He strides toward me, his head cocked to one side. "You aren’t giving up on me, are you?" he asks with a wicked grin.
I shrug off his question, doing my best to appear disinterested in his scowl as I glance around the bar. "Not that easily," I mutter. His hand flies toward me and locks around my wrist as he pulls me outside and around to the back of the building.
"Coming here isn’t the way to keep testing me," he says, right before he corners me against a nasty smelling dumpster.
My heart is pounding, and I want to feel my pulse race even faster. After all, that's why I came back tonight. "Then, what is the right way?" I see frustration and a little confusion running through his eyes. The situation I'm in right now is stupid, and I love every moment of it. I'm beginning to consider the thought that something might seriously be wrong with my mental state, seeing as I don't know this guy, and he could kill me if he wanted to, but only a small part of me is considering this man dangerous. The other ignorant, desperate parts of me are intrigued.
"You can't be doing this shit," he tells me as he pins my shoulders against the wall. "You're going to get yourself killed, or worse, if you keep coming to this bar."
"Are you going to hurt me?" I ask with more confidence than I should be allowed to have right now.
"Seriously, what in the hell is wrong with you?" He looks down at my clothes. "You are not from this town, and you do not belong here associating with someone like me. Don’t you know I'm what your people call filth? A bum. A loser. An ingrate. I mow the lawn for your fucking parents."
"Maybe you should consider that might be the reason I'm fascinated by you." I feel breathless as I try to explain myself. "I've been fighting against being the person you think I am. I'mnotwho you think I am." Am I trying to convince him or myself of this?
"Look, Haven, I get it. I do. Everyone around you is uptight, and you're desperate for a good time." He's so much taller than I am. I should feel inferior to him by the way he's hovering over me, but instead, I'm a little excited. "But besides the fact that I'm a big fucking nothing, I need to stay the hell away from the mayor's daughter. Fromyou.”
"I thought you had to stay away from me because you don’t date girls you pick up in bars, oh, and because I’m too young. In any case, you sure do have a lot of reasons to stay away from me. Maybe just pick one and stick with it.” I groan, irritated with myself for thinking he’d be happy to see me tonight, after the way last night ended. I was wrong. “You know what,” I say, laughing with spite. “I'm going back into the bar. I'm having fun tonight, and no one is going to stop me from doing that. Besides…” I shrug. “There were plenty of good looking men in there tonight just waiting for the right girl to walk through those doors." I know I’m pushing his buttons, but that’s what he gets for messing with my head.
He presses away from the wall, balling his fists by his waist. "Are you even listening to yourself? Jesus, you're a young girl.I'mprobably the youngest guy in that bar except for Crow, and we both know you're asking for trouble if you go back in there."
"True, but by the looks of the pretty woman you were sitting with in there, it appears you're just a trouble magnet." My heart has sunken into the pit of my stomach, and I don't know what's coming out of my mouth at this point. In any case, my words make him smile. He has a sweet smile—bright white teeth and lips that curl into a crooked angle. Although, describing any part of him as sweet doesn’t quite work with his personality at the moment.
Again, he's in my space, leaning up against me as his large, calloused hand cups around my cheek. "I feel sorry for the life you think you have. It’s obvious you've been deprived of freedom," he says in a hoarse whisper. "On the contrary, I've been given too much freedom." I'm not sure where he's going with his words or actions, but I take it all in, listening carefully, even to the words that aren't being spoken. A slight breeze blows between us, becoming wordless whispers of what I wish was a mutual understanding, one that would define each of our differences. "Haven, we'll never see eye to eye."
"I don't care," I tell him, being honest. I want out of my world, and it seems to me that he wants out and away from his, as well.
"You don't even know me," he says. "Why do you look at me like you do? Why did you want me to kiss you last night? It makes no sense."
His words embarrass me a little, and they should because they're the truth. Except, I do have a reason. "You want to know why I look at you the way I do?" I ask. "It's because I have a desire to be around ordinary people, and you're the first one to come anywhere near my house since we moved in five years ago."
"Normal," he laughs. "You don't get it. You just, you don't get it."
"You're right." To refrain from sounding childish and repeating his words to use against him, I push away and walk toward the street.Maybe he is right.I'm so far removed from the person I once was that I don’t know if I will ever be able to figure out who I should be now. If no one else sees me for the personIthink I am, then maybe I'm the one who's confused.
"Where are you going?" he shouts after me as I turn the corner.
"Home. This was a mistake."
"Yeah, coming to find me at a dive bar with forty bikers is more than just a mistake, Haven; it's fucking stupid. Smarten up, will ya!" He's still shouting as he follows me around to the front of the building.
"We're all stupid at some point in our lives. Clearly, you've had your moments so don't rain all over my damn parade." My shouts filter through the air as I make my way halfway down the street. Screw him and his good looks. You can't always cover up rudeness with entrancing eyes and a perfect smile.
