“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He ran down the steps, not wasting time to wait for an elevator.
He glanced around the lobby then went outside when he didn’t see Matt. Quickly, he scanned the parking lot for any departing vehicles but saw none that matched Monica’s descriptions. He walked down each aisle until he came to a black sedan with a man inside, his head pressed against the steering wheel. Slowly approaching the car, he took caution not to startle Matt. He lightly knocked on the window.
Matt sat up, and tears streamed down his face. He put the window down, and his voice was void of emotion when he spoke. “I guess Monica told you what I said.”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking right.” Matt bit down on his bottom lip. “Be good to her. She’s a wonderful woman, completely in love with you. Carrie was so excited for the two of you.”
He measured his words carefully. “We all say things in grief we don’t mean.”
“I can’t think straight.”
“Understandable.” He gripped the doorframe. “It’s been a long day, and I could use some coffee. Why don’t you join me?”
Matt flinched. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“You can’t leave here like this. Emily’s lost her mom—she can’t lose her dad, too.”
“One cup, that’s all I can offer right now.” After closing the window, Matt exited the car.
Silently, they walked to the hospital cafeteria. Rex bought them two cups of coffee that smelled stale but would suffice. Matt shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable and wanting to bolt.
Knowing he didn’t have much time, he jumped right in. “Before I met Monica, I was pretty wild. I partied a lot and lived life on my own terms, but I wasn’t always like that. My freshman year of college, I met a girl, Lisa, and fell in love. I realize now it was only puppy love, but at the time she was my world.” He paused to take a deep breath. “Monica and my brother, Lucas, are the only other people who know the end to this story.”
Matt arched a brow. “I’m assuming it’s not good?”
He shook his head, not wanting to relive those memories but would if it helped Matt. “Fall semester was almost over, and we made plans for her to come home with me for the holidays. We thought we’d have forever and I wanted her to meet my family. The week before finals, we had a date, but she never showed up. I tried calling her, but she wouldn’t answer. I was worried because she always had her phone right by her. Finally, I called her suitemate, who went to her room to check on her. She found Lisa, dead in her bed. She had an undiagnosed heart condition and went suddenly in her sleep.”
“I’m sorry,” Matt said.
“I know it doesn’t begin to compare to the severity of what you’re facing, but to a point I can understand. But I handled it all wrong. I retreated into myself and didn’t talk to anyone about it. I even lied to my family, telling them we broke up. That’s when I started partying all the time. Life seemed so random and you never knew when your time’s up. With that thought, life became pointless.”
“How’d you break out of it?”
“It took a few years, but I pulled myself together. I locked up my heart, though, because I never wanted to feel that pain again. I never got involved with a relationship and went from one girl to the next for a good time. Looking back, I wish I would have told my family. You’re lucky to have your family around. Open up to them and let them in. But most importantly, you have a daughter now that will need you even more in the years to come.”
Matt looked up, still unsure of anything, and his tone took on a bitter edge. “God could have saved her.”
Rex gulped his coffee. He’d figured that topic would surface eventually, and he wasn’t prepared. There was no good answer to give. “We’ll likely never know this side of heaven why He didn’t. The only thing to do is trust in His faithfulness and treasure the time you had with Carrie.
Man, he wished he was a theologian who could give a full answer on why bad things happen to good people and why didn’t God save those innocent lives from tragedy. But the truth was, his own relationship with God was shaky, and he’d only recently stepped up to restore it.
He crumbled the empty cup in his hand. “Emily’s due for a feeding. Do you think you can be there for her and give her that bottle? Just a little step, one at a time?”
Matt exhaled and didn’t respond for nearly a minute. “Let’s go.”
ChapterEighteen
Early Monday morning, Monica woke up still exhausted and weary, but hopeful about the small shift in Matt. He’d fed Emily, staying with her several hours, before agreeing to let his sister stay the night with her.
She trudged out of bed, slipped her arms through a fuzzy robe Mom had lent her, and cinched the belt tightly over her pajamas—the comfy ones Carrie had gifted her. Plodding down the hallway, she stopped at the guest bedroom and knocked. “Are you awake?”
“Yes,” Rex answered from inside.
“Can I come in?”
“It’s unlocked.”
