“That will get expensive.”
“Worth every penny.” His voice dropped and turned husky. “I don’t want to only see you if I happen to be in the area.”
She allowed him to pull her closer. “Then we’ll make arrangements.”
“Soon.” His hand slid under her scarf and cradled the nape of her neck.
“Very soon.” Her breaths came ragged, her heartbeat erratic with anticipation.
His head lowered. “I can’t make promises … where this will lead.”
The declaration zapped any romance from the moment. She’d expected a kiss and got a…she didn’t know what she’d call it, but she wouldn’t have her first kiss with him immediately following a statement like that. She didn’t give her kisses away cheaply.
She pulled away, hurt and stunned.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” His face showed the same surprise she felt.
“But you did, which means it’s there, floating around in your head.”
“Can anyone make a promise like that, this early on?” He cringed, apparently realizing that was the wrong thing to say.
“I never asked for a promise, Landon.” She blinked, trying to make sense of what had happened. “And I like you, but I won’t get involved with someone who goes into a relationship assuming it will fail.”
“That’s not what I meant.” He blew out a breath, and along with it a puff of fog. “I’ve never had serious relationships because I don’t want to end up like my parents and abandon a family.”
A wave of sympathy struck her, but it didn’t have enough strength to sway her. “You’re not your parents. They made poor decisions, but that doesn’t mean you have to follow in their footsteps.”
“I don’t want to, but what if I can’t help it?”
Her heart ached for him because he was completely serious. The despair in his voice told her he truly believed he was capable of leaving those he loved. It only proved he had too much integrity to do that, but until he recognized that, fear would rule his relationships. “Your brother and sister are married. Do you think they’d leave their family?”
“No, but don’t you see? Those genes skipped over them, which makes my chances that much higher.”
She pressed a gloved hand to his cheek. “Give yourself the credit you deserve and forgive your parents. Only then will you see the truth.”
He took her hand off his cheek and kissed it. “I’ll walk you home.”
Chapter Ten
He didn’t like the man he saw in the mirror. A coward, afraid to face life. What happened to taking a risk? He’d thought he could, had convinced himself of it, but at the last second, he’d bailed.
Wasn’t Jessa worth it?
His words came back to haunt him.You’re worth it. He’d told her that minutes before dropping the bomb. She was worth dropping several hundred dollars for a weekend at Addy’s Bed and Breakfast just to be in Jasper Lake and spend time with her, but not worth overcoming his fears?
Their conversations since that night struck him as peculiar. They talked and laughed, exactly as they had before. They acted like … friends. He hadn’t talked to her since Christmas Day—almost a week. Okay for friends, but … She hadn’t backed away fromhim, only the progression of their relationship.
What did that translate to? How long could they maintain that farce?
His bloodshot eyes stared at him, daring him to take action.
“I don’t know what to do.” He slammed a fist on his dresser, taking out his frustration on the furniture.
The calendar would change to a new year in twelve hours, and Landon didn’t want to ring it in like this. He didn’t want more of the same.
He left his bedroom and grabbed his keys off the kitchen counter. Not giving it a second thought, he drove to Archer’s house. He needed brotherly advice.
The radio broke into his attention. The DJ shared statistics about New Year’s Eve, starting with the average number of marriage proposals, and ended with the percentage of people who ring in the new year with a kiss.
