“You are precious, little girl.” she hummed as she reached for the bottle. With a timeless instinct, Emily began sucking as the bottle reached her miniscule lips.
“Look Rex, she’s doing it. I can’t believe I am feeding a baby for the first time in my life.”
Rex nodded. His throat constricted, and he watched her with eyes full of love. “You’re a natural.”
“Carrie never had a chance to feel her child in her arms or see her first smile. And Emily will never know the comforting touch of her mother’s hug. Why does life have to be so unfair?” A few tears escaped as the grief threatened to swallow her again. Only her love for Emily kept her strong.
Rex knelt beside her, wiping the tears with his thumb. “I don’t know. There are no easy answers or even explanations. I promise you that we will do our part to ensure Emily knows how much we love her. We can come visit as often as you want, and when she’s older, maybe Matt will let her come stay with us during the summer months to spend time with the cousins she will have. But she will never doubt that she is loved, and her mother’s memory will always be kept alive.”
They’d entered a scene typically meant for married couples celebrating the birth of their child, and the poignancy wasn’t lost on her. “I love you, Rex.”
He bent over and kissed her forehead. “I love you, too.”
“Did you know my last words in person with Carrie are what brought me back to you?”
A lazy smile spread over his mouth. “I’ll be forever in her debt.”
His smile erased the last of her tears. “I think she is smiling down from Heaven. When I was home during that same trip, she asked me to be Emily’s godmother. I thought I was an odd choice, since I was single, foot loose and fancy free. I questioned her decision, and she simply said ‘because I love you and you’re full of passion that will carry to everything you do. I want Emily to know that same passion for life.’ Little did we know then that as my life was changing, her life would come to an abrupt end.”
There was a knock on the door and Diana walked in, effectively ending the conversation. “How’d our little princess do?”
“She took it all.” Monica held up the empty bottle with pride.
“Great job, Emily,” Diana cooed, reaching to take the baby back. “If you’re still here in two hours, you’re welcome to feed her again.” She left, pushing Emily’s bassinet back to the nursery.
“Carrie left us with the ultimate gift.” Monica turned to Rex, a smile on her face. “We’re all going to get through this aren’t we?”
He slid an arm around her waist. “With God’s help, yes.”
ChapterSeventeen
Back in the reception area, he and Monica settled into their rigid chairs again. Fatigue set in, and Monica leaned her head on Rex’s chest. He watched her eyes droop and flutter. Before she could fall asleep, her stomach grumbled.
The loud noise concerned him. “When was the last time you ate?”
“Yesterday?” She shrugged and sighed.
“I’m getting you something to eat.” He stood slowly, giving her time to sit upright. “What do you want?”
“A sandwich and drink will be fine.”
“I’ll be right back. I love you.” Since receiving the news of Carrie, he’d told Monica often that he loved her. Life was too short to skimp on affection.
Taking a detour on his search for the cafeteria, he wandered outside for fresh air. On the brink of an overload, he needed someone to talk to. If anyone might understand, Lucas would.
He called his brother, was tempted to hang up before Lucas answered. The recent past had created a vulnerability to which he wasn’t accustomed, and he wasn’t comfortable with the amount of deep, soul searching conversations he’d had lately. With Monica he didn’t mind so much, but they left him feeling raw and exposed with anybody else.
Lucas answered, ending any thoughts of hanging up. “I’m glad you called. How’s Monica? Beau told me what happened. I would have called immediately, but I’ve been in the field for two weeks with no phone.”
“I’ve never been so glad to hear a familiar voice.” He leaned against the brick wall. “You’d think I’ve traveled enough that leaving home wouldn’t bother me, but under these circumstances everything seems so foreign. Monica is doing better though. How much did Beau tell you?”
“Not a lot of details, just that you and Monica are together, and her sister passed away, so you went to her family’s home in Pennsylvania. It may not seem the time to say so, but I’m glad everything worked out for you two. I’ve been praying for you.”
“Thank, and there’s more that Beau didn’t tell you.” He had to draw a calming breath before continuing. “Monica’s sister was eight months pregnant when she was killed. They were able to save the baby, and we’re at the hospital with her now.”
“Oh man.” Absorbing the impact of the words, Lucas went silent.
“I can’t stop thinking about Carrie never having a chance to meet the child she carried. We’re no stranger to death, but I’ve never felt this affected by it. Just now, Monica had the chance to give Emily, that’s the little baby’s name, a bottle. For the first time, I could picture myself a dad and imagine Monica holding our baby. It hit me that everything I’ve experienced in life up to this pales to the love a parent must have for their child.”
