CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Amelia
May 1942 - Day 150
Ihad beenable to block out the stench in my block since the beginning, but one particular night in May, it was more potent than normal, making it difficult to sleep. Still, I knew how hard it would be to function the next day if I didn’t get a bit of rest before the whistles blew and the shoutingbegan.
I folded my hands over my head and turned toward the wall, trying to visualize the mustard fields of golden hues, remembering the scent of flowers that intermingled with the breeze. I would have done just about anything to smell that field once more, to feel the tall grass tickle the back of my knees, and enjoy the sun’s heat, rather than feeling it scorch myskin.
The door to our block opened and then closed immediately. I avoided looking out of fear for what I might see. Some nights the late-hour entrants were just prisoners who were forced to work extra hours. Other nights, it was a Nazi coming to claim what wasn't his. It’s why I chose to lay so close to the wall, wishfully thinking if I remained in the darkest shadow, I wouldn't be atarget.
However, it appeared luck wasn't on my side that night. Hands found my bare shoulders, but they didn't hurt me as I would have expected them to. They grazed soothingly up and down my arms, and I wondered if I might be hallucinating—only imagining a gentle touch rather than the roughness we’re all treatedwith.
I was pulled from my side onto my back as a whisper tickled my ear. “It’s me, Charlie. Don'tspeak.”
If I had spoken, someone would have heard our conversation—someone may have realized I was okay with a soldier being inside our barrack. At the same moment, though, I wasn’t sure what he was doing there. He had never come to visit in the middle of the nightbefore.
“We need to talk,” he said. His fingertips stroked the side of my face, almost guiding me into the sleep I desperately needed, but there was no way I could sleep while Charlie was beside me. “I’m going to drag you from the room,okay?”
I offered a slight nod, unsure whether he could see my gesture in the obscurity. Charlie helped me with my dress that I began wearing down by my waist in order to comply with the unexpected demands faster. He pulled me from the bed, and I allowed him to drag me, stumbling as we departed from the block. He jerked me along until we were outside and behind the barracks. We continued until we came upon a secluded area behind the building that held the prison cells for attempted escapees, or those who failed to abide by rules andregulations.
“What’s the matter?” I asked him in awhisper.
Before answering me, he handed over a piece of sweet bread. I devoured it, trying my hardest not to lose any of the crumbs, but before I could finish swallowing the delicious food, he placed an ear of corn in my hand too. I tried to nibble on it, but my teeth ached from eating mostly soft foods for so long. I was always conscious of my hygiene, wanting to keep clean and prevent pains in my mouth from decaying teeth, but it wasn't an optionthere.
Charlie noticed my struggle, and he wove his fingers through the loose strands of my hair that had fallen free from my knotted braid. “We didn’t get much tonight,” heexplained.
“You don't need to justify it,” I said. “You've given me more than I ever could have askedfor.”
“Amelia, I’m being deployed,” he blurtedout.
“What? What do you mean? Aren’t you alreadydeployed?”
“The war is getting bad, and they told me I was being sent to Prague to help on the frontlines.”
“No!” I shouted, louder than I should have. His hand cupped over my mouth as he hushedme.
“I don’t have a choice,” he said. I knew he had a little more say over things than I had, but it didn’t mean I had to agree with it. “How long will you begone?”
He shakes his head and peers down to the dirt below us. “I don'tknow.”
“I don't want you to go.” It went without saying. Throughout the previous month, our relationship had continued to blossom even within the walls of hell. We were each other’s hopes and dreams amidst the horror and destruction around us, but our young feelings hardly had a chance to develop into what they could have been because we had to hide our relationship. We were supposed to have hatred for each other, and I wondered if his deployment was a punishment for abandoning his dictated beliefs—maybe someone found out about us. If someone knew, I considered that I may be punished too—even if it were just for the simple fact that a Jew was smiling under those circumstances. It was notacceptable.
Our wordless conversations between our lips—exploring the inner workings of each other’s minds in silence was what we’d grown accustomed to, but I was about to lose my savior, and he was being sent to a place where he would be the one who needed to besaved.
Charlie’s arms wrapped around me, and he held on tightly. His hand gently pressed against the back of my head until my cheek rested on his chest, allowing me to listen to the fast rhythm of his beatingheart.
Fear was prominent. His heartache was apparent. Loss was in our future, and there was nothing we could do about it. When he deployed, I knew we may never see each otheragain.
“I love you so much, Amelia, and I’m terrified you won't be here when I getback.”
“I’m terrified you won’t come back,” I toldhim.
Neither of us could promise each other a different outcome because neither of us knew what our futures held. Waking up each day was a miracle as itwas.
“When do you leave?” Iasked.
“In themorning.”
