“All right then, I think it's time for you to hit the road, kiddo. Let's getmoving.”
I give him an odd look because he's rushing me. Dad doesn't rush me away from the house, ever. He's usually trying to figure out a way to make me stay longer,unless—”
Dad opens my car door and pats my seat. “Who is she?” I ask, grinning with mischievousness.“She? Who? What are you talking about?” Dad replies, looking confused, yet I can tell he'slying.
“Okay, Dad. I'll playalong.”
I slide into my seat, and he slams the door closed, but pokes his head in through the open window. “You know you were supposed to leave an hour ago,right?”
“Am I raining on your lady friend parade?” I crank my seat back and rest my hands behind my head. “Is it a little bit of Monica who's inyourlife?”
“Julia,” he says with a hint ofhaste.
“Ooh, do you like Erica byyourside?”
“Julia, please, mind your ownbusiness.”
“Rita. You said she was allyouneed.”
“Okay, now you're acting ridiculous. You're going to hit rush hour traffic if you don't getgoing.”
“Oh, my God, it's Tina you liketosee.”
Dad pushes away from my car and folds his arms over his burly chest. “Let me know when you're done singingMambo#5.”
“Fine, is it Sandra, Mary, orJessica?”
“Okay, now you're just being annoying. It's none of those women. God, you're just like youroldman.”
“Can't blame me for that,” I say, batting my eyelashesathim.
“Seriously though, you should leave. Just remember, I'm proud of you for getting this big newspaper internship in Maine. I know you'll make me proud and eat lots oflobstahs.”
Internship . . . sitting on the beach all summer with Jade . . . same thing, right? “I'll have a great time in a chilly office under fluorescent lights all the way up in Maine. Maybe I'll even get to write a piece about sharkattacks.”
“I don't think that's a thing in Maine,” he says, looking past my car and down the street. I can’t believe he’s nervous. Now, Ihaveto see who she is. If I just draw this conversation out a little longer, I'm sure I can make it happen. He always tries to hide his dating life, but I know what'sgoingon.
“Well, I do wish I could have met this woman of yours, but you're right, I don't want to hittraffic.”
“Maybe some other time. Okay, I love you. Drive safe, and don't look at any truck drivers who pass you. You'll give them thewrongidea.”
“What, that I'm like driving in the lane nexttothem?”
“You know whatImean.”
“She's a lucky woman, Dad. I can imagine how many ladies must be knocking on your door. You can't fool me.” I give him a wink and his cheeksburnred.
Dad looks down at his overgrown gut and grabs it like a bag of sand. “There aren't that many ladies who are eager to scoop this up,sweetie.”
“No one cares about those few extra pounds around your midsection. I mean, you might want to shave at some point and get a haircut, but then you’ll look so good you won’t even need a wingman. Unless you're going for the beard and man-bun look, but I don't think that’s the right lookforyou.
“Actually, I understand that look is quite popular with the ladies. You forgot to forward your subscription of Glamour to your school this past year, so I've been forced to read every article for the past eight months. I knowwhat'shot.”
“That’s disturbing,” Itellhim.
“It is what it is,” he says. “Okay, Jelly-Bean, I will see you in fourteen weeks.” He couldn't sound more eager to get rid of me. “Just, don’t forget aboutme,now.”
“I’m not Mom,” I assure him as I slip the key into theignition.
