I thrash my hand around until it comes into contact with my phone, continuing to tap and swipe at the screen until the damn sound stops. I need to change my alarm sound and learn to close the blinds before I go to bed. The moment I peel my eyelids apart, the sun’s rays assault me like a thousand tiny toothpicks poking me in the eyeballs. I shield my face from the vibrancy and slip outofbed.
I can’t complain as I step into the softest carpet I’ve ever felt, feeling it squish between my toes. We’ve always had hardwoods throughout our house in Indiana, old hardwoods that don’t absorb much heat in the wintertime. I never enjoyed the first seconds of starting my day by stepping out of bed onto what felt like ice cubes, but I was used to it. I could get accustomed to this warmth beneath my feet first thing in themorning.
As I’m dragging each drawer open in search of my bathing suit, I find it hard to avoid thinking about Liam’s hands touching every article of clothing I own. That bastard was trying to leave his imprint on my stuff and mess withmyhead.
I find my damn bathing suit beneath a small pile of panties and tear it from the drawer.Why am I doing this?Probably a better question to ask myself is why can’t I swim?And why didn’t I go shopping last night for a more practical swimsuit instead of going out on a date with Long H—Sterling?Ugh. Too late now. This one will have to do foranotherday.
After piecing myself together and pulling my hair up into a messy knot, I slide into my flip-flops and grab a towel out of the linen closet in my bathroom. I’m fully ready in less than an hour, so I slip out of my room and head down the stairs, finding the first floor one person emptier than I left it lastnight.Good.
Maybe some fresh air will clear my head before I get this “session”overwith.
I drop down on the front steps, having a moment like the one I had when I first arrived here. I’m surrounded by stillness, peace and quiet, and the scent I want to have burned into my mind. I used to spend an hour in Yankee Candle smelling all the ocean-scented candles, wondering if the fragrance was accurate. While it came close, there’s nothing that could truly capture the essence and contain this kind offreshness.
Part of me feels guilty for enjoying this without Dad. Every school vacation and summer, he would say, “Some day, Jelly-Bean, we’re going on a vacation, and we’re going to experience the ocean together.” Dad’s family didn’t have a lot of money when he was growing up either, so he hasn’t been farther than our surrounding states. I’m the first of the two of us to get this experience, and it’s because I lied. It’s such a dumb lie too, but nevertheless, a lie is a lie. He probably wouldn’t have cared about the truth, but after spending so much money on my education, I wanted him to think it was worth a goodopportunity.
The screen door opens and closes behind me, startling me with its clang. “Good morning, sunshine,” Liam greets me. It’s probably the liveliest I’ve heard him sound sincewemet.
“I guess you’re a morning person,” Igrunt.
“Or maybe you’re just a little cranky. Why so uptight? Could you not relax last night orsomething?”
I glance up at him from the step I’m sitting on, finding him in a different pair of board shorts than he had on yesterday—red with black stripes. His white t-shirt is too tight, orheshould think so anyway, and he has a towel draped over his shoulder. “What would make you think I couldn’t relax lastnight?”
He shrugs. “I dunno. You just seemed stressed out, I guess. You know what I do when I get like that?” The scowl on my face melts into a straight line, hiding the fear of what might come out of hismouthnext.
“Act like a jerk? Seems to be something yourgoodat.”
“You’re close, actually,”hesays.
I stand up from the step and brush off the back of my white beach shorts, hoping I wasn’t sitting in a pile of dirt. Why did I wear white? At some point, I’m going to be thinking straight. I don’t know when that’s going to happen, but I have never been so airheaded before.Still sweeping at the dirt that may or may not be on my butt, I head in the direction of the water. “Don’t you want to know how to fix your problem?”heasks.
“I don’t have aproblem,Liam.”
“I was just going to tell you to take a hotshower.”
I glance over my shoulder at him, knowing I can’t control the slight snarl screwed into my lips. “What does that have to do with you beingajerk?”
“I jerk off in the shower,” he says, matter-of-factly. “I thought you might be interested in knowing that since you seemed so interested in my cock when you visited my bedroom lastnight.”
Now I’m picturing him jerking off in the shower, and squeezing my eyes as tightly as I can doesn’t seem to fix the problem; it makes it worse. “I can’tdothis.”
“Can’t do what?” he askscalmly.
“These sexually-fueled exchanges of hate, lust, or flirting ... whatever you want to call them. You’re driving me nuts.” I’m only slightly regretting everything I just said, but he needed to hear it because this must stop. I mean, it doesn’t have to stop, but it should stop. We’re living in the same house. Plus, I need to deal with Sterling as it is, and this is just adding fuel to the burning sensation between my legs that I can’t fix withoutShermanator.
“Whoa,” he laughs. “Can you repeat what you just said oncemore?”Why?
“I’m sure you heard me.” Plus, I don’t know what was in my head and what would come out of my mouth now if I tried to repeat my sentiments. “Let’s just get thisoverwith.”
“That’s great. You think I’m crushing on you,” hejests.
Ha ha, Liam. Elbow to the gut, I get it. It’s all in my head, right? Yeah, no. Touching my panties, hiding Shermanator. The condoms.Comeon.
“Is that some kind of surf slang for flirting with a girl?”Iask.
“We’re in Maine, not Cali,butsure.”
We reach the hardened sand where the tide is easing away, and Liam wastes no time pulling off his shirt. Eyes forward ... breathe. Look how pretty the water is. The sun is reflecting off the horizon line beneath the fluffy clouds in the bright blue—I just can’t do this! He’s toodistracting.
