By his wide eyes and gaping jaw, she wasn’t sure if he was more surprised by her announcement or the way she’d issued it.
“I did not know that,” he said in a guarded tone.
“At least I know you didn’t run a background check on me.” A nervous giggle escaped.
“That would have been unethical.” He clasped his hands in front of him. “Was it anyone I knew?”
She shook her head. “After I left college, I had to find a full-time job. I worked in food nutrition at a nursing home, and Brad was a nurse there.”
“Brad-that was your husband?”
“Unfortunately, so. He was charming at first, and I was flattered he paid attention to me. Life hadn’t exactly been going well for me, and it gave my ego a boost.” She pulled the blanket up to her neck. Going into this part of the story left her feeling exposed. “After a month of dating, he asked me to marry him.”
Pain filled Connor’s eyes. Jealousy even? “Did you love him?”
“It was so complicated.” She leaned her head back, too ashamed to meet his eyes. “He knew about my addiction and didn’t judge me. Not only that, but he helped me get the drugs while offering me a home and a life I thought I’d lost.”
When she dared to look at him, his facial muscles were taut. “How did he get the drugs?”
She didn’t answer right away. Had to fight the lump of emotion in her throat. “He was stealing them from the nursing home residents.”
Connor’s face turned red. She could see him try to control himself. “Did you know?”
She shook her head again, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I was so stupid. I probably should have guessed, but I didn’t want to question him as long as he kept them coming. Ignorance was bliss, except my marriage was never exactly blissful.”
“What do you mean?” he asked in a tempered tone.
“Brad used my addiction to his advantage. He convinced me to leave my job, which didn’t take much effort because I hated it, and he would take care of me. What he did was take my lows and dependence on him and used them against me, made me believe I deserved everything I got.” She flinched at the memories and hugged herself under the blanket. It never got easier to relive those horrible moments of her life.
He eyed her warily. “When you say you deserve what you got….”
Nodding, she confirmed what he wouldn’t finish voicing. “I stayed in an abusive marriage for three years.”
“I’m so sorry.” He stretched out his arm, like he wanted to comfort her but wasn’t sure if she’d be receptive. Ultimately, he dropped his hand to his side.
“Me too.” She swallowed hard. “People ask why I didn’t sooner, or why did I even marry him? I’ve even had people say I deserved it, and you know what? I thought I did. I’d made bad choice after bad choice, so surely I had to suffer the consequences, right?”
Angry tears rolled down her face in rivulets. So much judgment. So much time lost. She hadn’t realized Conner had left her seat and kneeled beside her until she felt his strong arms wrap around her. His hands rubbed her back, touching her gently in a way no other man ever had.
“I’m so sorry, Tiffany, I’m so sorry,” he repeated softly in her ear.
Her sobs subsided at last. Connor pulled away from her, putting distance between them.
It was for the best, she thought. His arms around her were far too comfortable, much too nice feeling.Who am I kidding? Nice doesn’t even begin to describe it.
When he sat back down, it was in her old captain’s chair, the one piece of furniture she’d kept from the old house. “For what it’s worth, you didn’t deserve that. No one, no matter their past or current or future situation, deserves abuse.”
“Thank you.” His words were a balm to her weary heart. “If I hadn’t found God, I’m not sure when or if I would have discovered that for myself.”
“You’re a Christian?” A pleasant surprise echoed in his question. It had been the only thing they’d fought about throughout their relationship. Until the drugs, that was.
“A friend I’d made from the nursing home invited me to church. She knew Brad was working and I’d have no excuse. I only went on the condition she promised we’d take the backroads instead of passing the nursing home because if Brad saw me out, there would be a price to pay when he got home.”
“I don’t even have words.”
“It’s a lot to take in, I know.” She pressed forward with her story before the bad memories could overcome her again. “Anne Marie, my friend from the nursing home, pulled some strings and arranged it so Brad worked every Sunday morning so I could attend church with her. I never told her, but she knew somehow.”
“Angel in disguise,” Connor whispered.
