“Oh, right, right…sorry,” shesays.
“It's okay,” I tell her as I gently place my hand on her shoulder and guide her into the family room. “Is somethingwrong?”
“Yes,” she says, the word vibrating against the hollow of herthroat.
“Are you in pain? What's going on?” I ask, immediately filled with concern, but I already know about the palpitations she was gettingearlier.
“I think I'm going to die today,” she says, soundinghelpless.
“No, you're not,” I say as I help her take aseat.
Grams sits carefully, sinking into the plushness of her worn heather gray recliner. “I'm ninety-two, Emma. It's seventy-four years longer than I expected tolive.”
I take a seat on the arm of the chair and rest my head on her frail shoulder. “Why are you talking like this?” Iask.
With an exhausted sigh and a slight shake of her head, she replies, “I don't know.” Her hand drops to her lap, and her eyes go wide as if she's staring through a wall across the room, or staring at a ghost. “It's just the truth. I shouldn't be here.” I'm very confused by what she’s saying, and I wish Grams would explain herself a bit more. “My heart aches. My hands are shaky and my voice always quakes, but I know I’m not ready for theend.”
I spring to my feet. “I'll call 9-1-1, then your doctor. Did you take a baby aspirin thismorning?”
“No,” she snaps before tugging at my arm so I'll sit back down. “It hurts inside. I’mscared.”
“I don't understand what you're talking about?” She doesn't speak this way. She’s strong and brave, neverafraid.
“It has been more than seventy-four years,” she saysagain.
“Since what?” Iask.
“It isn't important,” she says as she presses her head into the indentation she has made on her chair over the years. Her eyelids close, and she places her soft hand on mine. “Emma, you will always be my sweetheart. You know that,right?”
“Grams,” I shout, startled. I press my hands into her shoulders and shake her. “Grams!”
No, no, no! I run to grab my phone, trembling as I dial 9-1-1, and the world freezes in time as I wait what seems like an eternity before my call isconnected.
