The woman hands me the warm croissant wrapped in thin waxed paper along with the small coffee that smells a little bit like heaven right now. I hear the rumble of people entering the bakery, and I’m thanking my lucky stars I didn’t have to wait in whatever line is forming behind me. I scoot over to the selection of creamers and sugar, quickly creaming, sweetening, andstirring.
God, my thoughts are beginning to sound like Sterling’s. Howpleasant.
“Well, hello, Guppy.” No. I don’t have time. And really? Did I just summon him out of nowhere with my dirty thoughts? I don’t have the patience, nor do I have enough blood left in my face for more discomfort. I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear him. It’s super loud in here, so it’s totally possible. “Guppy!” Okay, so he’s getting louder now, but my name isn’t Guppy. Why in the world would I respond to that name of all names? Just because I happen to recognize his deep guttural, yet sex-laced voice does not mean he needs to know that. But his hand is on my back now, and the scent of his ... I don’t know ... is that some type of ocean-scented cologne or literally the scent of ... it’s salty. He smells like salt. It shouldn’t be a gross smell, but why does it smell so goddamn good?Okay, once again, no Julia.Right. Off. Track. Why does he have to look good, smell good, and make sexual innuendos toward me? I can’t believe he thinks that would gain my attention. Doesn’t he know I’m stronger than that? I am stronger than that, dammit. His amazing scent doesn’t faze meatall!
“I know you weren’t just calling me a guppy,” I tell him, careful to maintain my calm composure as I place the lid back on top of mycoffee.
“It’s a cute fish ... I wouldn’t take it as an insult,”Sterlingsays.
“Well, I’ll be late for work if I don’t get going. Nice seeing you again.” Keeping it casual isalwayskey.
“Looking forward to tonight,” he adds in. Crap. I almost forgot about that, possibly on purpose. I don’t know what it is, but he makes me nervous, and I’m not sure if it’s in a good way or a bad way. Confidence has never been an issue for me, but he is making me question myselfabit.
I hold my cup up and offer a slight smirk. “Yup, can’t wait.” I’m pretty sure that sounded as honest as I’m feeling, making me look a little like anasshole.
Breathe. Just breathe. It’s fine. I’m fine. Today is going togofine.
I repeat my mantra all the way to the car and while pulling out onto the main road. Why me? Why does this guy have an interest in me? Maybe none of this would have come about if Jade didn’t initiate a double date with his brother. I can’t even understand why she wants to go on a date with someone after breaking things off with Chip just weeks ago. I can understand she may be in need of some type of rebound, but that’s not my thing. I believe in letting a heart heal before letting anything else in, which may or may not be the reason for my one-year-long dry spell. Still, I haven’t seen those situations end well most of the time, but Jade has been my best friend long enough for me to know there is no talking her out of anything she has her mind set on. So, tonight is happening, and I’ll focus on keeping my hands and feet inside my personal space at all times, and no one will gethurt.Easy.
I inhale the croissant as if I haven’t eaten in a year and quickly down more coffee than I should. Now I have to pee, and I feel like I might regurgitate everything I just ate. This is what stress does to me. Next, my face will break out. What have I done to my simple little life? It’s normal for people to leave the nest, find their way, and do so happily. I can’t understand this rocky transition I appear to be having. Is it me, or just a bout of bad luck? Alrighty ... breathe. Nothing has even happened. This is all simple. I work with a jerk. That’s normal because Dad said there’s at least one jerk in everyone’s office. So, thatanswersthat.
I sprained my ankle running down the stairs ... totally normal ... I walk into walls at least onceaweek.
So then, the only other problem is that a hot guy wants to go out with me tonight, and it’s causing me to freak out. That may not be sonormal.
Maybe I’m justhomesick.
I take my phone from the cup holder and place the speaker end up toward my mouth. “Siri, call Dad.” I know he’s at work, but ... I need some sense slappedintome.
The phone only rings once before he picks up. “Jelly-Bean, you okay?” he whispers quietly. “I’matwork.”
“Daddddd,” I whine like a child. “There’s a boy being a jerk to me, another one likes me, Jade has lost her mind, I sprained my ankle yesterday, and ... yeah, that’s it, but I needed to hear yourvoice.”
Dad laughs under his breath as if what I just said was funny. “Jelly-Bean, be a jerk back to that guy. If you like the other one, be a jerk to him too ... that always works and put ice on your ankle. The problems plaguing your world have now beensolved.”
“Be a jerk to the guy who likes me?” I repeat, knowing he’sbeingDad.
“Yeah, that’s how a guy knows you likehimtoo.”
“Mmhm, I’m pretty sure that only works inkindergarten.”
“Still works throughout life; trust me.” Right. “What’s really going on,sweetie?”
I think for a long second, knowing he probably needs to get off the phone before his foreman catches him, but as my eyes blur with tears, I think of my room back home. I remember sitting on the couch with Dad at night while we watch ridiculous reality TV, and a pain enters my chest. “I’m just a little homesick, Iguess.”
Now he’s the one who’s silent for a minute. “Julia, you know home will always be here for you. I want you to enjoy your summer and learn everything you can at that big corporate job you scored the internship for. Make your dad proud. I bet you in a week’s time, you’ll be feeling much better about your situation, okay?” My big corporate job. I lied to him so he wouldn’t be upset about my decision to take the easy road for the summer before I start truly facing adult life and reality. “Honey, I have to run. Boss man is heading in this direction. Call me tonight if you want to talk some more. Love you, sweetie.Missyou.”
The phone goes silent before I have a chance to tell him I miss and love him too. It’s possible I’m feeling all this due to guilt because I’m lying to him, just like Mom always liedtohim.
As I pull into the Taylors’ driveway, I pull my visor down to peek in the mirror, and I’m reminded of what I look like ... which is a walking hangover from last night. Just beautiful. Way to look on my first real day of work. Nothing like showing up for a nanny job looking like adrunk.
I take the last sip of my coffee and hike up their rocky driveway. Do I ring the doorbell or just walk in? Technically, I live here for the next few months, so I shouldn’t have to ring—she gave me a key. Right. I twist the knob and finding it unlocked, I walk in to Samantha, her husband, Daniel, Dylan, and Liam. As much as I didn’t think I’d have any blood left in my face, I feel it boiling within mycheeksnow.
“We were worried about you last night,” Samantha comes right out with. “We know you aren’t very familiar with the area. Iseverythingokay?”
“Oh,” I nervously twist a short strand of hair behind my ear and croak out a small laugh. “Yeah, I crashed with a friend last night. I didn’t mean to worry anyone.” It is a little strange that they were worried. I’m their employee, not their daughter, but ... I guess they’re just nicepeople.
“Ah, great then. I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself after work hours,” Samantha chirps with a pleasant smile. “Julia, this is Daniel and Dylan.” She points to Daniel first. He’s on the younger side, like Samantha. I figure they’re both in their mid-thirties. He’s tall, with dark hair and dark eyes, and has a look of business written across his face. His smile is welcoming, but his perfectly pressed slacks and starched shirt feel mildly intimidating. Then there’s Dylan. He’s slouched on the couch with an iPod clutched between his hands and a set of eyes that look as if they’re frozen wide open. He has the little surfer dude look going on with his long board shorts, flip flops, and long, spikylighthair.
