Jade drops down to her knees in front of her tiny closet and tosses several pairs of shoes out before she finds a matching pair. “Come on, get dressed,” she says, ignoring myquestion.
I stand up from the bed and kneel beside her shoe pile, catching her arm in mid swing. I pull her toward me and wrap my arms around her. “How could you keep thisfromme?”
A struggling breath rips through her as she falls limp against me. “I didn’t tell you because,” a faint cry hitches in her throat. “I’m a horribleperson.”
“I’m a horribleperson.”
“You didn’t really cheat on him,didyou?”
She pulls her head back, looking me square in the eyes. “No, I didn’tcheat.”
“Then why did you say you did, and what could possibly make you a horribleperson?”
Jade drags her finger beneath her eye, wiping away a falling tear. “I’m only twenty-two, and I’m not ready to commit to someone for the rest of my life. God, the rest of my life is like…I don’t know, I hope seventy more years or something. That’s a long freaking time to be with someone who says things like ‘yipes,’ and ‘holy moly.’ I just, I have cold feet so I broke it off.” I reach behind me for the box of tissues on the milk crate she’s using as a night stand. She takes a tissue and continues, “Well, actually, I told him I cheated on him. I figured he wouldn’t want to talk things out and convince me to change my mind if Isaidthat.”
Holy crap. Jade and I tell each other everything, and she left this out of every conversation we’ve had over the past month. “Is he okay?” For some reason, I feel worse for Chip than I do for Jade at the moment. It’s one thing to break up with someone, but it’s another to break up with someone because you cheated. “You know, if you talked to me, I probably could have helped you come up with a very different reason for breaking things off, one that didn’t include you sounding like asleazygirl.”
“He’s fine,” she responds quickly. “It was like he seemed relieved, which just makes this all worse. He wasn’t even jealous or upset. Even if I had really cheated, he wouldn’t havecared.”
“Maybe that’s what he wanted you to think. People do hide their feelings, you know?” Considering this is one of the most serious conversations Jade and I have had over the years, I can’t begin to imagine what is going through her headrightnow.
“I’m selfish,” she says. “As soon as the words came out and I saw his lack of reaction, I felt like I had made a huge mistake, but it was too late. What was I supposed to do? Tell him I was just kidding, testing him to see how much he loves me? It was over. I think it was meant to be over. God, can you imagine, I could have possibly ended up divorced before turning twenty-five. I’d have this black mark on my relationship status for the rest of my life before I should have even considered settling down with someone. I should never have accepted the ring or told him I wanted to marry him. I can hardly live with myself sometimes, never mind a man who forgets to put the toilet seat down and likes to eat fish every night.” It sounds like she’s taken the month to come up with reasons why she shouldn’t be hurting. There was an in-between choice, which would include pushing back the wedding date, but I’m sure she considered the thought and bringing that up right nowwon’thelp.
“This is why you came out here for the summer, isn’t it?” She told me it was to save money for their wedding, but now it looks as if she wasrunningaway.
“Originally, I told him I needed some time to think, but I couldn’t leave him wondering, so I said what I said beforeIleft.”
“If you needed time, you needed time.” I still would have left the cheating part out, but I’m guessing she’s figured that outbynow.
“I still love him, Jules. That’s the worst part about this. I was just scared.” I figured that was the case, which explains herbehavior.
“Drinking isn’t going to make that go away.” I stand up, pulling her with me. “You know thatright?”
“I just want to have fun right now. So, have fun withme,okay?”
I grab the dress she’s lending me and nudge her to the side as I make my way into her hairspray and burnt-hair-infusedbathroom.
It doesn’t take long to make myself up. It’s why I like to keep my hair at chin-length. Within five minutes, I flip my ends into different directions and add a little product to give it the rocker chick messy look, instantly transforming myself from nanny intoparty-girl.
“Do you need shoes?” Jade asks as I shut off the lights in thebathroom.
“Nah, I’ll be okay with myflats.”
Rather than respond, she skips over to me and tugs at the ends of my hair, admiring it as if she’s looking for a piece out of place. “I like the dark roots and the bleached chunks. It’s very surferish—andyou.”
“My hair has looked like this for two years,” Iremindher.
“Well, now you fit in,” she says through a teasinglaugh.
“You’re draggingme to a place called Lovers Inn for dinner?” I ask as we enter through the door with a glowing heart hanging in the frontwindow.
“You love me, don’t you?” Jade and all her quirkiness can’t be taken down, unless you’re her ex-fiancée.
The restaurant doesn’t look much like an inn. In fact, it’s more bar than restaurant. We walk to the end, finding two stools between the side windows and the rounded corner ofthebar.
Within a minute of settling down onto the stools, a waiter reaches between Jade and me, handing us each a menu. “Well, if it isn’t the girl whocan’tswim.”
His voice and accent are familiar, and his joke is as mortifying as it made me feel so early this morning. I swivel around on my stool, careful to keep my knees pinned together in this tight minidress.
