He picks up after only two rings, sounding a bit more distressed than he didearlier.
“Jelly-bean,” he says, breathlessly. “Are you okay?” The simple fact that he’s more concerned about me, who happens to be living in a million-dollar house for the summer, rather than himself, who is about to go couch hopping at our neighbors’ houses until we figure this out, makes me a totalasshole.
“Dad, I liedtoyou.”
He clears his throat following a long pause like he has always done when I’ve fallen beneath the standard of a good daughter. I haven’t heard the clearing of the throat since I brought Andy home. He knew well before I did that he was no good, probably just by looking at him. Stupid good-looking men. “What—what is there to lieabout?”
He breaks at the word, and my heart feels about the same. “I didn’t get an internship inMaine.”
“Huh? Where the hell are you then?” Okay, so we skipped the disappointed phase of this and went right topissed.
“I’m in Maine, but I’m nannying for the summer. I just ... I wanted a fewmonthsof—”
“Of what?” hesnaps.
I think back to the only nice thing Liam has said to me this week, remembering my reason for doing what I did. “I wanted a little life experience before I settled down into a forevercareer.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me that?” I pick at a thread pulling from the frayed hem of my shorts. Another simple question with no simpleanswer.
“I thought you’d be upset and disappointed that I wasn’t ready to go out and get the career I’m planning. You’ve spent the last however many years working your butt off to ensure I’d have what I needed for a successful future. You’ve said it yourself a million times. I was the reason you had to work twelve-hour days, two jobs, andsidework.”
“I’m upset you lied to me. We don’t do that, Julia. We promised each other a long time ago we would never lie.” I hear a loud sigh from his end of thephone.
“I’m going to come home and help you.” I need to ignore what Liam said and put aside Dylan for the moment, knowing Dad has to comefirst.
“No, you’re not. I’m putting everything into storage, and I think Gerald has some spaceforme.”
“Gerald? No way. You’re allergic to cats, and he has like ten. Not to mention there’s no space there for you other than their cat-hair-covered couch. What about your lady friendthere?”
Dad clears his throat; I suspect it’s to avoid the discussion about his lady friend. Typical. “Cat hair makes the couch a little softer, right? Besides, I have allergy meds. I’llbefine.”
“You’re always fine, but I see throughit,Dad.”
“Jelly-Bean, someday, God willing, you are going to have a son or daughter, and you will understand what it means to give unconditionally and without regret. I will give you whatever I have, whenever I have it, but I will never take from you, even if you have everything. You are my daughter, and putting the lying thing aside, I think taking a few months to find yourself is afineidea.”
This is why I call him when I need someone to talk to and listen to me. “Thanks for understanding, but I can’t just get off the phone, knowing what I’m hangingupon.”
“Pay your loans, that’s all I need you to do. That will help me. Be happy and enjoy this time before you have someone you live, breath, work, and survive for. Do thisforme.”
“You’re going to make mecry,Dad.”
“Well, you’ll probably look like a raccoon if you do, so it’s your call,sweetie.”
“Ugh, Imissyou.”
“Miss you more, baby-girl. I’ll give you a call soon when I have more information on what’s going on. In the meantime, don’t worry, and have agoodtime.”
I toss the phone behind me, feeling relief from my lie, but sadness foreverythingelse.
“Are you going to cry or what?” Liam is standing in my doorway,shirtless.
“What do you want?” I ask him, with tears filling my eyes and threatening to spill over. He pulls his arm out from behind him, handing me a bowl filled with condoms. “Really,Liam?”
“Extra-large, just like you requested.” He isn’t smiling. He looks pissed, but why would he be standing here, holding out a bowl of condoms if he were still pissed over somethingIsaid.
“Is this supposed to be some kind of peace offering for your assholebehavior?”
He walks into the room, coming closer to where I’m sitting. There’s heat spreading throughout my body as I struggle to take my eyes off of his chest. He’s glistening. How is that even possible? People don’t glisten unless they’ve been sprayed before a photoshoot.
