“Exactly,” I tell her. It’s bad friend advice, but maybe having a fuck buddy for the summer would get her to ease up on her bad drinking habits a little and clear her stressful thoughts about Chip. All in all, it might be best for allofus.”
“I love you,” she tells me, wrapping her arm around my neck and resting her head on myshoulder.
“What for this time?”Ijoke.
“Your understanding of a fuck buddy. Ms.-I-like-to-only-be-in-relationships used to snarl at the thought of a fuck buddy. Oh, I got the best idea ever,” she squeals and claps her hands together. “We should make a pact right now.” There is no way anything good is about to come out of hermouth.
“Uh...”
“I’ll take that as a, ‘What’s your idea, my best friend?’” she speaksforme.
“Okay, Jade, what’s yourfantasticidea?”
“Let’s just find fantastic fuck buddies this summer. We have to go back home in September and be adults, so why the hell not? When else will we get another chance just to screw whatever looks hot.” The idea of this sounds dirty, but I’ve also been hanging out to dry like a rotting grape for the past year, too. Yeah, that’s seriously a gross visual and analogy. Best to keep that as my innerthought.
“I don’t know,” Itellher.
“You have two hot guys eyeballing you,” sheaddsin.
“And they’re friends. So ... keep thatinmind.”
“Yeah, helloménage-tres.”
“Um, it’s ménage à trois. French, not half French, halfSpanish.”
“Okay, Jules. We both know you’re the smart one. You don’t have to correct me all ofthetime.”
“Fine, I’ll let you suggest a ménage-tres to someone and sit back andwatch.Okay?”
“Ugh,” she groans. “Get the stick out of your butt ...fornow.”
The guys are heading over to us with a few bottles of wine and four glasses. “Who likes white and who likes red?”Sterlingasks.
“I’m red,” Itellhim.
“I’m white,” Jadefollows.
“How perfect,” Sterling replies. I’m a red guy, and Cleary is awhiteguy.”
“Yayyyy,” Jade says with a purposefully fakeexcitement.
Sterling pours everyone glasses, and they both take their seats beside us. I kind of feel bad for Jade. I do hope Cleary breaks the silence and talks to her for at least a little bit. She needs something to get her mind off the last conversationwehad.
I take the first few sips of the wine and relax into my chair, watching Sterling do the same. “I love it here,”hesays.
“So do they,” I nod over to the girls in hysterics, laughing on the other side ofthepit.
“Where are you ladies from?” Sterling yells overtothem.
“Connecticut,” three of the girls say at the same time. They’re whooping and fist pumping the air about Connecticut as if we were talking about a sports team. They must already be half inthebag.
“Nice, nice. Who’s the lucky lady here tonight?” Sterlingcontinues.
One of the girls, who appears to be the Jade of the group, grabs the wrist of the blonde girl with a white sash that vibrantly reads “Bride” in big red letters. Based on her reaction, it appears that her overly exuberant maid-of-honor planned one hell of a bachelorette party, and she may or may not be so thrilled with the idea yet. I’ve seen this scenario before, but the twist is, a few drinks later, the bride will be the one doing some weird trending dance around the fire. I can see why Sterling warned us about the entertainment here. This kind of stuff must happen allthetime.
“Well, congrats! You have aluckyman.”
Oh, gag. Yes, it appears I’m on a date with a man who’s more intrigued by a bride-to-be than the person he nearly begged to go out tonight. If he keeps moving in this direction, he might just earn himself a chapter in “He’s Just Too Into Himself.” I don’t know how I pick ‘em, or how they always seem topickme.
