I hesitated. I didn’t… I didn’t want to hurt him.
But that was just the estrus talking, wasn’t it? Overly caring about someone I’d met less than a week ago—someone I barely knew outside of his cooking and criminal records—wasn’t logical. Or sane.
Steel hardened my voice—and my heart—as I assured him, “That’s all youwillbe to me after this estrus is done.”
Hawk was basically a walking slab of prison muscle with a proven track record of knowing how to handle himself in a physical fight. But his head jerked back like I’d delivered a knockout punch.
Then… a terrible, angry sadness replaced the challenge in his amber gaze. “You’re right. This shit wasn’t on my vision board. I’m outta here.”
He turned and stormed toward the scuffed combat boots he’d lined up neatly next to my Hokas and Leif’s brown Sorels underneath the newly banistered stairs. His broad shoulders were tight with barely contained rage.
Good. Good.I’d finally broken through to him.
Relief warred with the sudden hollow ache in my chest.
But then he stopped. “No, fuck that.”
He turned, his eyes blazing as he strode back to me, and this time, he didn’t stop at the nest’s border.
“You don’t get to do that!” he informed me, getting directly in my face. “Dismiss me like I’m nothing. I’m not going to let you treat me like your shitty ex-husband treated you just because you’re scared.”
The comparison to Corey sliced through me. “That’s not fair?—”
"No, it isn’t." He cut me off, his voice raw and unyielding. "Because I’m a dirty ex-con who will use anything—anything—to win a fight. My fists, my words, my jagged little literary quotes. That’s why Koda, and probably you too, would’ve preferred my clean, responsible little brother. But guess what?I’mthe one who fucking loves you." He jabbed a finger into his chest. "I’mthe one willing to fight as dirty as it takes to get you tobite one of us so that we can put a cub inside you before you lose the chance. Because I know…”
His expression softened, but the fire in his eyes continued to burn. “Ican feelthat’s what you want! More than anything. And, baby, I will fight like hell to get you what you desire most in this world—even when you’re too fucking scared to fight for it yourself."
“Hawk,” I said, straining to keep my voice level. “You’re being crazy.”
“Yeah, I am, andI don’t care.” Hawk laughed. A sharp, bitter, cutting sound. “I know I don’t deserve you like these two Dudleys. And I’m so crazy, I already decided you’re my endgame anyway—that I was put on this earth to spend the rest of my life earning your bite. Because I love the fuck out of you, and that’s what’s really got you so upset, ain’t it?”
“What are you even saying?” I couldn’t stay calm anymore. I lean forward to shout right up in his face, too. “You don’t know me! Not for real. And nothing you’re arguing makes any kind of sense in the real world!”
"I don’t know you?" Hawk’s voice became a churning gravel pit. "You ignored every red flag, every gut feeling, and married your ex because you thought some idiot who actually believed he was settling for you was the best you could do!"
His eyes bore into mine. "And now, you’re scrambling for some safe excuse—some bullshit, medical explanation—so you don’t have to deal with the fact that Koda’s loyalty, Leif’s devotion, and my bat-shit-crazy, all-consuming love are real! You can’t handle it, Holly. You’re terrified of what it means to actually be chosen—for once in your life—and now you’re running, shoving us away, because you know I’m right!"
I flinched, then opened my mouth to defend myself against his completely wrong rundown of my motivations. But he wasn’t finished.
"You don’t want to claim us because you can’t handle a real man. Real love." His words hit like rapid-fire gut punches—hard and unrelenting."You’d rather run back to your love-and-child-free life in Vancouver than take a chance on this… on us… and commit to our maul. So sure, be sensible, Holly."
Hawk sneered, his lip curling. “Pretend this is just about fucking until your estrus is done when really, it’s aboutyou! You being a fucking coward.”
My hand moved before I could think, and my bear was stronger than I knew.
The slap cracked through the den, louder than I expected, and Hawk’s head snapped to the side with the strength of my direct hit.
Then he turned back slowly as a dark bruise mark bloomed across his cheek. But he didn’t touch it. He didn’t speak. Just stared at me, his amber eyes glowing like embers as his bear growled audibly from deep inside his chest.
My eyes flashed, too, and my bear growled back at him.
Right before I exploded forward and sunk my maw into Hawk’s shoulder.
20/
waking up
holly
