The two wolves who supposedly wanted to publicly escort us around town were the most handsome I’d seen so far—which was saying something in a mountain kingdom town bursting with strong-jawed males who took particular pride in the swell of their calf muscles underneath the kilts they always wore.
With a sinking heart, I watched the light in their twinkling eyes dim as we approached the stone brook bridge where Malcolm and Gavin had asked us to meet. They both wrinkled their noses when Amanda introduced me as “my dear friend, Sadie Ellis.”
I had no idea she knew my actual surname wasn’t the Wölfennite Dietsch version of "shadow" before that.
However, the pleasantness of that discovery was completely erased by the heart-sinking realization that we’d all been tricked.
Amanda had obviously told these two handsome males, who stiffly introduced themselves, that she’d bring a friend on their courting walk. And they’d obviously been expecting Priscilla, or Orpah, or any of the other Wölfennites I’d heard described as right bonnie during our weeks in Faoiltiarn.
Instead, they’d gotten me. The one Wölfennite who offered Amanda absolutely zero competition.
“I’ll lead the way with Amanda!” Malcolm declared, his glossy shoulder-length brown hair shining in the setting sun. He took Amanda by the arm like someone calling dibs.
Gavin cursed softly in Gaelic, then raked a frustrated hand through his shaggy blond hair before falling in beside me. He wore the same expression St. Ailbe teens did when they found their name on the list to attend to the community latrine that month.
I’d taken a shower and scrubbed my entire body with the heather I’d brought back from the cave for this.
My stomach churned, miserable and embarrassed, as we set off on our courting walk.
Malcolm walked close with Amanda, laughing and flirting, while Gavin shuffled along, as far away as he could get from me on the narrow cobblestone path.
He averted his head whenever another Faoiltiarn wolf passed by, suddenly becoming very interested in the skyline, as if he had no idea who I was and just happened to be on the same path as me during his evening birdwatching stroll.
I’d never seen anyone put so much effort intonotsignaling interest.
Speaking of birdwatching, I fingered the Scottish finch I’d carved in my pocket, wishing I was still back at my cave. It had only been meant as a temporary shelter while I shifted for the full moon, but I’d found the place oddly comforting. A sense of belonging had stolen over me there. And maybe that was why I dragged my feet about returning to the Exchange House I shared with the rest of the Wölfennites.
The cave’s all-encompassing quiet had been nice. The heavy silence that hung above me while Gavin and I walked behind Amanda and Malcolm was nothing short of excruciating.
My mind raced as I tried to come up with something to say to my reluctant “date.”
Before I could, Gavin surprised me by speaking first. “I have a question I’ve been wanting to ask you for a while now, Sadie, ever since you lot arrived in our little kingdom town.”
I turned my head to find him finally looking at me, his gaze soft. A kernel of hope began to sprout in my chest. Maybe I had read this situation wrong. Maybe he was awkward, too, and the silence had been nervousness on his part. Maybe we were more alike than I?—
“What’s going on with the banrigh’s sister, Naomi, then? I’ve seen her out and about with you plenty of times. But from what I’ve heard, she hasn’t accepted any of our males’ invitation for a courting walk.”
Oh. He only wanted to talk to me about Naomi.
I couldn’t say I blamed him. Naomi was gorgeous inside and out. And the kind of person who would say the same thing about me. I knew that for a fact because she often did—with a straight face. “God, I wish I had your bushy hair instead of these limp curls.…Your skin color is so dark and lovely.… I love the way you smell—so different from everyone else....Ugh! I’m so jealous. Why can’t I be tall and awe-inspiring like you? It’s like being best friends with an overly humble goddess. I swear, these guys should be building you an altar.”
Those were just a few of the things Naomi had said to me over the years, despite covetous actions like spoken comparison and even the mention of false god worship being strictly forbidden under the St. Ailbe Ordnung. And the crazy thing was, she’d meant it.
Naomi actually thought I was the most attractive person she knew, while she referred to her own ethereal looks as “an unlucky accident of unwanted symmetry.”
She truly was the best friend an uber-odd she-wolf like me could have.
And that made my jealousy feel even worse.
But while my best friend was convinced I was a catch, the Scottish wolves obviously didn’t share her lovingly biased view. And if I didn’t find someone willing to mate with me before the end of the exchange year, I’d have to go back to Canada.
Back to my mother and the childless, mateless path she’d already laid out for me....
“You filthy, ungrateful slut! Do you think they’ll want you over there in Scotland? None of these wolves will ever want you. How many times do I have to tell you that? Why won’t you listen to me, you idiot girl?”
My mother’s screeches as the bus pulled away echoed in my head.
“Are you not giving her any of the notes our lads have been passing on, then?”
