Her first smile since he’d returned outside appeared. “I do.”
“Take good care of her. She’s special.”
“Don’t worry. She’ll be well loved and cared for.”
With nothing more to say, Tiffany left with Lilly. Sadness filled his heart as he watched them walk away. It felt like he’d lost Tiffany a second time, which was crazy because that briefest of interaction just now meant nothing.
He sunk down in a patio chair, patted his leg for one of the other pups to come over. Simon, the smallest of the litter waddled to him. Connor picked him up and place the small dog in his lap.
The back door opened. Mrs. Leola stepped onto the porch and grinned. “I see we have one less puppy.”
“And I see you recovered from your headache awfully quickly,” he shot back.
She winked. “Almost as suddenly as it came on.”
“That wasn’t nice.”
“You weren’t being very nice.”
Despite her advanced age, Mrs. Leola’s mind was sharp, and Connor admired her, even when she called him out on his nonsense. “I apologized.”
“The words we speak are like throwing a handful of glitter. Even when you try to clean it all up, there will be some that are impossible to catch.”
He felt all of an inch tall. “I know that, but she caught me off guard.”
“That’s when our actions speak the most about our character.” She lowered herself into the chair beside him. “I know you’re a good man. You’re kind and generous and selfless. But I saw a side of you this morning I haven’t seen, born from years of allowing bitterness to fester.”
“I thought I was enough for her, but I wasn’t. Our love, what we shared, it wasn’t enough for her to give up the drugs.” In all these years, he hadn’t spoken with anyone about the breakup. He’d refused, simply saying they’d gone their separate ways. But everyone knew there was more. Much more that he hadn’t voiced, yet he didn’t believe they knew about the drugs. No one ever mentioned it.
“Addiction never makes sense to those on the outside. It’s complicated and messy and ugly.”
“You sound like you have experience.”
Mrs. Leola closed her eyes and for a moment, she mentally went somewhere Connor didn’t know. “My brother served in Vietnam and came home a changed man like so many others who went. He found solace in the rampant drug use of the sixties.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, at a loss for words.
“Me too. We pleaded with him to get help, but what he needed was intensive therapy to cope with what he had seen. Unfortunately, help for mental health wasn’t nearly what it is today.” She stared off in the distance. “He tried. So hard. But he couldn’t beat the demons, and he overdosed. My baby sister was the one who found him.”
“I…I’m really sorry,” he repeated.
“I’m not making excuses for Jerry. Ultimately, he was responsible for his life and decisions, but his drug use didn’t negate all the wonderful qualities he had. He was a beloved son, brother, and father. I know without a doubt that he loved me and my siblings, our parents. Most of all, he loved his son.” She reached over and laid her hand on his. Shifted her gaze to meet his. “I understand your pain in a way many wouldn’t, but you have to let go of the anger or it will eat you alive.”
“It’s hard.”
“No one said it isn’t.” A gentleness came over her. “Have you considered that her appearance today was God speaking to you?”
He blinked. “No.”
“I’ve never believed in coincidences.”
“What are you saying?” He needed clarity, for her to spell it out for him.
“Though I loved my brother, I was angry with him. I almost didn’t go to his funeral because I was so mad, and I’ll never be able to tell him in person that I forgive him.”
Slowly, he understood. “But it’s not too late for me to tell Tiffany?”
“That’s between you and her, but I do believe God wanted to get your attention. Maybe you didn’t realize the level of pain still in you caused by that situation, but it’s time to heal.”
He didn’t speak for a long time as he processed what Mrs. Leola had said. It all made sense. In practice, though? He wasn’t certain how easy that would be.
But he would try.
