The memory abruptly shifted, and the perspective became clearer, sharper.
I realized I was seeing Hawk’s version of events now.
Because Koda didn’t want to upset me.
Well, I’m here to tell you that plan did not work.
Tears welled in my eyes as Hawk’s memories unfurled.…
Him and Leif screeching up to the clubhouse, the tires of the RCMP Chevy Tahoe spewing gravel.
Jumping out of the passenger seat to find Koda lying on the ground beneath the feral bear. His face and chest shredded, his guts bulging out from an open flap in his stomach.
Hawk’s brother has his claw raised in the air, ready to strike the final blow.
“Wait!” I tore myself out of Koda’s arms and turned on Hawk. “That feral bear is yourbrother?”
Hawk shrugged and threw me a sad smile. “Yeah, more than one of us disproved that ‘far from the stem’ theory of Emerson’s. He’s been a bear since his early twenties, thanks to a particularly fucked-up case of PTSD after serving in a black ops unit. So no, he wasn’t exactly following in any of our parents’ footsteps either.”
His voice remained its usual non-pitying shade of gravel and grit, but I could feel the regret and guilt he felt for helping his brother descend even further into madness when he was dishonorably discharged from the Canadian forces rather than getting him the help he needed.
Hawk was doing his best to walk a road of redemption now, but…
“I’ll never forgive myself for that,”he confessed inside my head.
“Anyway,” Koda said, speaking over our mental communication. “If Hawk hadn’t shown up and used his brother card to negotiate for my life and get the Iron Claw to leave us all alone, only two of your maul would be here right now.”
“We got there just in time!” Leif said, injecting more cheer into his voice than a story that grisly and emotionally complicated probably warranted. “But it took Koda’s bear a while to fix him up, and Hawk said it wasn’t safe to move him.”
Hawk regarded me with an apologetic look. “That’s why we weren’t there when you woke up.”
“And why we didn’t make it back to the den for hours and hours,” Koda added. “But we’re here now, Holly.”
Yes, they were. “I’m so glad you’re alive.” Relief coursed through me, warm and heady.
But then I found myself shaking my head with a confusing mix of frustration and regret. “I just wish you’d told me any of this before you all left. What does it mean that we were talking about making a whole life together when we don’t even have basic communication down?”
All three of them flinched, their combined guilt rippling through Hawk’s bites.
“You’re right. I should’ve trusted you. I should’ve trusted all of you,” Koda said finally, his voice low and steady. “That’s how I ended up with another black eye.”
“Hawk!” I swatted his shoulder, glaring. “You punched him after your brother nearly killed him?”
“No, not him. Me.”
Leif pointed to himself with both thumbs, grinning like a kid showing off straight-As. “Then I told him I’d report him for misusing RCMP resources if he didn’t let us bite him.”
“He didn’t have to threaten me,” Koda muttered, sounding both defensive and begrudgingly amused. “I was all in, even before he and Hawk showed up to save my life.”
“Still, look what we’ve all got now!” Leif crowed, grabbing both of Koda’s wrists and lifting them to show off the bond bites. He was practically glowing with pride.
They were bonded now. An obvious, true maul.
Which only left me more confused.
“I don’t really know what to say here,” I admitted, looking between them. “A few minutes ago, I thought you’d completely abandoned me, and now… this.”
I waved my hands around vaguely, trying to encompass all of it.
