and straightened his back. Without a quick response, he unbuttoned his coat and shrugged it off, allowing it to fall to the ground behind him. It took me a moment to see the tied-off sleeve on the upper portion of his left arm. “Your arm, Charlie,” I growled withanger.
“They took that, but they couldn’t have the rest of me, Amelia. I fought so damnhard.”
